people that cut themselves

[GeeK_2004]

what do you think of/about the idea of people that cut themselves...??

[JulieCitySlicker]

I think its gross :eek:

[mushroomy2k]

i think it is very wrong and sad that a person would do that to there selves
and they should seek help from somewhere like there schools guidance
counselers or there dr at least they could find the right help.
why the question??
you dont cut your self do you?? :slap: i hope not

[GeeK_2004]

why the question??
:slap:


I was just wondering...

[GoodGodGirl23]

Well, they shouldn't be bad-mouthed because of it, there is obviously something very wrong here, something troubling this person doing this, severe depresion maybe, something for which they need to seek help....schizophrenia even, who knows?? :confused:

[Aimee]

Geek, I think that people who cut/burn etc themselves have a lot of self hate. It stems from a feeling of being an "outsider" of some sort, or carrying a burden of (likely) secret pain. When they hurt themselves, it makes them feel more real. It also makes them FEEL... anything is better than all that emotional painto them. GGG is right, this person needs HELP and is crying out for it by scarring themselves. If you or anyone you know does this, you may want to let a trusted adult know, but don't make that person feel like they are a freak for it or they will withdraw even more. PM me if you want more info since I can understand.

[JenRN]

If you are being really serious here, it is a clinical problem. It can be related to OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or it could be an attention seeking behavior. It also could be someone in a phase of mania, or even schizophrenia. Anyways it is a serious problem some people have, I have seen people cut themselves BIGTIME, saying they are "cutting out the demons" etc.... can get really deep in psychology!

[facelessman]

some ppl just arent smart, ya know?

[marlsy]

some ppl just arent smart, ya know?


I hate to hear you say that. Being smart has nothing to do with a metal illness or disorder. It all has to do with chemicals in the brain, not smarts. Mental illness is hard for some people to understand if they have never known anyone with it. It is serious and not their fault, they need to seek help and understanding...

[creedsister]

some ppl just arent smart, ya know? i know you did,nt mean it sometimes we say things before we think}}but its a sick morbid life to live to know that this is the only way to kill the pain inside you that its at you and theres not really a thing you can do it about it this is way of life that how some just smoke or eat to get buy others cut theme self ok and only a GOD can set you free from something like back shrinks only make things worse all the care about is money and they think that they can get inside your head and awake things that Are not even there Geek if you know someone or ya or na GODS THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HELP

[GoodGodGirl23]

I hate to hear you say that. Being smart has nothing to do with a metal illness or disorder. It all has to do with chemicals in the brain, not smarts. Mental illness is hard for some people to understand if they have never known anyone with it. It is serious and not their fault, they need to seek help and understanding...
I was going to say that right before I read your post Marlsy, smartness has nothing to do with it.... :(

[creedsister]

Well, they shouldn't be bad-mouthed because of it, there is obviously something very wrong here, something troubling this person doing this, severe depresion maybe, something for which they need to seek help....schizophrenia even, who knows?? :confused: your damn right

[JenRN]

Believe me mental illness is not an easy or fun thing to deal with, I dealt with it for 9 years with my ex. It tears you apart and those who love you. :(

[hayley]

People who cut themselves are crying out for help it's their way of dealing with some kind of pain they are going through, I know that that's not the only reason, but that plays a very big part in people who decide to hurt themselvses in that kind of way, they are crying out for help, serious help, that they can't find themselves.

[crest tattoo]

Ok, I'm going to take a huge step here and say something I really haven't talked about much. I did it when I was 18 or 19. I was going through post-tramatic stress symdrome and didn't have any idea why I was doing it or that I was really trying to get rid of the stress I had suffered from a date rape. I was in denial, but the pain I felt inside and anxiousness due to self-blame, somehow if I felt pain on the outside, it wasn't there on the inside. I was actually suicidal from it and went to the hospital for a while and seen this happening on another patient; unfortunately for me, it showed me how to deal with pain at that time. I stopped doing it shortly after I started. I had never heard of the actual disease or seen anything on TV about it, just seen this girl at the hospital. It seemed to help at the time. Years later, I got counseling and then realized that I had suffered from the rape and was in denial at that age.
Can't believe I wrote this here. I've never told anyone about it since the girl that I lived with at the time.
I'm not a freak BTW. It was a stage of my life I suffered through but am fine now. So, it's not just freaks, obsessive-compulsive people. I'm not proud of it by any means. And I'm not asking for sympathy or apologies here. Just wanted to clarify some things. The only freak I am now...is a Creedfreak :)

[crest tattoo]

BTW, Marlsy, I LOVE your avatar!

[hayley]

Wow, that was really brave of you to open up just like that, thanks for sharing that with us. :hugs:

I had a friend who cut herself once, 2 friends actually. It wasn't nice at all to see them go through pain and get to the stage where they had to physicaly hurt themselves. I didn't know what to do, and when you are in that position, you feel helpless and bad that you can't do anything, but there really was nothing I could do, I couldn't do much, as the only person that could help them out of their trouble was themselves. But they pulled through it. Just a shame that they have the scars now. Always there to remind them of what they did.

[crest tattoo]

Sometimes "those scars" aren't always so bad. They remind you of what you got through. I look at them and think God was watching over me and kept me alive, and I am thankful.
My mother-in-law had radiation and has was burned from it badly on her neck. She looks at it everyday and it hurts her. I told her, "Mom, you have a scar. Aren't you glad you are alive to see it? I know I am." You can look at all situations two ways, be thankful or be angry.

[hayley]

Yeah that's true, good point. I guess when I look at their arms I just see and feel the pain that they went through, you know? That's all I can see because I got so emotionally involved, I can't help but feel some of their pain.

[Xterminator27]

i kid in my school accedently cut part of his finger off

why did he cut himself, we will never know, probly because he wasnt looking at the safety rules

[hayley]

I remember one time when it was the last day of school and my class were taking down all the pictures off the wall, there were newspaper clippings hanging from the ceiling, I got up on one chair, and my male friend got up on another chair beside me, he had scissors and I didn't, so I went to grap one newspaper clipping with my hands and he went to grab it with his scissors, and off goes the tip of my finger :thud: Not alot but I can still see the slope where he cut it :roll: It was disgusting there was blood everywhere....:crying:

Anyway, off topic!

[Julbright]

I just want to clarify for you all to make sure you have correct information. I am a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. Self abusing is a symptom - it can occur within a variety of diagnoses which can be severe like schizophrenia or not - intelligence certainly has nothing to do with it - and the people who engage in this behavior are suffering pain and this is a maladaptive coping skill - they don't need to be judged. Mental illness occurs just as any other illness does - people do not ask to be mentally ill nor do they cause it - and they need treatment just as someone with diabetes or heart disease does. I know it doesn't make rational sense how something like that would be helpful to a person but many people engage in senseless behaviors everyday. We need to support not understand.


JOY my friend that was very brave of you to go public with your story but to me that just shows that you have dealt with it appropriately and have integrated it into your history. I am proud of you and happy that you have dealt with it so well. Love ya!

[mushroomy2k]

i wanted to appologize to you geek2004 for puting the slapsmiley in
my first post that was wrong please forgive me.
you have many friends here who would be glad to help you in anyway.
just having people to talk with can help a whole lot.
i never get heartburn but last night i ate two peaces of lemon and
it made my chest hurt so bad i thought i was having a heart attack
and i was scared to go to sleep,so i kept thinking about my post
here and it made me sad must be my karma getting back.
take care and we allways will be here for you.

[Aimee]

Yes, Joy thank you for sharing! PTSD is a real problem for anyone who has gone through any kind of trauma. Thanks also to Julbright for your educated input. It's not always a mental illness that makes people go through these things. Very seemingly "normal" people who have been traumatised can also have these feelings of worthlessness.

[TeriB19]

Joy, kudos to you, my dear, for sharing your experiences with us. Very very brave. I have never dealt with this matter and any education on it is always a plus. Thanks to all of you for opening up and telling what you all know.

[Julbright]

Yes, Joy thank you for sharing! PTSD is a real problem for anyone who has gone through any kind of trauma. Thanks also to Julbright for your educated input. It's not always a mental illness that makes people go through these things. Very seemingly "normal" people who have been traumatised can also have these feelings of worthlessness.

Thank you for pointing this out - let me rephrase somethings - I was referring to all these syndromes as mental illness when really the origins of things can be quite varying. I still think that mentally ill people are "normal" and can live very normal lives with the right treatment - of course there are varying degrees of everything and there will always be people bedridden for medical illnesses and likewise people impaired by mental illness. I do see what you were saying too though that people who experience trauma may develop a psycholocial response like PTSD and such and those people tecnically weren't mentally ill (biologically speaking) - the environment imposed trauma on them. I think that is what you mean.

The common denominator though is that it isn't something to be judged. Just as some people can be around 15 kids with a cold and never get it but I could look across the room at a kid with a drippy nose and come down with a full blown 2 week long cold - or the person who smokes for 50 years with no diseases caused from it and the person who gets lung cancer after smoking for a small number of years - people's bodies respond differently to things and it is just the way it is.

I am glad to see the outpouring of support for these folks who are talking here!

[GeeK_2004]

for the people that ACTUALLY cut....how can they stop from cutting ??

[SCOTTSMYMAN]

To Joy you are a very brave person to share your experience with us so now let me be the next! I used to cut too. I was much younger though around 13 is when I started and it came form the same thing, a rape! I didn't know how to fully deal with the rape because when it happened I was only 12 years old(I was a virgin) and they were boys I knew from my neighborhood! I never did deal with it or tell me parents so in order to deal I cut. It helped dull the pain of everything else that was reeling around in my brain! I was also drinking all the time! I attempted suidcide when I was 15 but it was more a cry for help than anything even though I felt like I really did just want to die! I was hospitalized for several months and while I was there the rape came to light after 3 years! My mom of course wanted to get into all the legal aspects but I just wanted to move on. It was soon after that that I stopped because I was getting help and seeing a councilor on a regular basis! I learned how to deal with the pain of what had happened and as time went I on Steve showed me what it was all supposed to be about! I met him shortly after! It took alot of time but I've been ok and now have beecome a very strong person because of it!

[Julbright]

You folks are brave and I am proud of you. It isn't easy to share those things, and it is obvious to me that you do so in an effort to help others. Thanks. If someone is cutting, they need professional help. It is a serious problem and it won't just go away if you try to make yourself stop. Counselors can be very cool and normal - I am :D - and they can help you sort out what is behind all the pain and get some healthy ways to cope with it.

[GeeK_2004]

If someone cuts them selves too deep....can they kill themselves ???

[Aimee]

I do see what you were saying too though that people who experience trauma may develop a psycholocial response like PTSD and such and those people tecnically weren't mentally ill (biologically speaking) - the environment imposed trauma on them. I think that is what you mean.
Yes Jul this is what I mean. I hope my post didn't come off as sarcastic. I really do mean it when I thank you for your :2cents:
Uhhh..... Geek, where are the cuts and how much do they bleed? I'm not a nurse or a doctor, but maybe Jen can shed some light on how much blood one can lose without dying???

[Julbright]

G2004 can I ask why you are asking this?

[GeeK_2004]

G2004 can I ask why you are asking this?
I was just wonderin...

[Julbright]

I was just wonderin...
Well I genuinely hoping you aren't asking because you are planning on trying.

[hayley]

Yeah I'm abit worried here, Kim. :( Do you know someone that is doing or attempting to do this, or is this happening to you? Because I'm sure most people just don't ask a serious subject like this just because they are curious, is there something wrong? Hope you don't mind me asking but I'm here for you if there is, okay? :hugs:

[marlsy]

Kim I also worry about you! Please pm me if you want k? I'm here for you!

[crest tattoo]

G2004, I too am very concerned after going back and reading your posts. As having gone through it, I'm here if you need me. goadwrightj@charter.net if that's the case or the thought even. Please take this thought or process very, very seriously! I believe, Jen or Julie, help me here, you can cut enough to bleed-tragically-I'll say.
To Julie and all of you, thanks for your support. Like I said, I didn't put it there to get mushy, but I appreciate your thoughts and comments. Julie, you are the most caring person. Love ya too! ;) Like you said Julie, by fessing up and relating, I am over it and it's not even an issue.

[crest tattoo]

OMG BTW, when did the avatars get so yummy around here? Kris, love Collin Farrell, his looks, not so much his mouth and actions, but he isssss fine. :eek:

[Sheila63]

First of all, thank you so much to Joy and Kris for the courage you have to share your stories with us.:hugs:

Kim, I have to say, I'm as concerned as the others are about you. Please feel free to send me a pm if you want or need to talk.:hugs:

[Alter Shredder]

This has been a very informative topic. I want to thank those who have had the courage to tell their stories. I think it is time I join in. While I never cut myself, I got close. (I am like Tremo and that needles and sharp objects scare me) But i did hurt myself in other ways. (I wont go into for the sake of not giving anyone any ideas.) But when I read a lot of peoples posts I started to realize that I fit into a lot of the stuff. I did stuff for attention. I did feel very lonely and not a part of anything. I did have ocd. And the final straw was when psycolgocially i became so distraught, that i would eat but the food did not stay down. When I became sick I learned that people do care for me. The thing is, i still have a lot of pain inside. I have tried to find ways of release that arent painful. It is hard to but I know I must go on. I just keep hope that for me things will get better, they are starting to but it is still very hard.

[Sheila63]

Thank you for sharing your story with us too, Iced. After reading yours, I feel the need to share my own since I see some similarities. I was sexually assaulted when I was a teenager and although I never cut myself, I found other unhealthy ways to cope with my feelings. Like Iced, I was lonely and never really felt like I belonged. My way of dealing with all of this was overeating. Even now, I'm working on dealing with my emotions without turning to food to numb myself or make myself feel better, knowing that it's only a temporary fix. Although it doesn't have the immediate impact as cutting yourself, in the long run, it's turned out to be destructive. It's effected my health and made me feel like a prisoner at times. Fortunately, with the help of a wonderful therapist, everything is getting better and I've noticed alot of personal changes in the last couple of years but I still have work to do.

[Dogstar]

Wow, all I can say is you guys are incredibly brave. :hugs: to everyone, and please, Geek_2004, if this is about you or a friend, please get you or that person help. This is very serious. People here have shown that you can get through it with help!

[crest tattoo]

Boy, you start looking around and you realize how many of us have suffered from one thing or another. To all of you who are, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm so glad to hear you all are getting help. I went through my share of counselors before I found one that actually helped, and I've been doing well since. There'll always be flashbacks, but you learn how best to deal with them.
Iced...to you, I want you to know that sometimes you can find it easier to talk to people who are more casual than close, and you work things out in your head as you write too. Of course, there's more you need to do than just that, as it sounds you are. Thanks to you and Sheila for sharing your stories too. Not all people are hurtful. There are good people left in the world, a lot of them actually. So hang in there. Share, and give yourself a break sometimes.

[crest tattoo]

Ok G2004, I looked up your profile, and I see you're reading this thread now. Please come around and let us all know you how you are.
Tomorrow, BTW, is your one year anniversary at the feed! :D

[GeeK_2004]

...I went back to school this past tuesday...Went to first block...come to find out i`m the only female out of 19 people....Feels like I`m being watched or something. ...I only have one friend in one class...I have absoulutiy no one to talk to at lunch....literally all the bullys that bullied me is in two of my classes....Thankfully they havent started up any bully sh!t yet...

[Sheila63]

Thank you so much, Dogstar and Joy. :D I appreciate the support. Joy, you are so right, not everyone is hurtful. For most of my life I lived with so much fear. But thanks to my own growth and to all of you as well, I'm not full of fear anymore. Just ask any of the CreedFeed Festers from FL. I got on an airplane for the first time last May and flew by myself. The old me would never have done that. :)

[GeeK_2004]

and ever since schoool started up again....literally every day I think about when I was in Jr. High when these bully's bullyied ( how ever you want to say or put it......)me...It was so f**king hard for me not to break down. If I DID break down it was when I was when I was in my room ...with the door closed.....just cryiin .....I even cryied my self to sleep......The teachers didnt do a G.D. thing about it....

[crest tattoo]

G2004, most the time, bullies are jealous of the victim, remember that. Once you get OUT of school, you realize that. Stand tall and proud. You do have all of us here to vent to. Obviously, there's many that care about you at this place. Is there a counselor at school? Are you hooked up with a church at all? I'm not going all holy roller on ya, but sometimes there's youth groups there. Don't let the bullies win, which if you hurt yourself or get upset, is what you're doing! Stick with us, at the least. What else can we do?

[GeeK_2004]

...I've been going in and out of depression ever since I was in the early 9th grade....never really got any help what so ever....just kinda dealt with it...Tryed so f**kin hard to tell my mom....if I did .....I got even more depressed then what i was earlyier...I never saw a consuler ....execept one time....didnt really gone too well...like the whole time I was talkin to her...she had f**kin smile on her face like she was Mrs. Happy or something...

[GeeK_2004]

I dont go to chruch anymore....Never really liked chruch anyhow...even if I did want to go ...all of suden...parents would wonder why...

btw....I have a big problem talkin to my parents when it comes to this kind of stuff....

[GeeK_2004]

I have to go for a few mins....i`ll be back on in about 30 mins or so...

[crest tattoo]

G2004, stick with us. Keep talking. If Julie PMs you, talk to her. She's wonderful and sooo caring. Like I said, if you don't find a counselor you like, try another if you can. You really have to week through them. There are good ones there.

[Sheila63]

Joy is right, Kim. It took me awhile to find a therapist I clicked with but when you find a good one, it can make all of the difference in the world. I've dealt with depression myself so I can understand where you're coming from. By the sound of it, I was alot like you growing up. I always felt like an outsider at school, sometimes I felt that way at home too. And I had my share of bullying too. We're here for you and I'm proof that things do get better. I'm so much happier and content with myself now. You're a good person, remember that.:hugs:

[whitebird]

Geek2004, I think that you should be very proud of yourself for starting this thread, it was a very brave thing to do. Give yourself a huge amount of credit here.

Look what you started!! I am so very impressed with what everyone else has come on and said. There is great support here for you, and you have taken the first step to receiving help. I must admit that I didn't know much about this subject, but I am now learning. Take the support of the professionals, and the people that have personal experiance on this thread, and continue to go from there.

There is a lot of love here, and it's being given to you.

[Julbright]

G2004 - I am so worried about you as are many in this thread! Please come back and chat with us

I am telling you as a professional that there is help and the people who shared their stories here have proved that.

the other thing I want to ask of you is to please consider the people around you both in your life and here on the feed. The concern for you is at a huge high and not knowing if you are planning on hurting yourself is scaring us.

Please remember that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Problems hurt so much at the time but things do change. There are so many successful happy adults who were bullied as younger people. and most teenagers have a hard time communicating with their parents. YOU ARE NOT ALONE even if you feel that way right this minute.

[Sheila63]

G2004 - I am so worried about you as are many in this thread! Please come back and chat with us

Please remember that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Problems hurt so much at the time but things do change. There are so many successful happy adults who were bullied as younger people. and most teenagers have a hard time communicating with their parents. YOU ARE NOT ALONE even if you feel that way right this minute.


You're so right, Julie. One of the revelations I've had going through all that I have in life is that I'm never alone. Like Creed says in so many of their songs such as Don't Stop Dancing and in Inside Us All, specifically the part in my signature. Kim, their words and music have helped me so much the last two years, I hope you can find some of the same comfort and healing.

[Dogstar]

Geek_2004, Joy is right about the bullying...Stand tall. I know it seems hard right now. Believe me, that I can relate to. I was bullied mercilessly by five girls all through the sixth grade and I suffered in silence because there really wasn't the help available to me at that time. Schools today have a lot more resources. Anyway, I found a way to settle it once and for all and it may not have been the best option, but it worked. I'm not sure it would work in today's world. Nevertheless, that's when I became a much stronger person and learned to really stand up for myself. It also made me a more compassionate person, for I vowed that I would never pick on or belittle another person because I knew how god-awful it made me feel inside. I just want you to know that you can get through it and come out the better for it, not that I would ever wish it on anyone.

[Xterminator27]

geez, shit like this never happens at my school.
my school is like
Everyone loves everyone.

all teh ugly girls are like best friends with the hot girls.
noone really haits each other, everyone is good and happy with everyone, (at least from what i see) i never see any loners ore people getting picked on because it never happens. nothen bad ever happens, fights are extremly rare. there ARE no bullies, there ARE no cast outs. Everyone is peachy, and even new kids who just come no matter if their fat or whatnot always get tons of new friends in days.
This is at least in my grade level. But i have never seen shit like this stuff you talk about. and if there is one kid who picks on someone else, literally everyone gets pissed at him and such.
i go to a canadian catholic school.
but at times it can be worst (in drug busts, vandalism and illegal stuff) then anywhere else. but (in my grade level) noone haits anyone, everyone is so friendly, when i read shit like this, it somewhat confuses me why places would be like so.

[marlsy]

Wow X, you are extremely lucky!! Maybe it's Canada, here school for kids is so hard it's not even funny, it's a big popularity contest and it's really pathetic. Count your blessings!!

[SCOTTSMYMAN]

Kim I shared my story in hopes you would see that bad things happen to everyone. As far as bullies are concrened believe me I've had my share The boys who stole me innocence i went to high school with. They were unmerciful to me. They did what they did to me and wrote my name on the boys bathroom wall and called me a slut! I was also heavy and the things people would say were horrible! But I got through it! Please as i read this there are soo many people here who care about you! If you can't talk to your parents and can't find a councelor try a teacher you might trust! Someone and all of us are always here for you! It will be a year for me soon that I have been on this board and I have to say the amount of support and loving people on here is amazing! Please,again just know we are here!

[JulieCitySlicker]

I was bullied a lot in school to Kim :mad: I remember going home from school bauling all the time cuz of the way I was treated and I took it out on my family mostly cuz I couldn't do anything about it, I was to afraid to stick up for myself. I would go right to my room and barely left it. My family was really worried for me for a while there because I never left my room. I have days still now that I just avoid people cuz I just get tired of everybody sometimes, I'm not much of a people person outside of coming here and to the other boards I go to because of that to. I've never tried to hurt myself ever deliberately but I have been suicidal many times.

[GeeK_2004]

my parents didnt/doesnt even/ have the slightest clue that I was bullyied in Jr. High...

[crest tattoo]

Julie, I sincerely hope you are ok now. Mercy, kids can be soooo mean. I read in Reader's Digest last year what people are doing to fight back against bullies. They are training kids to join together with the victim and fight back against the bully. It has had a significant impact. I actually approached the counselor at my kids' school last year about it, but she blew it off. :mad:

[GeeK_2004]

I tried overdosing (many, many times) before...I would always go to bed praying that I wouldnt wake up the next morning....I was even thinkin about doing something else ...but I dont really want to mention it...

[Julbright]

I tried overdosing (many, many times) before...I would always go to bed praying that I wouldnt wake up the next morning....I was even thinkin about doing something else ...but I dont really want to mention it...

Kim, it is obvious you are hurting and I am glad you are talking to us. Please, consider getting some help. I am confident that the people here will support you but you really need somone near you to help. This is very serious.

Are you able to promise us right now that you won't do anything to hurt yourself for the next 48 hours?

[JulieCitySlicker]

I'm doing ok with it now :) I still get pissed off if I think about it or if someone asks me about school and all though :mad: That is a good idea to have somrthing like that in the schools! I really wish someone thought about that when I was in school :rolleyes: I was the only black girl in my school and I really wished I wouldn't had the guts to knock the crap out of some punks at my school :)

[Julbright]

Kim as you can see we have all struggled with crap in the past. I think people are trying very hard to rally around you here and give you some hope that things will get better. Aren't we everyone????

[JulieCitySlicker]

Darn right Julie :dancing:

[crest tattoo]

Yes, we really do care Kim. It's sincere. Let us help you, ok? You're worth a lot. You may not feel it now, but we really do. It's good that you're talking to someone. Stick with us kid.

[Xterminator27]

well bascially heres how it is.

highschool may suck right now. but it will end.
and hwen it does all that means nothing. you go on to collage, meet new people see new people. You get a good job, meet someone you like. mayby even get married or have kids someday. move to a new home, make neigbour friends, and look back thinking "god if i killed myself i would have lost all of this"
People ge tto caught up in the "present" than in teh future, suicide or suicide attemps can only make it worst, bad times will come, and ive had a few in times, but tehy will pass. After highschool is over, all that popularity and shit means NOTHING. your all on your own, and you move to different places to meet new people and get a new job or whatever. IF your feeling really bad, an actual good thing to do is read the bible. It may sound stupid or pointless, but it actually does help you in times of need.
Dont throw away now, what you may have later. 2 years of hell can be worth 56 years of heaven.

[GeeK_2004]

Yes, we really do care Kim




And I appreate it too...really !!

I might not show it ...but I really do..

[crest tattoo]

Can you please do what Julie asked you though, 48 hours? please.

[GeeK_2004]

yes I will

[crest tattoo]

Thank you Kim! Thank you. I'm praying for you. It could help. It can't hurt. Kim, keep talking to us, please. We are all concerned and care. I hope you know it's sincere. Chill out tonight. Listen to Creed and breathe. Love ya kid.

[Julbright]

yes I will
awesome - that is good to hear. keep in touch here - we will be here to support you.

[GeeK_2004]

Look...I need to go now and get to bed ...


I'll get on here in the morning anywhere from 7:30 (am) to about 8:00 (am) ....I'll try to get on after class If I can....

btw....the times I just gave you....its central time where I'm at ....so the times probably be different from you all are at....

[hayley]

You gotta hang in there Kim and take care of yourself, that's what matters the most. We can help you, but at the end of the day, you have to find a way out yourself. But we love ya and we will take care of you. :hugs:

Someone very close to me has just gone through absolute hell and back, and I was right there by his side from the beginning. I saw the pain, the hatred, the tears, the anger, and the helplessness that he went through, but he got a grip and made through it battered and bruised, but he still made it and he is alive today. The things he went through, well honestly, no one should have to go through what he did, NOBODY.

If he made it anybody can, hang in there Kim.

[JulieCitySlicker]

Highschool sucked heapin piles of money butt :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Julbright]

That is right - Kim you are the only one who can truly make this better. I am hoping that if you haven't cut yet that you won't start. Talk to someone, a professional, who can help you find a way to cope with your pain. Sometimes it takes a while to get through it but it is worth it and it can be done. You could even talk to your medical doctor - your doc may know of a good counselor who can help you. I probably won't be around much over the weekend so I am hoping that you will be ok.

[GeeK_2004]

Are you able to promise us right now that you won't do anything to hurt yourself for the next 48 hours?

Hope your not gonna get a counsler or someone to come and track me down or something....

[TeriB19]

I PM'd this to you Kim but I'm going to let everyone know, as it may help. When I was in High School, one of my very close friends was having some problems and she felt very uncomfortable speaking with her parents about things. However, she felt very comfortable with my mother and started confiding in her instead. My mom was warm and very caring and concerned and was of great help to my friend. If you can't talk to your parents, talk to someone else you are comfortable with. Don't keep it inside.

[SCOTTSMYMAN]

Kim I'm soo glad you have decided to keep talking to us! Just know that it will pass. You hear all of us have been through similar situations and managed to survive. It's hard I know but I have faith in you that you will! Please keep hanging in there. You're family here at Creedfeed will never let you down! :hugs:

[Mulletman]

Highschool sucked heapin piles of money butt :eek: :eek: :eek:

excuse me?

[Julbright]

GEEK 2004 - regarding your comment about sending someone to find you ----

Unfortunately, I can't really act in a professional capacity in a forum like this. If you had told me this in person and I knew you, I would be ethically and legally obligated to try to get you in a safe place. Here, though, all I can do is pray for you as a friend, and tell you what I think you need to know. I can tell you that there are people on this board who wanted to try to find ways to find you if it it became clear that you were going to attempt to hurt yourself. I only tell you that so that you can see that people care about you - even though we don't "know" you - the world is a very big place and there are so many more friendly caring people than the cowards who bully you at school. Dont' forget that. I felt HS for the most part was miserable but college/after high school ROCKED. When I was in HS I was shy and kind on the outskirts. In college, I obtained a job in the residence halls and promoted as high as one can go, I was on homecoming court, I was elected all school vice president (in a univeristy of 6,000 people), had a paid grad assitantship that allowed me to go to graduate school for free, and I made the most amazing friends in the world. I have friends who didn't go to college and the same things happened in their life. Even though it may seem that others in your school are happy and confident, they have insecurities and worries too. That is probably what is behind their bullying! Just hang in there and believe that things do and will change.

Listening to Creed can help so much. Do you have a video of the creed behind the music from VH1? When I listen to stapp's history it just amazes me. He once felt like you and look at him now - on top of the world.

My last piece of rambling here - remember that the only thing you really can control in this life is yourself. Be aware of your feelings and behaviors and try to be the best you you can be. Don't compare yourself to others and such. Decide what you like and don't like in life and live true to yourself. Only then can you really be happy. There will always be someone who disagrees with you or makes different choices. There is no one right answer. Be the best that you can be.

[Sheila63]

Kim, everyone has given you some wonderful advice. I shared some of my story here with everyone last night to show that there is hope, to help you realize that you're not alone and life does get better. I know how much you love music. Let that music help you. You know from the letter that I shared with you a few months ago how much Creed's words and music have helped me in my life the last few years. I will be around this weekend so please feel free to pm me, email me or use AIM to reach me, okay. We care about you and we've got your back.:hugs:

[GeeK_2004]

if any one who whishes to IM me ....i`m online now...

[Sheila63]

if any one who whishes to IM me ....i`m online now...

Kim, I'm at work so I don't have access to AIM but I'll send you a pm, okay?

[whitebird]

G2004, I can't IM you at this time, laugh if you will, but I will have to have my son show me how.

All the caring that has been going on in this thread is one of the most wonderful experiences that I have seen in a very long time. You are never alone here, and many here have opened their hearts to you. Don't ever forget that each of us makes a difference in this world, and you are touching peoples hearts, and they are responding because of your honesty.

The kindness of strangers is very special. You have awakened this in us.

Someday you can pass on your love and kindness to a stranger, in return.

If you are still on now let me know how you are doing.

[marlsy]

Kim, I just want you to know I know how you feel. I was depressed as a teenager and also used to cry myself to sleep many nights. I never thought I would be happy.

I'm here to tell you that when things seem their worst and nothing ever seems that it will be ok, you get through it by just going minute by minute, day by day. I never got the help I needed either because I really didn't want to burden my Mom, she was a single mother and worked alot to make ends meet. I really wish I would of asked for help though, As a mother that i am now, I would be heartbroken if I knew my child was in so much pain and they didn't come to me. I think you may be surprised by your Mom if you sit her down and talk to her about how you feel, if not her then someone else you feel comfortable with.

I am also here to tell you , things after High School get way way better!!!!! I met my husband, got married, had 3 kids and never ever thought I could be this happy. I'm not saying it cured my depression, because it didn't, I sought help as an adult and am now on medication for my depression and I can't tell you how much it helps!!! I am happy and not stressed and sad all the time like I used to be. I can't tell you enough times that you need to seek professional help. Please Please take our advice of those who have been how you are feeling now and confide in someone close to you. It's sooo important. What you are feeling now will pass I promise, it's not worth throwing your precious gift of life away. Think about how it would hurt your family and friends to know that you were in that much pain and you never shared with them, please please reach out. I will be praying for you......

[GeeK_2004]

I have dealt with (depression) for about 3 1/2 --4 years now...I never really got any help. I just simply left all the thoughts all botteled up inside...I've tried many times to TRY at least, to talk to my mom...But I just couldnt tell her anything....

i never taken anything for it (depression...)

[Dogstar]

Geek_2004, please find someone you can confide in. I know it seem hopeless now, but it's not. I wish to God my brother had because maybe he'd still be with us.

[whitebird]

G2004. please talk to your Mom, but if you can't, you could always show her this thread, and she could read your feelings, and the love and compassion that is being given to you here. You would never have to say a word to start out the conversation.

Let her read how you feel. She will then be able to understand and help you.

[GeeK_2004]

well..it looks like I wont be talkin to anyone on AIM while i`m in class anymore....

[Aimee]

I went to a mostly black/hispanic school growing up. I was the only white girl on the dance team, and a lot of people thought that I shouldn't be there. Once a group of girls from another school actually threw soda cans at me and told me to go home. Then another time, I came home with gum in my hair. There was also a girl on my team who hated me for no real good reason and every time I saw her in the hallway, she would say stuff like "I hate that redhead b****h" and that she was going to kick my a**. Of course, she never did anything about her threats, but it didn't help me to be bullied like that when I had enough problems at home. The only thing that helped me was whenever any of this stuff happened to me, I would say to myself "In twenty years who's gonna care?" over and over again. Well, guess what? She became a crack-addicted momma and I am a well-adjusted and passionate woman. Try to keep this in mind. Kids can be cruel for no reason.

[JulieCitySlicker]

Gosh Aimee :(
Its sad how mean kids can be! I had a few people that I went to school with hate me for no reason to :wtf: Had a girl threaten to kick my ass to but of course like your situation, never did :cool: Ah! All talk no action kinda thing I guess :D

[hayley]

she would say stuff like "I hate that redhead b****h" and that she was going to kick my a**. Of course, she never did anything about her threats, but it didn't help me to be bullied like that when I had enough problems at home.

That really sucks, Aimee. But there's a good point in what you just said, usually bullies who say they are going to "beat you up" or "kick your ass" Are just threatning you, and don't even do anything, they are just trying to scare you. I'm not saying that every bully is like that, that is defenitly not the case, but more times than not they don't actually physically hurt you. I have always said, and I will till the day I die, emotional hurt is FAR worse and can make you feel worse than physical hurt. There is no question about that. Physical wounds can heal, but a broken heart can't heal as easy.

I know bullies can make your life crap, I do, but you need to keep in mind that you are stronger than they are, don't let them see that you are hurting, don't let them see that they have got their way. If you let them know they have done what was intended, then they are going to keep at it, they won't stop. But, if you ignore them and be strong, they will eventually forget about it and let it go. It works, my mum told me that once when I was being bulied at school, and it worked. Took a little while, but it worked.

[GeeK_2004]

ok...I think I might not have made my self clear about the whole bully thing.....

here it goes...might be long.....


So..there I was in the 7th grade...just the normally nerdy/geeky/the person that was really shy. The bullying started in the 7th grade. their was this guy, Aaron Hall, The one guy that ALWAYS started sh!t. He had few friends of his own. Aaron was in few of my classes. He also had at least one friend to at least back him up with the whole bullying thing. It wasnt that bad in 7th....


then 8th grade came.....Oh my lord....Literatlly every day I got bullyied....either b/c I was fat or my big glasses that I had at the time...or the shirt that I had to happened to wear...or the pants ....basically anything....


In the 9th-11th....no bully's wasnt in my classes what so ever....I didnt see them...even if I did...it was for like a split second.


and now....I got that guy aaron in my 3rd...and just about every other bully in my 4th...

i`m just....I guess you can say...paraniod....about this whole bullying thing....just being worryed and all abotu if (just IF) they'll start up again...

[GeeK_2004]

I`m sorry ...I should have cleared this (bully stuff...) stuff up from the geeko

[SCTMM's hubby]

:hugs: :angel: :hugs: Stay strong. Hopefully they have grown up a little since the 8th grade. Because It sounds like you have.

[GeeK_2004]

yea...hopefully..

[hayley]

Yeah Kim I'm sure they will hang in there girl :hugs:

[Julbright]

just remember IF they start up again that bullies bully because they feel crappy about themselves. And they are pretty good at zoning in on people they think they can take advantage of. So be strong and confident - tell yourself that you are worthwhile and special - we all are - and that if they are going to pick on you they have a problem - not you. If they sense your confidence - they will likely leave you alone. And if they do start up again- they will tire of bullying you if it seems to not bother you. It is SOOO hard I know - but don't give other people control of your feelings and behaviors. A little psychobabble here - no one can make you feel anything - we choose how to respond to every situation.

One quick story - I realize this is probably not the same situation as you but just to show that we don't know for real what the bullying people are thinking ---- a boy transfered to my school in 2nd grade and that bugger teased me uncontrollably! I used to come home crying every day and my older sister would chase him down the block if he walked past my house - it was crazy. He would tell me I was fat (I look back now and I am like I was so not fat - I was in 5th grade but the rest of the years I looked pretty darn good. I was just developed for my age starting in 6th. anyway...) this went on all the way through 9th grade. Then when we got to high school, I got more confident and kind of broke away from the crowd I usually hung around with because I thought they were too caddy for me. We were all hanging out on a weekend night (I went to a small school so everyone pretty much knew everyone). I had to get home so I started walking home without my friends who got to stay out later. Lo and behold - guess who runs up to me and starts walking me home - yep you guessed it - the bugger - and guess what else - he kissed me. Nothing ever came from it but I can tell you he continued to tease me through 12th grade but I now took it differently. SOOOO while I am not saying this boy likes you or anything - I am saying that it is impossible to know what is behind all the teasing that people do. I spent years being miseable because I thought this boy hated me but he was really probably just teasing me to get my attention or because he felt inadequate himself.

Take control of your emotions and responses. Choose how you act - don't just react emotionally ! You go girl!!!!!

[JulieCitySlicker]

Hey Kim ;)
Do you have any older brothers? My older brother punched a kid that called me a nigger once :D

[GoodGodGirl23]

:eek: That's not even funny Julie, being called names like that....but good for your brother sticking up for you! ;)

[crest tattoo]

One thing that might help. This is kinda stupid, and it will be hard. It serves 2 purposes though. If he were to say to you, "I'm going to kick your ass," you could turn and look at him and repeat it LOUDLY. One thing, it should embarrass him, and two, it should get the teacher's attention. If you get sent to the office, oh well. It gets you out of harm's way and might get the ball rolling. You could also say back, "What, what's that, you're going to KISS my ass?" If he calls you fat, go to yo mama jokes online and find a good comeback. (you're mama's so fat, she stepped in front of the TV and I missed 3 episodes). :wtf:
I taught my first child in progression: A girl was bullying him in line at nursery school. I told him to "ask her to please stop." That didn't work. I told him to tell the teacher. That didn't work. Then I finally had to tell him to do it back. You hate to resort to it, but you may have to.
Just keep talking Kim. We're all here caring. And you only have 5 months left, and you'll be free of them forever. Then you'll go on to make yourself something much more than they'll ever be, and when you walk back with your chin up to your reunion, they'll drool :eek: and you'll know better.

[GeeK_2004]

Hey Kim ;)
Do you have any older brothers? My older brother punched a kid that called me a nigger once :D
unfortuanlly ...i`m the only kid...

wait...I got three STEP sisters....that I rarely talk too.....but the only child by my mom...

[crest tattoo]

All that has been devastated
Can be recreated :rolleyes:

Kim, read your own words very carefully! You can do it kid. ;)

[GeeK_2004]

do any of you all have yahoo messanger....??


I didnt know that you dont have to down load anything ..really....

well any way...if you do...I go by bsbfan9_69

[crest tattoo]

I have msn and aim. Do you have either of those? I believe you have aim, but maybe just at school??

[GeeK_2004]

I have aim at home to..

[Sincirr]

I'm new to this thread. I was blown away by the support U guys have been given, GeeK 2004!

I wish I had that when I was cuttin'...then again, we choose not to let anyone know, and I hid them under a sort of GnR scarf wrapped around my wrist. Had them all the way up my arm. Hated myself entirely...the cutting took away heaps of the emotions. Out with the blood came the pain.

There were alot of built up reasons why I did it. Physical and verbal abuse over many many years, including being bullied. Not good when U get home and get the same!

I look back on it now and cannot believe I did it. I look at my wrist and cannot even fathom cutting it now. Still got the scars........"U C my wrist, I know your pain".

There's a difference between cutting and being suicidal. Make sure U assess the difference within yourself, cos one of them can be fatal. We dont' want that 4 U.

The most important thing for you is to know without a shadow of doubt that U R loved. Also to know the integral reason U R here. Your unique and special qualitites. U R here 4 a reason. Even though U dont go to Church, I pray that God will reveal that 2 U and help U heal. He did 4 me...gee this was hard to write!

Blessings.
D

[Julbright]

Sincirr - thanks for sharing your story I am sure it was hard. It is helpful to hear not only from someone who has been there but also someone who now can't imagine cutting. I think people would be amazed at how common cutting is but hopefully talking about it here like we are will help anyone in that position to consider there are better ways to deal with their pain. Of course I am going to say see a counselor because I am one, but I do believe that is the best route to take.

[Mulletman]

Sweetheart, you need help. You really need to go talk to your mother, family or a counselor of some sort. Depression, anxiety, stress are normal factors of life, but when it gets to the point in which it controls a large percentage of your life you might need to go talk to someone. We can sit here and help you through this all you want but it wont have the same effect of a spoken conversation. Sometimes just talking (literally) makes a huge difference. No one will judge you, this is high school. we all went through this at one point or another so we all here know you feel. when we say it will get better, we're not kidding. High school was a bitch for a lot of us, but look. we are all here, we all alive, and we all got over it. All I can tell you is just hang in there. If a bully starts anything with you, stand up for yourself, just be smart about it. Dont come out swinging because you will not win. You said that in one of your classes you are the only female. Deal with it, I know you dont like it and I know you feel very uncomfortable about it, but its the only thing you can do. The last thing you want is to make it obvious. Then everybody in that class will start to bother you, not just that one jerk. Its better to be the quiet person that no one knows, than the scared twitchy one that gets everyones attention.

I personally cannot comprehend the idea behind this self mutulization. I have this "shit happens - deal with and get over it" theory that i live by. thats why very little things phase me. So probably my advise wont prove to be very helpful to you or anyone but probably the smartest thing i could you on this is to go talk to your mom about this. Or if you pay my airfare and hotel and take care of these people for you ;)

[crest tattoo]

Mullet, I agree with some of what you said, most actually. "Deal with it" is great, but it's sooo much easier said than done. First off, you're a guy. :male: Your emotions do not play a part of your actions like a female. We are the planners and the worriers of the society. We worry before it happens, right or wrong. I wish "deal with it" were that easy. I wish I could have that attitude. Your personality does, if someone else's doesn't, you have to learn to deal with issues coming from his/her background.
I also don't think you should "be the quiet one." You have to take a stand for yourself. When my sister was little, four boys picked on her every day and pushed her down. My mom finally said ENOUGH. She told my sister to go out and make her way through them. My sister went out looking like a "tornado" with her arms a flyin'. They never bothered her again. Being quiet will make it worse. Then they know they've gotten to you.
Your main point here though, I think we all agree. Somewhere Kim needs to find help. We can't do it all on a BB, although I think it has helped and she has gotten the idea that there are people who care.
All in all though Mullet, you really came off with some good shit here. I'm impressed! Didn't know you had it in you. Maybe we should all kick in and buy you a plane ticket and you could go kick some ass! :chair: :headbang: :slap: :samurai:

[creedsister]

[QUOTE=Sincirr]I'm new to this thread. I was blown away by the support U guys have been given, GeeK 2004!

I wish I had that when I was cuttin'...then again, we choose not to let anyone know, and I hid them under a sort of GnR scarf wrapped around my wrist. Had them all the way up my arm. Hated myself entirely...the cutting took away heaps of the emotions. Out with the blood came the pain.
Sincirr Ive Had Not posted here about this topic but ive read and all the support that these dudes have be giving this child is Awsome!!! this thread is not the first time i seen Geek2004 little tips ok this child has been very strong in my prayers~I WAS A CUTTER AS WELL ~~im not proud of it i wore longsleeves for a long time ~~but Thank God For For being God And Creed For Being Creed im alive and crazy but no more romance with a blade i Got FIRE now hehe but cutting only leads to death sooner or later And this Child i feel in my spirt everytime i see the name it troubles me so ive kept this soul close in my prayers Nobody knows that way of life that is only if they have been there~~God Bless you sincirr i know this was hard for you to write sweetie but sometimes it makes a diffrence when we know were not the only ones~~ps OUT WITH THE BLOOD CAME THE PAIN``killer what i mean is it just inspired me to write something sorry~~And a big GOD BLESS YA we all live under the Reign Of on King~~

[creedsister]

:angel: [QUOTE=Sincirr]I'm new to this thread. I was blown away by the support U guys have been given, GeeK 2004!

I wish I had that when I was cuttin'...then again, we choose not to let anyone know, and I hid them under a sort of GnR scarf wrapped around my wrist. Had them all the way up my arm. Hated myself entirely...the cutting took away heaps of the emotions. Out with the blood came the pain.
Sincirr Ive Had Not posted here about this topic but ive read and all the support that these dudes have be giving this child is Awsome!!! this thread is not the first time i seen Geek2004 little tips ok this child has been very strong in my prayers~I WAS A CUTTER AS WELL ~~im not proud of it i wore longsleeves for a long time ~~but Thank God For For being God And Creed For Being Creed im alive and crazy but no more romance with a blade i Got FIRE now hehe but cutting only leads to death sooner or later And this Child i feel in my spirt everytime i see the name it troubles me so ive kept this soul close in my prayers Nobody knows that way of life that is only if they have been there~~God Bless you sincirr i know this was hard for you to write sweetie but sometimes it makes a diffrence when we know were not the only ones~~ps OUT WITH THE BLOOD CAME THE PAIN``killer what i mean is it just inspired me to write something sorry~~And a big GOD BLESS YA we all live under the Reign Of on King~~rock on

[JulieCitySlicker]

Mullet, I agree with some of what you said, most actually. "Deal with it" is great, but it's sooo much easier said than done. First off, you're a guy. :male: Your emotions do not play a part of your actions like a female. We are the planners and the worriers of the society. We worry before it happens, right or wrong. I wish "deal with it" were that easy. I wish I could have that attitude. Your personality does, if someone else's doesn't, you have to learn to deal with issues coming from his/her background.
I also don't think you should "be the quiet one." You have to take a stand for yourself. When my sister was little, four boys picked on her every day and pushed her down. My mom finally said ENOUGH. She told my sister to go out and make her way through them. My sister went out looking like a "tornado" with her arms a flyin'. They never bothered her again. Being quiet will make it worse. Then they know they've gotten to you.
Your main point here though, I think we all agree. Somewhere Kim needs to find help. We can't do it all on a BB, although I think it has helped and she has gotten the idea that there are people who care.
All in all though Mullet, you really came off with some good shit here. I'm impressed! Didn't know you had it in you. Maybe we should all kick in and buy you a plane ticket and you could go kick some ass! :chair: :headbang: :slap: :samurai:
I can come up with $20.00 to put towards that fee Joy :dancing: :D

[Sincirr]

See, another problem is that when U R doin it, U dont wanna talk to people about it cos it's your thing. I'm not trying to be negative, but to give insight mabe? There was a chick that was carving up her arms at my school like me, and she tried to hang out with me cos we felt the same and I was like, um, get the hell away from me!

G2004 and others reading that may be in the same position, if U read this, use your will and not your feelings to make a decision to go to a councillor about it. U make appointments and they don't normally chase U up like friends can, but they are professionals and U will note a difference in the future. It's like eating stuff U dont like but U know that it makes a difference in your body. The help they give u, talking about it and also understanding yourself will make U feel alot more empowered. I think U deserve that. If U cant afford one, I know certain agencies and churches have free ones if U dont like the school's one. Julbright is right. Consider it mate.

[Torn Signs]

I hear they do it as a stress reliever and I can't blame 'em for that, though I'd me frantic if I saw my best friends or my family member doin' it.

[Torn Signs]

Ok, since I partially understand what the hell goes on in High School, I'll post a bit here. I'm 15-16 next month and yeah, I understand the bully thing well. I've been bullied most of my life b/c my family is not the richest out there and we strive to get things done while still havin' a good time w/ life...livin' on a farm can be worse w/ the stress of what the animals and crops can bring, + what goes on in school. I fight it though, here lemme go to like how I used to be and how I am now

I punched a kid 3 grades above me in third grade for just annoyin' me on the bus when I was doin' homework. In fourth grade I beat up a kid in my class when I had a student teacher b/c he was annoying me, hurt my friend's feelings, and b/c I was a big bully in some sorts then too, got an F in math and didn't care. Fifth grade-no classes w/ the bad friends I made, quieted somewhat, but still had a bad temper...even got to be friends w/ my very good nice partially blind bestfriend again--did continue to be somewhat careless about school-kicked the same kid I did in fourth grade again and this time got away w/ it b/c the teacher agreed he was bein' an arse. Six grade-average year, average ppl I hung around, quiet yet, so-so grades. 7th grade-hard time adapting to Jr. High, lived w/ it till the ned of the year, got really good grades, made a quiet repuatation while still havin' some friends, continued to be partially made fun of...bad year though b/c I like previous years got made fun of on the bus, went thru w/ good grades, but got very noddheaded and very very ragey, prob. cuz I watched a lot of wrestlin' then...I WANTED to fight and I WAS desperate, I had NO control. This kid on my bus wouldn't shut his trap and like one of the last days of school, I swore at him that when he got to the JR.High, he'd pay, or somethin' like that, ...I was about to punch him, it was before school, way from any adult supervision, my only savior was my friend who was there, she pulled me away, i asked her too and I thank God she did today b/c I coulda been expelled or somethin' for a fight, for interrupting bus plans, I had NO control...so 8th grade the kid did have school one grade below me, the year went so-so, I'd see him and ignore him, over the summer I joined martial arts for bad reasons--wanted to fight--wanted to kill maybe even, that's why I joined, and I joined in a bad place too, it was in Owatonna under this punk dude who had very few morals and eventually...I just found out...would abuse his wife, so anyway that year was fine, Ninth grade was ok b/c I got good grades like the previous 3 years and I was alright to the adaption of High School, a lot of Homework and books, but I was beginnin' to control it--
what happened? It was April, a tournament in 2001-my breaking point--I was a sore looser for sparring--offically allowed to fight and beat up ppl--I lost to some taller very talented girl-wah-wah, well, I was a big fussed up buff about it and after a long time of sitting and thinking...I began to regret it...God left me earlier when I quite church school from the stress my family gave me about bein' Catholic, but somethin' sparked there. I went back to the girl and her sister, both had won diffn't. divisons and I said sorry, shook their hands, and said congratulations...the weight was lifted, so powerful it was...my grandma had died in January of that year...I think she began her spark b/c it was her who told me about martial arts and life-Go to yer limits and do the best you can...I did that day...I said sorry(I think) and congratulated them...well, it wasn't over, coming around the end of ninth grade I had started goin' to punk martial arts in a dif. town for travlelin' reasons...same teacher...but I got sick of it b/c I couldn't actually fight and I began to realize it, I began to realize I needed work...so around Thanksgiving I began searching for answers...

Put it this way, I found another whole new martial arts school and now can fight pretty good. This school enforces Christianity and is truly home...yet again I believe my grandma helped me as w/o her I wouldn't of searched and wouldn't have found. I found God on that day of the tournament and I thank her tons. I still go through shit of bein' made fun of, did pretty bad this year even...my mom got a new job and had to take bus home, the kid I got furious at has a lil' bro who picked up on his ways, the kid himself has kept to himself pretty well on me b/s a few annoying words that are worth ignoring. I've fought them though spiritually instead of w/ rage, inside, knowing that Satan causes all this pain and Earth could possibly actually be a heaven if there was no Satan. Yes, shit happens and gotta leave w/ it and go on, I do w/ faith in the higher power I believe in, many others on here have found their way and I thank them for helping in this situation. Hopefully one day I can help by being a social worker. I still get very depressed at times, like over the summer it was bad b/c of some boy stuff ( :rolleyes: ) ...but I know who my friends are now and put myself to helpin' them more than worryin' about myself. Life is only a century at that and yes, it is worth living. I have great friends and an awesome family (my mom, sister, and even dad have all done things for me) in real life and now this board. Thanks everyone for what you've done here for this lost soul and what you've done for those who've read it. Peace,

;)

[creedsister]

Geesh That was a long post But the point came acrossed Very clear~~Crap Happens Life Goes On~~Its hard when you get kicked Around So Much And Im sure Geek 2004 Has got A lot prayer Going on for her rite Now And A lot of support I wish I had you fine people to chat with When i Was A cutter But Neverthless Crap Happens ;)

[Sincirr]

Anyone heard from GeeK2004 in the last 2 days or so? Is everything alright?

[creedsister]

Anyone heard from GeeK2004 in the last 2 days or so? Is everything alright? I HAVENT JUST KEEP HER IN YOUR STRONGLY IN YOUR PRAYERS OK :)

[JulieCitySlicker]

I'm sure Kim is doing alright, She is a strong girl :dancing:

[GeeK_2004]

I just want to tell you all that i`m ok...And I apperacaite all your prayers and/or thoughts and/or your storys that y'all had told here..

[JulieCitySlicker]

I'm glad that your doing alright Kim :hugs:
Hang in there girl, things will get better :)

[hayley]

Good on you, Kim. :hugs:

[Sheila63]

You're welcome, Kim.:) I'm happy to hear you're doing okay. Julie's right, things will and do get better.:hugs:

[archie bunker]

i kid in my school accedently cut part of his finger off

why did he cut himself, we will never know, probly because he wasnt looking at the safety rules
i agree with xterminator or maybe some people just like the pain!! :confused:

[creedlover16]

MY OPINION............I THINK PEOPLE CUT THEMSELVES FOR MANY REASONS. MAYBE THERE DEPRESSED, WANT ATTENTION, FOR FUN OR THEY THINK THEY HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE. WHAT DO U GUYS THINK? :confused:

[hayley]

For fun..wow their lives must be pretty sick if they like cutting themselves for fun :pukey:

[Sincirr]

Look back on the thread. There is plenty of info on that already posted.

[Sincirr]

And its good stuff too :)

[archie bunker]

seriously these people who do this needs someone to love them they have been hurt by people and they feel worthless an feel that noboby likes or loves them for the people who have done this know this is not true you are somebody and alot of people look forward to hear from you on here. :wiggle:

[creedsister]

seriously these people who do this needs someone to love them they have been hurt by people and they feel worthless an feel that noboby likes or loves them for the people who have done this know this is not true you are somebody and alot of people look forward to hear from you on here. :wiggle: awww tell me about it i know you love me :wub:

[archie bunker]

awww tell me about it i know you love me :wub:
me loves you sis :) :drunk2:

[creedsister]

me loves you sis :) :drunk2:awww thank you i feel the love

[MrSeeker]

I love you all! Hooray!
:D

[creedsister]

I love you all! Hooray! :chair: :chair: :DGuess what me 2 hahaha

[hayley]

Feel the love

[GeeK_2004]

G2004, most the time, bullies are jealous of the victim, remember that. Once you get OUT of school, you realize that. Stand tall and proud. You do have all of us here to vent to. Obviously, there's many that care about you at this place. Is there a counselor at school? Are you hooked up with a church at all? I'm not going all holy roller on ya, but sometimes there's youth groups there. Don't let the bullies win, which if you hurt yourself or get upset, is what you're doing! Stick with us, at the least. What else can we do?
I came back and started to read this thread thingy again...


ok you said that bullies are just jealous ....


the things is ....


ok...

when I was a kid, I would always get ear infetions...and THAT effected my speech...and lucky me ....talks funny...I say my R's, SH, CH, funny...

whenever I got to seventh grade ....the bullies started coming to me and bulling me ....b.c of the way I look ( I was a big person then and still am....) or the way I dress.....anything and everything about me got made fun of...

now...the thing is .....why would they be jealous of me ...


:dunno::dunno::dunno:

[Lechium]

Different people express themselves differently.
Just because you do not practice this form of self expression doesnt nesseccery make it a "wrong" one, now does it?

[Sincirr]

Different people express themselves differently.
Just because you do not practice this form of self expression doesnt nesseccery make it a "wrong" one, now does it?
What the???
Are U talkin about cutting yourself or bullying there Lech?

[Lechium]

What the???
Are U talkin about cutting yourself or bullying there Lech?
I read only first page, so it's cutting yourself.

Bullying is dumb, but builds charcter of ones who are being bullied and makes them learn to stand up for themselves. Been there, dont that. Still wount wish it on others.

[TeriB19]

ok you said that bullies are just jealous ....
now...the thing is .....why would they be jealous of me ...

Kim, the thing about bullies is they don't feel good about themselves. They pick on others to make themselves feel better about themselves. The worse they make YOU feel, the better they feel. I know it's not much help, but try to realize it's their self-esteem issue that causes them to harass you.

And Leech, why not go back and read a little more than the first page. If you did, you'd see she's not judging, just seeking information.

[creedsister]

Different people express themselves differently.
Just because you do not practice this form of self expression doesnt nesseccery make it a "wrong" one, now does it? Sweet jesus Its Wrong

[Lechium]

Sweet jesus Its Wrong
Why is thinking that it is everyone's right to cut themselves is wrong?

[crest tattoo]

Kim, I know you have some qualities that someone would be envious of. You are a unique girl. I'm proud of you for making plans for your future to allow yourself to live a better lifestyle.
If this isn't the case of them being jealous, I think Teri hit it on the head. For some reason, bullies look better to their friends when they put others down. They have very cold hearts. I know it won't make you feel much better, but when they get older, I would guarantee they look back and regret it. Are they picking on you again?
I'm worried about you still/again. You know how to get ahold of me if you need to. School is almost over. You can get through this. Keep talking to all of us!

[GeeK_2004]

Kim, I know you have some qualities that someone would be envious of. You are a unique girl. I'm proud of you for making plans for your future to allow yourself to live a better lifestyle.
If this isn't the case of them being jealous, I think Teri hit it on the head. For some reason, bullies look better to their friends when they put others down. They have very cold hearts. I know it won't make you feel much better, but when they get older, I would guarantee they look back and regret it. Are they picking on you again?
I'm worried about you still/again. You know how to get ahold of me if you need to. School is almost over. You can get through this. Keep talking to all of us!
...what if I cant make it through...

:dunno::dunno::dunno:

[GeeK_2004]

its just that i`ve been thinkin about a lot of things lately....

[GeeK_2004]

Kim, the thing about bullies is they don't feel good about themselves. They pick on others to make themselves feel better about themselves. The worse they make YOU feel, the better they feel. I know it's not much help, but try to realize it's their self-esteem issue that causes them to harass you.

And Leech, why not go back and read a little more than the first page. If you did, you'd see she's not judging, just seeking information.
and btw....

I have low self-esteem to begin with...

[GeeK_2004]

things after High School get way way better!!!!! ......


God...I sure do hope so !!!


:( :( :(

[crest tattoo]

You CAN make it Kim! You've made it so far. What are the things that are bothering you the most?

[Julbright]

I would say that bullying is not really about jealousy - it is about the bully feeling badly about him/herself and finding someone else to project those feelings onto. They make fun of others to make themselves feel better and superior. You need to just be confident and not let it get to you - they will continue for sure if they know it gets you down. High school is SO different than life after high school - please hang in there

[Sheila63]

its just that i`ve been thinkin about a lot of things lately....

Kim, I know you can make it. I was picked on, made fun of and had no self-esteem to speak of when I was your age. I also want to share that like you, I had a difficult time with certain letters or combinations of letters myself when I was younger and had a speech therapist help me out. So although I don't know exactly how you feel or what you're going through, I do have some idea. Marlsy is right, life does get better after high school.

We're here for you, Kim.:hugs: Please feel free to pm me at any time, okay?

[creedsister]

[QUOTE=GeeK_2004]and btw....

I have low self-esteem to begin with...Not a shocker everybody has one somewere no matter what they say but i will say these guys are cowards thats how they deal with there low self esteem, My advice take karate And kick there little coward Butts I would love to do it for ya, Feel free to pm me Sweetie :jam: :jam: :jam: :jam:

[Lechium]

self esteem is a bullshit word that exists only in US. forget it.
you feel inferior to some people cuz they're better looking/more popular?
well dont, cuz if you do its a downward spiral. motivation, and such is usless, just go out and do what will make you happier.
want more friends? go out and make them, cuz otherwise you never will get them.
someone is bugging you? deal with then, cuz they wount stop by themselves anytime soon.

basically: got problems? suck it up, and deal with them. no other options. when you do, than this mystical 'self esteem' will appear, but not until than.

[TeriB19]

You sure you're not voting Republican? With that warm fuzzy bedside manner you have, you'll go really far.

Kim, ignore him.

[Lechium]

You sure you're not voting Republican? With that warm fuzzy bedside manner you have, you'll go really far.

Kim, ignore him.
a) I cant vote (not a citizen). If i could, i wouldnt vote this election for the lack of good candidates.

b) Actually I have her a good advice. Yeah its straighforward, but its true. If she folows it, her life WILL become better. All there is to it.

[creedsister]

and btw....

I have low self-esteem to begin with... Hey Geek Love your signature love that song too, It Rocks!!! ;) Whooooooooooooo :hugs:

[creedsister]

self esteem is a bullshit word that exists only in US. forget it.
you feel inferior to some people cuz they're better looking/more popular?
well dont, cuz if you do its a downward spiral. motivation, and such is usless, just go out and do what will make you happier.
want more friends? go out and make them, cuz otherwise you never will get them.
someone is bugging you? deal with then, cuz they wount stop by themselves anytime soon.

basically: got problems? suck it up, and deal with them. no other options. when you do, than this mystical 'self esteem' will appear, but not until than. thats all good your saying go out and do what will make you happier yes thats all good to but what comes easy for some is not as easy for others sometimes we would like todo all of those things but sometimes we dont have a choice for whatever reasons,,the best advice at this point i can give to ya geek Is you never get so down you cant can up and you never get to high were you cant come down and i also believe that everything happens in life good or bad it happens for a reason life is made of both, and the only way we can understand all of it is when we call out to are saviour JESUS CHRIST, for he is the truth the way in the Light,, And GEEK 2004, ROCK ON GAL B/c YOUR ALLRIGHT

[GeeK_2004]

self esteem is a bullshit word that exists only in US. forget it.
you feel inferior to some people cuz they're better looking/more popular?
well dont, cuz if you do its a downward spiral. motivation, and such is usless, just go out and do what will make you happier.
want more friends? go out and make them, cuz otherwise you never will get them.
someone is bugging you? deal with then, cuz they wount stop by themselves anytime soon.

basically: got problems? suck it up, and deal with them. no other options. when you do, than this mystical 'self esteem' will appear, but not until than.




what a nice comment you made there !!


you should get an award for that !!!


:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Trees of Wisdom]

People who cut themselves do it for many reasons. They're depressed, problems at home, low self-esteem, etc. People who cut themselves have their reasons. It's really sad, but some people out there have some serious issues.

[Lechium]

People who cut themselves do it for many reasons. They're depressed, problems at home, low self-esteem, etc. People who cut themselves have their reasons. It's really sad, but some people out there have some serious issues.
Nice? Who cares about nice? It's honest and (depending on her actions) helpful.

[TeriB19]

The many people who post here care about nice. We try to be nice to each other, make each other feel better about themselves. Unlike you, who only cares to tear down and degrade others.

[Lechium]

The many people who post here care about nice. We try to be nice to each other, make each other feel better about themselves. Unlike you, who only cares to tear down and degrade others.
when people need help, I think is best to offer good avice, rather than hugs and pity that doesnt do anything really.

[Trees of Wisdom]

Nice? Who cares about nice? It's honest and (depending on her actions) helpful.

I think you quoted the wrong person.

[Trees of Wisdom]

when people need help, I think is best to offer good avice, rather than hugs and pity that doesnt do anything really.

That's true. Either help them or not help them at all.

[GeeK_2004]

That's true. Either help them or not help them at all.


:clap: :clap: :clap:

[TeriB19]

when people need help, I think is best to offer good avice, rather than hugs and pity that doesnt do anything really.
Then offer good advice. But 'suck it up' or 'go find friends' isn't the best advice.

[Lechium]

Then offer good advice. But 'suck it up' or 'go find friends' isn't the best advice.
actually it is.
if you lack friends... you know solution to your problem IS getting friends.
if you're being bullied... you know you gotta stand up for yourself (more friends you make, easier it is).
that's not easy, but that has to be done, and only way to do it, is by trying repetedly.

[Trees of Wisdom]

actually it is.
if you lack friends... you know solution to your problem IS getting friends.
if you're being bullied... you know you gotta stand up for yourself (more friends you make, easier it is).
that's not easy, but that has to be done, and only way to do it, is by trying repetedly.

No wonder they're suicidal. :rolleyes:

[Leah]

People that cut themselves have a lot of hurt and a lot of anger they don't know how to deal with. The hurt and the anger may mask itself in depression. When a person cuts themselves it is a release for some of that emotion.

[creedsister]

its not anger but thats one way of describing it its more of outlet when there is nothing left to grasp and no one hears the rage of heared emotions on the inside ya gotta have something to deal It Is Also Way Of Breathing For Some Its Not Really A Sucidal Thing But A Grasp Thing To keep from doing something Worse So As Most Cutters or whatever it is labeled Its something that cant be described but ya gotta let out

[Anna1011]

bin there done that and im not proud of it, its a place i dont want to go back to.

[GeeK_2004]

Wed. I finally went to a docter for/about my depression. He had gave me some samples ( I think its Lexapro) and told me to come back in 10 days. I had told him that I cut my self.

[Dogstar]

Geek, good for you for getting help. I hope you are on the mend soon.

[JulieCitySlicker]

Kim,
I hope that your able to get the help that you need :hugs: I wish you the best girl!

[Sincirr]

Wed. I finally went to a docter for/about my depression. He had gave me some samples ( I think its Lexapro) and told me to come back in 10 days. I had told him that I cut my self.
Youve probably gone back to the doctor by now. How did it go? How was the medication for you?

[nagpo]

they r emos. emo=idiot FACT. being emo is just a teenage fad.

[JulieCitySlicker]

^so stereotypical:rolleyes: Not all people that cut themselves are emo!

[nagpo]

^so stereotypical:rolleyes: Not all people that cut themselves are emo!
whatever. emos are still idiots.

[JulieCitySlicker]

Maybe so,but I don't know any so I'm not going judge:D

[Dogstar]

they r emos. emo=idiot FACT. being emo is just a teenage fad.
Do you EVER have anything worthwhile to contribute? I have yet to see it.

[Rocketqueen]

whatever. emos are still idiots.
im not trying to be a smart ass or sarcastic im just really stupid What Are emos ?

[JulieCitySlicker]

Ditto Kerri;)

[nagpo]

Do you EVER have anything worthwhile to contribute? I have yet to see it.
i do sometimes.

[nagpo]

im not trying to be a smart ass or sarcastic im just really stupid What Are emos ?
they r kids that where tight pants and cut themselves.

[eusebioCBR]

My sister did that for while when she was 14. I got the impression it had somthing to do with self loathing.

[Anna1011]

just because someone cuts themself doesnt make them emo. ive been there and i deff aint emo!!

i have yet to meet a real emo kid, the ones ive met are all wannabes.

[nagpo]

just because someone cuts themself doesnt make them emo. ive been there and i deff aint emo!!

i have yet to meet a real emo kid, the ones ive met are all wannabes.
yeah, somebody already told me that...

[Steve]

seriously nagpo, you bring up a serious topic from several months ago and all you can do is provide insults and stereotypes? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. This is going to be your final warning. I think you've received a warning before. Next time you'll be banned from the forums.

[nagpo]

seriously nagpo, you bring up a serious topic from several months ago and all you can do is provide insults and stereotypes? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. This is going to be your final warning. I think you've received a warning before. Next time you'll be banned from the forums.
:jerk:, :rolleyes:

[Dogstar]

:jerk:, :rolleyes:
Um, Steve is the admin of this site. Show some respect. One more of those, and I'll ban you myself.

[nagpo]

Um, Steve is the admin of this site. Show some respect. One more of those, and I'll ban you myself.
OK:thumbsup:

[Rocketqueen]

Um, Steve is the admin of this site. Show some respect. One more of those, and I'll ban you myself.
No Doggy we can give him a chance to be good :) just a trial and then if he does it again then you can ban his ass

[Rocketqueen]

they r kids that where tight pants and cut themselves.
thanks tight pants i dont understand this group would this be the group who does it b/c they think really sick twisted people with real probleams are cool so they wanna do it too

[Anna1011]

i see emos as a mixture if different things, cause they wear the black like goths and the tight jeans like punks used to and well id go on but i cant remember the rest lol ive slept since i last thought of this ahahaha.

[GoodGodGirl23]

I have a relative that used to cut themselves when they were really depressed..:(

[crest tattoo]

I did it in my teens, sorry to admit it. It was before it was in the news and all. It was a way to work the inside pain and bring it out for me. Glad those days are gone!

[facelessmike]

I was in prolonged state of severe pain and depression. But, I think my extreme phobia of needles and sharp objects may have prevented me from doing anything like this thank God.

[GoodGodGirl23]

thanks tight pants i dont understand this group would this be the group who does it b/c they think really sick twisted people with real probleams are cool so they wanna do it too
my relative was neither sick or twisted, just really depressed, was only 13

[crest tattoo]

Julbright (stapphappy), insight? I know you've talked about this before. Why do people do it?

[Dogstar]

One of my nieces did it for a while, too. :(

[bilal]

I did it in my teens, sorry to admit it. It was before it was in the news and all. It was a way to work the inside pain and bring it out for me. Glad those days are gone!


wow...........damn........... hey man.......... did it work then.........i mean did it help at that time??? ..............

i myself beleive that a person shud get some physical pain from time to time as it helps em to understand the pain of others................ i mean............i was more receptive to the images of people shown all wounded up in news and all when i myself had a little operation on heel of my foot............ but for that .... cutting ur self............dats groos

[Anna1011]

i did it to relieve all my pain and anger, mainly cause i hated myself. ive now grown to accept myself and its been a while since i did it.

[bilal]

damn...........this thread is goin way over my head.............

[crest tattoo]

Bilal, I'm a she. he he.
It helped when I was in the moment. I really can't believe I did that to be honest, nor can I believe I have admitted it. I had a guy take extreme advantage of me when I was 17, and I didn't realize what was going on in my head at all, but I knew I was messed up. So I took that emotional pain, and I turned it into physical to try to get rid of the emotional. That's the only way I can describe it. Again, it was a long time ago, and those thoughts haven't crossed my mind in years. I worked through it and can talk about it because it's long over now. I tell you all this so you can try to understand someone who does it. It's not an excuse, nor do I think it's acceptable behavior. Very weird for me to look back at that!

[bilal]

Bilal, I'm a she. he he.
It helped when I was in the moment. I really can't believe I did that to be honest, nor can I believe I have admitted it. I had a guy take extreme advantage of me when I was 17, and I didn't realize what was going on in my head at all, but I knew I was messed up. So I took that emotional pain, and I turned it into physical to try to get rid of the emotional. That's the only way I can describe it. Again, it was a long time ago, and those thoughts haven't crossed my mind in years. I worked through it and can talk about it because it's long over now. I tell you all this so you can try to understand someone who does it. It's not an excuse, nor do I think it's acceptable behavior. Very weird for me to look back at that!


welll.....its good that u turned that harsh experince into knowledge and learned from it.......u know...stuff like that.........and the way u talked about it.........i am sure ur well over it............hmm............ i wont say that i havent had any emotional pain myself......... but i guess i have just realised that why i have been so quite all this time..........i mean i have been a quite person for most of my childhood days............. till got rescued by some very good dear friends........... may be that was becuse of some pain or emotional disrest........... may be all of us go thorugh it at some specific age or time.......may be some people react by starting shooting in a mall.....some cut themselves......... some do otehr shit.......like the way i became so quite during my childhood...............may be its built in human nature........damn!!!

[crest tattoo]

Plus, I think at 17, you don't know how to deal. I blamed myself for what happened at that time, so I was afraid to tell my parents. Since then, I've gone through counseling and have, by God's grace, forgiven the man. I know enough to warn my own children how to avoid those circumstances in their lives. Fortunately, and sometimes unfortunately, it's made me the person I am today, strong and focused.

[Anna1011]

For me keeping all my thoughts and feelings inside and not talking to people about things made me worse.
Since then ive found my best friend and hes someone i can talk to everything about, its seriously helped me through things. I now feel I can talk bout things with people more.
Also bad experiences with friends in the past has left me feeling like i cant trust anyone, i find it extremely hard to make friends.
Theres still things i dont talk to people about cause its too hard but im sure one day ill be ready.
Now a days im happier with myself, i dont get depressed as often, all in all im a happier person.

[bilal]

u knw what........... we all need to share our thoughts with someone else.....we all need good freinds......... idont believe any one can be saine and survie in isolation............... maybe people do get deppresed when all teir thoughts arre left inside.................. good friends worth more than anything else!