++ Alter Bridge - Fortress ++ PreOrder NOW!!  
Go Back   CreedFeed Community > Community Central > Waxing Poetica
Today's Posts «

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-10-2005, 12:52 PM   #1
uncertaindrumer
uncertaindrumer's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Wound Up
Posts: 1,255
Joined: Dec 2004
Currently: Offline
As the moon shatters

Yeah so this piece=me+tenminutes+write it down no matter how nonsensical it is. Turned out well, or at least I think so.

The questions are all the same
Different words are used
Rhyming is gone, harmony out
A large mess of contradicting noise

Animal voices screeching
In the area off-limits
Time again, time again
No one left to listen

But then: One understands what I say
One doesnít turn around
Looks in my eyes, looks at my face
Doesnít hide the verum-i*

You give me a reason to write
Behind is a life that was written for me
A reflection of what I wanted to be
I never thought you could even exist

Hit me like water on rocks
A melting pot of all that is good
Nothing left to question
When my mind is next to yours

Arm around the shoulders
Or thought provoking words
Juxtaposition of two ideas
A way of life... which just works out

Hearkening back to days ago
Years it might as well be
Reminiscing as the moon shatters
A little is left for you and I

Freedom to say it, even if I canít play it
With anything resembling a key
A to Z, or A to G, pick your poison
Or pick me

*latin word for truth. Not sure why I threw the latin in there. Just seemed to fit.
__________________
Titans baby, Titans.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2005, 01:05 PM   #2
Rocketqueen
Rocketqueen's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Freedom Fighter
Posts: 2,457
Joined: Oct 2005
Currently: Offline
cool that was latin i love you smart ones at the feed outstanding loved the entire thing A to Z was awsome to throw in too interesting
__________________
I Indeed Babtize you with water BUT ONE Mightier Than I Cometh The Latchet Of Whose Shoes I,am Not Worthy To Unloose He Shall Babtize You With The Holy Ghost And With FIREEEEEEEEEE John The Babtist You Never Count Your Money When YOUR Sittin At The Table There Will Be Time Enough To Count,em When The Dealings Done
Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2005, 04:45 PM   #3
Ana4Stapp
Ana4Stapp's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Said Eyes
Posts: 4,971
Joined: Jan 2005
Currently: Offline
Contact:  Send a message via AIM to Ana4Stapp Send a message via MSN to Ana4Stapp
Great lyrics, uncertain!

Like specially that part:

You give me a reason to write
Behind is a life that was written for me
A reflection of what I wanted to be
I never thought you could even exist

Hit me like water on rocks
A melting pot of all that is good
Nothing left to question
When my mind is next to yours
__________________
So while I'm turning in my sheets
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars
Look at the stars, falling down,
And I wonder where, did I go wrong.




"I know a girl (Gio )
She puts the color inside of my world"

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

Last edited by Ana4Stapp : 11-12-2005 at 07:02 PM.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2005, 11:45 PM   #4
Rocketqueen
Rocketqueen's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Freedom Fighter
Posts: 2,457
Joined: Oct 2005
Currently: Offline
a melting pot of all thats good nothing left to question when my mind is next to yours... thats the part i liked as well
__________________
I Indeed Babtize you with water BUT ONE Mightier Than I Cometh The Latchet Of Whose Shoes I,am Not Worthy To Unloose He Shall Babtize You With The Holy Ghost And With FIREEEEEEEEEE John The Babtist You Never Count Your Money When YOUR Sittin At The Table There Will Be Time Enough To Count,em When The Dealings Done
Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2005, 02:38 AM   #5
MrSeeker
MrSeeker's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: INK'ed
Posts: 965
Joined: Jun 2003
Currently: Offline
Contact:  Send a message via AIM to MrSeeker
Meh. I just can't get into it.

It seems to be just words. I see no feeling behind it. Sorry.
__________________
My Myspace page Visit and add me!

Favorite bands,
As I Lay Dying
Demon Hunter
August Burns Red
Becoming The Archetype

Voices are hidden
Giving shame to my name
Am I no better forgiven
If I leave this world the same.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2005, 03:02 AM   #6
Creed7352
Creed7352's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Faceless Fan
Posts: 512
Joined: May 2004
Currently: Offline
seems like more of a poem to me too...nice work though.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2005, 09:56 AM   #7
uncertaindrumer
uncertaindrumer's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Wound Up
Posts: 1,255
Joined: Dec 2004
Currently: Offline
It is a poem. I think it is one of my best. I manage to avoid cliches and stupid rhymes. I also keep a theme throughout but is not to blunt and obvious. I think I finally got a couple of decent metaphors into this one.

Dang writing good poems/songs is hard...
__________________
Titans baby, Titans.

Last edited by uncertaindrumer : 11-11-2005 at 10:07 AM.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2005, 12:02 PM   #8
Rocketqueen
Rocketqueen's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Freedom Fighter
Posts: 2,457
Joined: Oct 2005
Currently: Offline
Quote: (Originally Posted by MrSeeker) Meh. I just can't get into it.

It seems to be just words. I see no feeling behind it. Sorry.
__________________
I Indeed Babtize you with water BUT ONE Mightier Than I Cometh The Latchet Of Whose Shoes I,am Not Worthy To Unloose He Shall Babtize You With The Holy Ghost And With FIREEEEEEEEEE John The Babtist You Never Count Your Money When YOUR Sittin At The Table There Will Be Time Enough To Count,em When The Dealings Done
Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2005, 12:05 PM   #9
Rocketqueen
Rocketqueen's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Freedom Fighter
Posts: 2,457
Joined: Oct 2005
Currently: Offline
Quote: (Originally Posted by Creed7352) seems like more of a poem to me too...nice work though.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I love Your Avi
__________________
I Indeed Babtize you with water BUT ONE Mightier Than I Cometh The Latchet Of Whose Shoes I,am Not Worthy To Unloose He Shall Babtize You With The Holy Ghost And With FIREEEEEEEEEE John The Babtist You Never Count Your Money When YOUR Sittin At The Table There Will Be Time Enough To Count,em When The Dealings Done
Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2005, 08:18 AM   #10
Anna1011
Anna1011's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Said Eyes
Posts: 4,601
Joined: Dec 2004
Currently: Offline
Contact:  Send a message via MSN to Anna1011
i liked this one better than the last one you posted
__________________
*And I know*

*Youíre a part of me*

*And itís your song*

*that sets me free*

*I sing it while*

*I feel I canít hold on*

*I sing tonight*

*cause it comforts me*

"You laugh at me because i'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same"


find me here
Reply With Quote
Old 11-12-2005, 12:53 PM   #11
uncertaindrumer
uncertaindrumer's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Wound Up
Posts: 1,255
Joined: Dec 2004
Currently: Offline
This one is better. lol
__________________
Titans baby, Titans.
Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2005, 12:57 PM   #12
Creed7352
Creed7352's Avatar
USER INFO »
Status: Faceless Fan
Posts: 512
Joined: May 2004
Currently: Offline
Quote: (Originally Posted by uncertaindrumer) It is a poem. I think it is one of my best. I manage to avoid cliches and stupid rhymes. I also keep a theme throughout but is not to blunt and obvious. I think I finally got a couple of decent metaphors into this one.

Dang writing good poems/songs is hard...

ah, my bad..i thought you had said it was a song.

and yes, writing good poems/songs is hard.
Reply With Quote
Post Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Moon Caught Us Crying creedsister Waxing Poetica 2 08-24-2005 03:16 PM
Hidden Moon creedsister Waxing Poetica 4 04-25-2005 07:10 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:28 AM.

Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2004 Steve Caponetto. All Rights Reserved.