A Troubled Past

[Faceless Man 93]

I know that I've been a member of these boards for some time now, and I realize that it may be silly or pointless of me to bring this up, but I feel it is my duty as a fellow Creedfeed community member to be completely straight with you all.

This is not the first forum that I've been apart of. In 2008 I was a member of a message board dedicaded to the Saw movie franchise and after only two months there, there was a particular group of users on those forums that wanted to see me suffer. I was close friends with a woman from Germany while I was there (the forum was called the House of Jigsaw for those who are wondering) but the users started harrasing me. I know I've explained this, in brief, to TrulyAmazing but I was wondering what the girl I was talking with looked like and they kept bashing me, labeling me a "stalker" and other staements. In light of being lashed out at and due to the state of my mentality at the time, I freaked out and was kicked from the site and, in real life, was sent to a mental hospital for wanting to commit suicide (all because of the incident described above and also my coward of a father isn't in my life).

This situation and other aspects of who I am can be seen in the Youtube video Derek Baldwin To Whom It May Concern.

I'm proud to say that my life has literally come full circle in the last year (I was hospitalized in October 2009), I'm more geared spiritually and mentally now. I apologize for babbling on and on about my past, I know it doesn't matter much.

[nagpo]

Okay...

I'm only going to say one thing and it's about the video. The music makes the video scary.


That is all.

[bilal]

It not easy being on one's own. You're the man!

[nagpo]

Also bro, don't get nervous around the womens. Once you realize that they're humans to and also feel insecure it's easier to talk to them. Approach them with a relatable subject.

[bilal]

Quote: (Originally Posted by nagpo)

Also bro, don't get nervous around the womens. Once you realize that they're humans to and also feel insecure it's easier to talk to them. Approach them with a relatable subject.

Hmm... I think I can use that advice too. Thanks.

[adparaiki]

I know it's not the same, I had a friend who became mentally unwell due to bullying etc. I know how difficult time he had and how impossible it was to go back to "normal".

So welldone myfriend for getting over it all. I am sure it wasn't easy.

Much respect

Adam x

[TrulyAmazing]

Quote: (Originally Posted by bilal)

Hmm... I think I can use that advice too. Thanks.

use the Chrissy H. Method, ya,s knows whatch ya our, so speciale....peace be with us, ok lets see face, you were with a chick from germany...not calmed natured chicks at all, and you were on a saw web site, and you claim they wanted to make you suffer, however i find that not shocking, indeed, there be a lot of bloody nutcases out there, where just like in the movies its real, so my best advice to you, would be to stay away from THE HORROR division, none likes any one ... i dont like anyone harrsed, most of us a long history and enstranged oprah with our earthley fathers, my self included indeed, i see him more as a broken brother than a father, i only have ONE FATHER, That I Anwser to, so laidy it be no surprise that we have strange realationships with our fathers, there be no need to apolagize, i myself ramble at times like a drunk prom date, but i,ve had to learn from that, it sounds like this siuatioun has made you stronger indeed, our trials and strange encounters bring the assemblege closer, and some that seem to be stronger than you, or at times clueless as you are, but you must be strong, there be many spammers, on the internet, lovey, just be yourself, and be strong and the rest will fall into place, and bold you would be surprised at the out come, good relationships are made from enduring based on the relationship we have, AS ONE, we have with our heavenly father, I wish Ya,s the best, Peace be with us in jesus name.....and stay away from clive barker, fan club, For The Love Thats All Is good, some lines should,nt be crossed, i dont know how ya ended up over there, its a mystery to old truly now.....no more lashing out just stay focused, love ya...... , I Highly Recomend To all, THE HISTORY CHANNEL WEB SITE, on their bibicle topics, very intersting from the Horror scene, and uplifting, check it out, in your spare time, and invite your friends and girl,

[Faceless Man 93]

Quote: (Originally Posted by TrulyAmazing)

use the Chrissy H. Method, ya,s knows whatch ya our, so speciale....peace be with us, ok lets see face, you were with a chick from germany...not calmed natured chicks at all, and you were on a saw web site, and you claim they wanted to make you suffer, however i find that not shocking, indeed, there be a lot of bloody nutcases out there, where just like in the movies its real, so my best advice to you, would be to stay away from THE HORROR division, none likes any one ... i dont like anyone harrsed, most of us a long history and enstranged oprah with our earthley fathers, my self included indeed, i see him more as a broken brother than a father, i only have ONE FATHER, That I Anwser to, so laidy it be no surprise that we have strange realationships with our fathers, there be no need to apolagize, i myself ramble at times like a drunk prom date, but i,ve had to learn from that, it sounds like this siuatioun has made you stronger indeed, our trials and strange encounters bring the assemblege closer, and some that seem to be stronger than you, or at times clueless as you are, but you must be strong, there be many spammers, on the internet, lovey, just be yourself, and be strong and the rest will fall into place, and bold you would be surprised at the out come, good relationships are made from enduring based on the relationship we have, AS ONE, we have with our heavenly father, I wish Ya,s the best, Peace be with us in jesus name.....and stay away from clive barker, fan club, For The Love Thats All Is good, some lines should,nt be crossed, i dont know how ya ended up over there, its a mystery to old truly now.....no more lashing out just stay focused, love ya...... , I Highly Recomend To all, THE HISTORY CHANNEL WEB SITE, on their bibicle topics, very intersting from the Horror scene, and uplifting, check it out, in your spare time, and invite your friends and girl,

Well my friend, to give you all further backstory from the video, I met the German girl, whose name is Nina-Isabel, on another site called fanfiction.net (I am the writer on that site called FRARLESS MASTER) but anyhow, I mmet her by chance in 2007. We started messaging each other and after a year and a half of us chatting she comes forth with the invite to the HOJ forums. I was, and still am at least as far as characters go, very loyal to the SAW series at the time so I took her invite and what ouccured soon after.

Afetr that day, and my dismissal from the boards, I got back in contact with ol Nina and she rejoiced for the fact that I was okaay. I haven't spoken to her through that site since Feb of 2010 but we're trying to connect again through Facebook, though I found out something that I hadn't realized. You see, she was in a relationship with an abuser in my time on HOJ, and everyday she would cry to me about how her face was all cut and bruised, this happened on a daily basis. Then her last message to me on that site was a single picture, of her bloody wrists against a broken mirror the word "Wish you were here to help" were smeared across the cracks in the glass. I realized then and there that I'd done evrything I could to save her from herself but sadly she wasn't taking my help.

I really wore my heart on my sleeve for her and, as nagpo can tell you from seeing the vid, I've been hurt many times since then. Presently I thank the good Lord above for people like TrulyAmazing and my real life friends Brianna and Michael, these people weren't afraid to step up and care about me. Thanks guys from the very depths of my soul.

I'm planning to film an update tomorrow and post it to YOutube sometime this week. BTW Nina my sweet, if you by chance read this, please know that I don't blame you at all for what happened. I blame myself for not being strong enough to see that those people don't mean a thing. Hope you're doing well and I hope you and Lauren (that;s right, Nina's in a relationship with another woman presently) are happy. BLESSINGS AND STRENGTH BEYOND STRENGTH!

[TrulyAmazing]

Quote: (Originally Posted by Faceless Man 93)

Well my friend, to give you all further backstory from the video, I met the German girl, whose name is Nina-Isabel, on another site called fanfiction.net (I am the writer on that site called FRARLESS MASTER) but anyhow, I mmet her by chance in 2007. We started messaging each other and after a year and a half of us chatting she comes forth with the invite to the HOJ forums. I was, and still am at least as far as characters go, very loyal to the SAW series at the time so I took her invite and what ouccured soon after.

Afetr that day, and my dismissal from the boards, I got back in contact with ol Nina and she rejoiced for the fact that I was okaay. I haven't spoken to her through that site since Feb of 2010 but we're trying to connect again through Facebook, though I found out something that I hadn't realized. You see, she was in a relationship with an abuser in my time on HOJ, and everyday she would cry to me about how her face was all cut and bruised, this happened on a daily basis. Then her last message to me on that site was a single picture, of her bloody wrists against a broken mirror the word "Wish you were here to help" were smeared across the cracks in the glass. I realized then and there that I'd done evrything I could to save her from herself but sadly she wasn't taking my help.

I really wore my heart on my sleeve for her and, as nagpo can tell you from seeing the vid, I've been hurt many times since then. Presently I thank the good Lord above for people like TrulyAmazing and my real life friends Brianna and Michael, these people weren't afraid to step up and care about me. Thanks guys from the very depths of my soul.

I'm planning to film an update tomorrow and post it to YOutube sometime this week. BTW Nina my sweet, if you by chance read this, please know that I don't blame you at all for what happened. I blame myself for not being strong enough to see that those people don't mean a thing. Hope you're doing well and I hope you and Lauren (that;s right, Nina's in a relationship with another woman presently) are happy. BLESSINGS AND STRENGTH BEYOND STRENGTH!

Your Welcome, brother Peace Be With You In Jesus Mighty Name, i pray for your strengeth always, ....... make sures you prayed up, before helping others my friend, STRENGETH BEYOND STRENGETH, And Blessings,

[bilal]

Quote: (Originally Posted by Faceless Man 93)

Well my friend, to give you all further backstory from the video, I met the German girl, whose name is Nina-Isabel, on another site called fanfiction.net (I am the writer on that site called FRARLESS MASTER) but anyhow, I mmet her by chance in 2007. We started messaging each other and after a year and a half of us chatting she comes forth with the invite to the HOJ forums. I was, and still am at least as far as characters go, very loyal to the SAW series at the time so I took her invite and what ouccured soon after.

Afetr that day, and my dismissal from the boards, I got back in contact with ol Nina and she rejoiced for the fact that I was okaay. I haven't spoken to her through that site since Feb of 2010 but we're trying to connect again through Facebook, though I found out something that I hadn't realized. You see, she was in a relationship with an abuser in my time on HOJ, and everyday she would cry to me about how her face was all cut and bruised, this happened on a daily basis. Then her last message to me on that site was a single picture, of her bloody wrists against a broken mirror the word "Wish you were here to help" were smeared across the cracks in the glass. I realized then and there that I'd done evrything I could to save her from herself but sadly she wasn't taking my help.

I really wore my heart on my sleeve for her and, as nagpo can tell you from seeing the vid, I've been hurt many times since then. Presently I thank the good Lord above for people like TrulyAmazing and my real life friends Brianna and Michael, these people weren't afraid to step up and care about me. Thanks guys from the very depths of my soul.

I'm planning to film an update tomorrow and post it to YOutube sometime this week. BTW Nina my sweet, if you by chance read this, please know that I don't blame you at all for what happened. I blame myself for not being strong enough to see that those people don't mean a thing. Hope you're doing well and I hope you and Lauren (that;s right, Nina's in a relationship with another woman presently) are happy. BLESSINGS AND STRENGTH BEYOND STRENGTH!

At times you don't get back what you offer to others. But that's alright. You got to believe in the goodness. I am glad you are sharing all this with us. Man, we could have been good friends.

[TrulyAmazing]

Quote: (Originally Posted by bilal)

At times you don't get back what you offer to others. But that's alright. You got to believe in the goodness. I am glad you are sharing all this with us. Man, we could have been good friends.

Love Ya Skittles, Love Ya Faceless, i got 15 minutes, some boundries which are crossed between realtiy and all sorts of other stuff, can be a test for us, and some things surley bringeth up scars from the past, to work are nerves which in this case would be faceless93 Issuie SO WE MUST RECONIZE ya,alls When We Our Be Tempting The Goal Is To Stay Focused, IM A BIG HORROR FAN, And Clive Barker Is One Of My Favorite Horror Directors, but there are those out their that misplace art for realtiy due to things they cant fight as well as others, and furthermore, ON THE INTERNET, You dont know what creatures your talking to, Brother, I PROMISE ya, IT WAS,nt Me, i dont have time for such things, Im Like Mama, When it comes to saftey, Wakey Wakey....peace be with ya,s in jesus name, ........

[VJ Raven]

Facelessman, thank you for sharing this with the rest of us. Big HUGS!!!

It shows just how bullying online IS real and how people who are bullied can be affected by it. I've heard of people actually committing suicide because of online bullying, as some people do because of bullying in offline life.

What happened to you is not silly or pointless. It was very real and probably terrifying to you.

I'm so sorry that it happened. Things like this should not happen at all, but unfortunately they do... And a lot of the time, the bullies get away with it. (Not referring to this site at all, I am talking about other sites) It seems that a lot of the bullies out there are either friends/family of the site mods, etc in a lot of cases, so they do what they wish and not pay a single penalty for it... While the person being terrorized is the one who pays the price and generally is the one who winds up getting banned or deleted from said site.

I've been bullied online also... All I am saying here is that things got so nasty that this person threatened my freedom, threatened my friends, my son and a lot of other stuff, even my life was threatened. (If anyone wants the full story, message me and I'll send along links, etc)

I do admire you a lot and wish the best for you in the future. I hope your friend does find peace and does find her way out of the dark tunnel.

Love, light and peace be with you.

[TrulyAmazing]

da goodness, PEACE BE WITH YA IN JESUS NAME, i,d rather if i have a probleam wits someones ya,alls, i,ll waits for outsides till longs after closing time, however the internet is a place of peace to some, take it easy, balance stabilty,

[Faceless Man 93]

Quote: (Originally Posted by VJ Raven)

Facelessman, thank you for sharing this with the rest of us. Big HUGS!!!

It shows just how bullying online IS real and how people who are bullied can be affected by it. I've heard of people actually committing suicide because of online bullying, as some people do because of bullying in offline life.

What happened to you is not silly or pointless. It was very real and probably terrifying to you.

I'm so sorry that it happened. Things like this should not happen at all, but unfortunately they do... And a lot of the time, the bullies get away with it. (Not referring to this site at all, I am talking about other sites) It seems that a lot of the bullies out there are either friends/family of the site mods, etc in a lot of cases, so they do what they wish and not pay a single penalty for it... While the person being terrorized is the one who pays the price and generally is the one who winds up getting banned or deleted from said site.

I've been bullied online also... All I am saying here is that things got so nasty that this person threatened my freedom, threatened my friends, my son and a lot of other stuff, even my life was threatened. (If anyone wants the full story, message me and I'll send along links, etc)

I do admire you a lot and wish the best for you in the future. I hope your friend does find peace and does find her way out of the dark tunnel.

Love, light and peace be with you.

Thanks ever so much for your nice words... I tried to upload an update today but sadly the format in which the vid is in isn't compatible with Youtube.

But honestly, to you epecially but to everyone here, I've grown to love you all in a brotherly sort of way. Nice to know I'm home

[TrulyAmazing]

Quote: (Originally Posted by Faceless Man 93)

Thanks ever so much for your nice words... I tried to upload an update today but sadly the format in which the vid is in isn't compatible with Youtube.

But honestly, to you epecially but to everyone here, I've grown to love you all in a brotherly sort of way. Nice to know I'm home

That Is Sad, you could,nt do that, however i believe feel relieved that its fine, to feed your need for horror cravings, Put In A Dvd And Pop Corn, And Whatch The Ring, , Trulys A Praying For Ya, stay balanced and focused, and becarefull of those boundries ya,alls between reality and fiction and spitrual awakings lord knows ya,all when theys collides to a person clueless or still going through ptreseverance your testiomony face, is the results, so may many OVERCOME FROM YOUR TESTIMONY, its a shame that things like this do happen, but it does, as far as the folks they scared ya up, stays out they woods, till one grows into things, peace be with you in jesus mighty name, POWER BE With The First COL if i see ya back over there young man, no desert for you