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Old 01-07-2005, 07:22 PM   #1
aussiecreeder
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The top 10 reasons God created women

This is funny as

The 10 Top Reasons God Created Woman

God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden because he wouldn't ask for directions.
>
> God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote. (Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don't want to see what's ON TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on.)
>
> God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment.
>
> God knew that when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy a new one for himself.
>
> God knew that Adam would not remember to take out the garbage.
>
> God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth.
>
> As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools.
>
> Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident, and for anything else that was really his fault.
>
> As the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone."
>
> And the No. 1 reason of all . . .
>
> God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared: "I can do better than that"
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She never told a lie,
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But never lived one.
Didnít have a life.
Didnít have a life.
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Old 01-07-2005, 08:44 PM   #2
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I Think Were All A Pain In The Ass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything
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Old 01-07-2005, 08:53 PM   #3
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LOL. That's awesome.

Have you ever heard the joke that says women came first?

When God created Eve, he originally gave her three boobs. One day, she asked God why he gave her three, and that only two were necessary. So, God removed the center boob and threw in off into a bush somewhere. Later, she asked God to make her a man so she wouldn't be so bored. To that, God said, "OK. Now where did I put that useless boob."

(Think about it. You'll get it.)


H-D
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Today I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long
Gonna make the most of it

Today I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late


--lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet
from their new album "Awake"
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Old 01-07-2005, 09:11 PM   #4
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Nooo Joke I Like Read Some Where There Was This Chick That Was Born With 3
Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) LOL. That's awesome.

Have you ever heard the joke that says women came first?

When God created Eve, he originally gave her three boobs. One day, she asked God why he gave her three, and that only two were necessary. So, God removed the center boob and threw in off into a bush somewhere. Later, she asked God to make her a man so she wouldn't be so bored. To that, God said, "OK. Now where did I put that useless boob."

(Think about it. You'll get it.)


H-D
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Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything
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Old 01-07-2005, 09:38 PM   #5
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I love these!!! I'm showing them to my husband.
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Old 01-07-2005, 10:44 PM   #6
TeriB19
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Yes, I'm getting a kick out of them myself. Thanks guys, I needed a good laugh.
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MK: We're never gonna have the Super Bowl of Scott Stapp vs. Myles Kennedy in a sing-off - it's ridiculous.

SP: Actually, we are setting that up.

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Old 01-07-2005, 11:47 PM   #7
CollectiveSoul
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........make me a sandwich
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I enjoy ice cream and a nice pair of slacks, Years later a doctor will tell me I have an IQ of 48 and what some might call mental retardation.
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Old 01-08-2005, 12:16 AM   #8
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...........bite me, Jon.
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MK: We're never gonna have the Super Bowl of Scott Stapp vs. Myles Kennedy in a sing-off - it's ridiculous.

SP: Actually, we are setting that up.

MT: It was in your contract when you signed up with us.

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Old 01-08-2005, 12:40 AM   #9
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hehe
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I enjoy ice cream and a nice pair of slacks, Years later a doctor will tell me I have an IQ of 48 and what some might call mental retardation.
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Old 01-08-2005, 02:13 AM   #10
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LOL, ANYBODY WANT TO JOIN A FEMINIST GROUP NOW? MEN ARE EVIL.


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Old 01-08-2005, 04:24 AM   #11
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Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth.
Oh, that's just lovely. Pass all the hard work onto the ladies.

Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared: "I can do better than that"
Ohh that's the best one there. Eat that men, WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU!!!
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'See the world in Green and Blue
Aotearoa right in front of you.
See the land of the long white cloud
Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south.
Harbour lights in the City of Sails
Aroha, the love that never fails
See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colours came out.'

- Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006
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Old 01-08-2005, 05:26 AM   #12
aussiecreeder
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okay girls you've had your laugh at our expense, now its time to get back to the kitchen and grab me a beer!
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She never told a lie,
Well, might of told a lie.
But never lived one.
Didnít have a life.
Didnít have a life.
But surely saved one.
Alright, now itís time for us to let you go.

Tool
Wings for Marie
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Old 01-08-2005, 12:17 PM   #13
creedsister
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, , Its On Me, Nobody Else Would Be That Stupid To Gooooooooooo, And Grab You One
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Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything
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Old 01-09-2005, 12:32 AM   #14
aussiecreeder
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Quote: (Originally Posted by creedsister) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, , Its On Me, Nobody Else Would Be That Stupid To Gooooooooooo, And Grab You One

yay thanks sis and while you're at it grab a few for the other guys as well!
girls may be more attractive and better communicators but can girls do these things?

read maps? lol
drive?
pee standing up?

no didn't think so.....
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She never told a lie,
Well, might of told a lie.
But never lived one.
Didnít have a life.
Didnít have a life.
But surely saved one.
Alright, now itís time for us to let you go.

Tool
Wings for Marie
Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2005, 04:21 AM   #15
hayley
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Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) okay girls you've had your laugh at our expense, now its time to get back to the kitchen and grab me a beer!
Sure, I will! Because then I can grab one for myself and join you out there!

Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) read maps? lol
drive? pee standing up?

no didn't think so.....
I can read a map, and heck, speed is my best friend! And peeing standing up ... well to be honest, and I'm not exactly proud of it or anthing, but I've peed standing up before.
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'See the world in Green and Blue
Aotearoa right in front of you.
See the land of the long white cloud
Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south.
Harbour lights in the City of Sails
Aroha, the love that never fails
See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colours came out.'

- Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006
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