hayley
09-26-2002, 08:35 PM
i just found this lying on the ground next to my computer, and found it quite funny...read along if you wanna.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4.Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomatoe.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch ur food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting ur hair.
7. Don't wear polka dot undies under white shorts.
8. The best place to go when your'e said is ur Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTH'S ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1. Raising teenagers is like pinning jelly to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge...sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Todays mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground.
5. Laughing is good exersice...It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose ur cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives i can get.
3. When you fall down, u wonder what else you can do while ur down there.
4. Your'e getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair u once got from a roller coaster.
5. It's frustrating when u know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer but it's a lousy beautician.
7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1. you believe in Santa Claus
2. you don't believe in Santa Claus
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus
SUCCESS:
At the age of 4 success is...not peeing ur pants
At the age of 12 success is...having friends
At the age of 17 success is...having a drivers licence.
At the age of 20 success is...having sex.
At the age of 35 success is...having money.
At the age of 50 success is...having money.
At the age of 60 success is...having sex.
At the age of 70 success is....having a drivers licence.
At the age of 75 success is...having friends.
At the age of 80 succes is...not peeing ur pants.
:D
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4.Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomatoe.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch ur food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting ur hair.
7. Don't wear polka dot undies under white shorts.
8. The best place to go when your'e said is ur Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTH'S ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1. Raising teenagers is like pinning jelly to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge...sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Todays mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground.
5. Laughing is good exersice...It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose ur cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives i can get.
3. When you fall down, u wonder what else you can do while ur down there.
4. Your'e getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair u once got from a roller coaster.
5. It's frustrating when u know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer but it's a lousy beautician.
7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1. you believe in Santa Claus
2. you don't believe in Santa Claus
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus
SUCCESS:
At the age of 4 success is...not peeing ur pants
At the age of 12 success is...having friends
At the age of 17 success is...having a drivers licence.
At the age of 20 success is...having sex.
At the age of 35 success is...having money.
At the age of 50 success is...having money.
At the age of 60 success is...having sex.
At the age of 70 success is....having a drivers licence.
At the age of 75 success is...having friends.
At the age of 80 succes is...not peeing ur pants.
:D