Getting married to young? And soul mates?

[JenRN]

Know that all this "stuff" is out about Hilaree and Scott, what do you think is too young to get married? This is a perfect example of how not really being with someone for a long time before marrying them can lead to problems!!! She was 19 when she married him and he was 24, I think? Anyways how young is too young to get married? Do you really know your desires in life before the age of 25? I got married at 22 and yeah I definatley believe I was too young! I don't have any kids but... I still think it was too young, I have changed so much since then! Also, do you believe in soul mates? If you are with someone do you believe it is your soul mate? What do you think the definition of soul mate is?

[hotforscott]

I am a too young story all the way. I got pregnant with my 1st at 18, had her at 19, got married at 19, pregnant again at 20, had him at 21, I am now 23 and he is 30. i love him and he is a great guy, but there have been a lot of issues that have come up because we didn't know everything about eachother. we don't have major problems, like drugs or alchohol, but we didn't have the "alone time" that I feel you need before you have children. i would'nt change one thing about my life, but I feel if I were to giv advice, I would say wait. and also make sure you discuss children BEFORE you have them. dicipline, how many, etc. i am not sure how to answer the soul mate thing. i feel i have my soul mate. i couldn't imagine being with anyone else and i don't think there is anything that could come our way that we could not overcome. we couldn't imagine doing it w/o eachother.

[Wind]

Well,I was married the first time at 28 and my first husband was older than me,he was 30.And we dated and were engaged for 6 yrs before we got married.and we were married for 6 yrs,and it just wasn't going well,by the second year of marriage I was ready to leave,the big mistake I made was not living with him before we got married,if I had I would have never married him.And we got divorced,then I met my second husband,Cayukatee.We met online,and got to know each other throught the computer and talking on the phone.He is 13 yrs younger than me,so I was 33 and he was 20 yrs old when we met.And he came to be with me,and we never were apart again,we started a life together,and we truly are kindred spirits,we have been together for 5 yrs now,and married 1 year and have our 3 yr old daughter together.I am still on cloud nine with him and adore him,as he does me.I guess sometimes it's just about clicking with someone.We have great communication with each other.I didn't have that with my first husband.And I'm really happy with Cayukatee.

[TeriB19]

Getting married young was something our parents did because that's what you were supposed to do. Nowadays, it's more common to take your time and not rush into things. With me, I met my husband when I was 26, we lived together for a year and a half, got engaged, got married and had 2 more years of alone time (which should really be mandatory!!). Had Jenn when I was 2 months past my 30th birthday and Amanda 2 years later. I think there is no one else for me buy my husband. We have the greatest relationship, very much give and take, and we have lots of laughter. If you have a strong bond of friendship, love and laughter, I think that's a recipe for a long and happy marriage. I don't really know too much about soulmates, but I know I wouldn't want any other soul than the one I am married to. There has to be major communication before any huge decision too. How many kids, how will we raise them, how will we discipline them. Don't wait until there here to decide what to do with them.

[souldancer]

I think that age is so individual and experience is also a variable. But, if I have to pick an age, I would say too young is maybe less than 25 - but ...as before - depends on individual. I know some 30+ year olds that are so immature and out of touch that they don't seem ready for marriage. Knowing yourself and having good communication skills with your partner are so important. I
Yes, I do believe in 'soulmates', and consider that my late husband and I were (are) soulmates. I can only attempt to make a description. It's a special relationship, a deep, sacred, eternal connection with another. Each individual is respected for their individuality and contribution to the partnership which is driven by love for the other and fired by committment. The union is greater than two individuals, and love for one is multiplied and felt by the other. The same is true for sorrow as the two are bound through heartfelt strings of compassion. There are no consciously made roles, expectations, obligations - decisions/actions come naturally and take their course as in a beautiful dance.

[Read JDM]

Wow. Those are some of the longest posts in any thread. Anyway, my girlfriend and I have been together for more than 4 years now. We met when I was a junior in college and she was a freshman. I've known since about halfway through the first year we were together that I would want to marry her -- yes, I believe in soulmates. I still want to marry her and I plan on doing just that. However, I am glad that I've waited this long. I am ready to propose to her mentally, but, since she just graduated college, I don't think she's mentally prepared to be married... even though I know she would say yes. She needs at least a year out of school to see the so-called real world (as long as she doesn't go too far, if you know what I mean). I know that if I tried getting married less than a year or so out of school, I wouldn't've been able to handle it nearly as well as I could now. I've got a more mature understanding of things. I'm more responsible. Plus, I can afford a much nicer ring!

[JenRN]

Originally posted by Read JDM
Wow. Those are some of the longest posts in any thread. Anyway, my girlfriend and I have been together for more than 4 years now. We met when I was a junior in college and she was a freshman. I've known since about halfway through the first year we were together that I would want to marry her -- yes, I believe in soulmates. I still want to marry her and I plan on doing just that. However, I am glad that I've waited this long. I am ready to propose to her mentally, but, since she just graduated college, I don't think she's mentally prepared to be married... even though I know she would say yes. She needs at least a year out of school to see the so-called real world (as long as she doesn't go too far, if you know what I mean). I know that if I tried getting married less than a year or so out of school, I wouldn't've been able to handle it nearly as well as I could now. I've got a more mature understanding of things. I'm more responsible. Plus, I can afford a much nicer ring!

Ahhhh... sounds like you are so good to her, lucky lady! You really have your head on your shoulders!;)

[Read JDM]

Originally posted by JenRN
You really have your head on your shoulders!;)

Yes, though sometimes she has to keep it in place there.

[Humbledspirit]

Is it possible to come across more than one soul mate in a life time?

[hotforscott]

In certain situations I think there may be 2, like Sleepless in Seatlle. I feel if you are physically with your soul mate then you would have no reason to keep looking and if you were separated by something other then death, then you would look for them because they were your soul mate.

[Humbledspirit]

Thank you hotforscott for your reply. I have been curious about this for some time now. Do you mean that if the soul mates did not end up together for some reason, they would continue to search (the exterior world) for someone who was like the soul mate they encountered?

[hotforscott]

I just think if maybe you had a soul mate and say one of you moved or somehow got apart from one another, i would think you would look to find them again.

[Humbledspirit]

Oh, I see. Thanks so much for your reply. I loved that movie Sleepless in Seattle.

[hotforscott]

me, too. the sndrk is great also. bye bye blackbird is my favorite song.

[Siana]

i don't have plans to get married young or something...
I found a soul mate,some of you know him (Khemraj from the old BB).We got so many things in common,it's fun talking to him...but i'm still searching for my real soul mate,the 1 i'd spend my life with

[Lady Valkyrie]

I got pregnant and married at the age of 16. Was I ready? Is anybody really "ready" to be a parent? lol Was I mature enough? No, however, I became mature enough real quick when I felt that little life inside of me move. I looked at my husband and said that I was going to give it my best to keep this new family together. Seven years and 3 kids later he left me for my best friend. He put me through much abuse throughout our entire marriage. He was not ready to be mature and responsible for a family. He is 28 and is remarried with 2 more kids and he abuses his wife as he did me and is $7,000 in debt with child support, won't keep a job, and has nothing to do with my kids. I on the other hand have had my ups and downs. I have been stupid and done things that hurt myself and my kids... but in the end I have found the strength and found myself mature enough to take responsibilty for my kids. I got remarried back in January of 1999... it didn't work out. He (now 35 years old) was not ready to become mature enough for the responsibilty of a family. He is an alcoholic, drug addict, and cannot handle the stressof a husband and stepfether... we are now divorcing. I don't think that age has anything to do with maturity level. Historians and scholars, say that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was 14 years old when she married Joseph. God found favor in her... why? She had the spiritual maturity to handle what he needed her to do. Age has nothing to do with maturity... I've met 16 year olds that are more mature than me... and I have met 55 year olds that are nothing but no good bums.

[hotforscott]

I see what you mean. I am sorry for all that has happened to you, I respect you for being able to get out of these relationships and put your children first. There are so many people that stay in them. I have never been in a situation like that, but I know it must be hard to leave for some people. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that things work out for you in the future and you find someone who loves and respects you and your children. Just remember, you got the best part of your ex-husband, and that is your 3 wonderful kids. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

[allison]

LadyV, now you have wonderful fiance, don't you?

[Lady Valkyrie]

Originally posted by allison
LadyV, now you have wonderful fiance, don't you?

Yes I do. He is a Christian as well. He has all the same belief's as I do. He has been in a loveless marriage for 12 years now. His wife as addicted to perscription drugs and he tried everything within his power to help her. She refused to even acknowledge she even had a problem. He and I have known eachother for a couple of years now. He always supported me emotionally and in prayer when I was ready to give up on my marriage. I also did the same for him. We spent countless hours praying for eachother's marriages to be healed and restored. After it was all said and done and we tried everything to help our marriages... we left our respective spouses. That's when we realized how much we really loved eachother. Love and destiny took over from there.

We are looked down upon by many christians because we left our spouses and got together with eachother. However, those very same people don't bother to find out the details. We are waiting until after marriage for sex. This relationship is not built on lust ... but on love. Love is truely patient. lol

[hotforscott]

i am very happy for you. sounds like both of your prayers have been answered.

[allison]

Good for you LadyV. When are you getting married?

[Siana]

when,when?

[GoodGodGirl23]

Originally posted by souldancer
I think that age is so individual and experience is also a variable.  But, if I have to pick an age, I would say too young is maybe less than 25 - but ...as before -  depends on individual.  I know some 30+ year olds that are so immature and out of touch that they don't seem ready for marriage. Knowing yourself and having good communication skills with your partner are so important.  I  
Yes, I do believe in 'soulmates', and consider that my late husband and I were (are) soulmates.  I can only attempt to make a description.  It's a special relationship, a deep, sacred, eternal connection with another.  Each individual is respected for their individuality and contribution to the partnership which is driven by love for the other and fired by committment.  The union is greater than two individuals, and love for one is multiplied and felt by the other.  The same is true for sorrow as the two are bound through heartfelt strings of compassion. There are no consciously made roles, expectations, obligations - decisions/actions come naturally and take their course as in a beautiful dance. :) :jam: