Please give feedback on live recording
 

Hi I have recorded a live version of a song I wrote.
And am just looking for feedback please.

The song is here: http://www.totallyunsigned.co.uk/members/1902/index.php
I played the guitar and sang.

The Song is called ROOM TO BREATHE.
I am going to get a better recording in the next few months.

I haven't quite finished the lyrics which is why both of the versus are the same.

The lyrics are:

Verse 1 & 2 (for the moment)

Your eyes follow me,
Please let me be I can't breathe
You're watching at my every move
Smothering me.
Judging, watching, waiting, ready to control
Do you think i've no mind of my own.

Chorus:
You need to let me go
Because I need room to breathe
And i'll make up my own mind
I'll my own wrongs and rights.

Other Section:
All I ever wanted is you to believe me
I need room to breathe.
All I ever wanted is you to believe me.


Thanks for your time

Re: Please give feedback on live recording
 

well written indeed, your eyes follow me please let me be, i can,nt breathe your whatching my every move, smothering me judging whatching waiting ready to take control, do you think i have no mind of my own....bodly written well done... randomly it reminds me of the police hit, and bobby browns every little step i take :roll: somebody should have been whatching him ....when you get the rest of the lyrics just post,em up Rock On....

Re: Please give feedback on live recording
 

Aw thanks, I really appreciate your feedback on this post and many others.
What did u think of the actual song? i know it wasn't recorded that well

Re: Please give feedback on live recording
 

well to be hontest, i have busted speakers and my friend bilal knows im in need of a serious up grade, so i dont hear a damn thing but i try on the second pc to get to some of the links you,s post when time permits which is rare, your welcome :rockon: reminds me of my recent brain storm i need a vacation :laugh: .....but no time soon PEACE BE WITH YA, :hugs: i,ll post it up when that rare time permits :laugh: i brought up my math score to ya,alls how about that 20 points since march :laugh: considering i think thats pretty good, do post the rest of the lyrics when your ready :) of course

Re: Please give feedback on live recording
 

Your voice is kinda hard to hear and sometimes off key. The beginning of the song is to long and the song doesn't feel like it goes anywhere. The bridge doesn't feel like a bridge, if you know what I mean.

Those are my main criticisms. I think the song has a lot of potential actually. The song reminds me of Collective Soul. Keep us updated bro.

Re: Please give feedback on live recording
 

Thanks I really appreciate your comments, to be honest when we recorded that I couldn't hear myself at all lol and yeah I know I could have done better and went of key a few times. I know what you mean about the bridge thanks. It doesn't really change from the rest of the song does it and i think you're right i need to work on that.

I thnk aswell to shorten the beginning the verse could just star instead of being played through once with no voice. But yh i thought aswell the whole song goes on a bit too long.

Thanks bro you're feedback has been really useful to me.:smokin:

Re: Please give feedback on live recording
 

I actually envy you. I wish I was in a band making music.

Re: Please give feedback on live recording
 

I liked your lyrics you have wrote mate. Just write your own songs and then put a band together. It's definately my favourite hobby, wish it could be more really I do.

Re: Please give feedback on live recording
 

Thanks I definitely will try. :)

Re: Please give feedback on live recording
 

:) :thumbsup: im a thinking im a thinking, let me sleep on it....hard to say what instruments on the inside of the song locked inside, is trying to make, or wanting you to hear....i feel endless possabilties, for now sing as is.....take care of our throats and voices...and dont abuse theme, by trying to throw, theme out of range, because they so beautiful....:rockon: