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Old 04-21-2004, 03:06 AM   #1
Lechium
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good joke

>OLD VERSION:
>
>The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
>house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>
>The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
>summer away Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
>
>The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
>
>MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
>
>
>MODERN VERSION:
>
>The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
>house and laying up supplies for the winter.
>
>The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
>summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
>conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and
>well fed while others are cold and starving.
>
>CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper
>next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
>food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in
>a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
>
>Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries
>when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."
>
>Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the
>news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has
>the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
>
>Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that
>the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for
>an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
>
>Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"
>retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing
>to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to
>pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
>government.
>
>Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation
>suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
>judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
>
>The ant loses the case.
>
>The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the
>ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be
>the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
>The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a
>drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang
>of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
>
>MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican



Got in e-mail from my friend... he loved it, despite the fact that he's democrat lol
I dont have much love for repuclican party myself, but hey, this joke has got the point.
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Old 04-21-2004, 04:26 AM   #2
facelessman
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lol, thats pretty smart
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Is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
B/c i've seen more spine in jellyfish
and ive seen more guts on 11 year old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope theres ice on all the roads
and think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield.
Seventy Times Seven- Brand new
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Old 04-21-2004, 09:41 AM   #3
marlsy
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That's funny!
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that which cannot remain silent~
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Old 04-21-2004, 12:34 PM   #4
GeeK_2004
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So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away - you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control...
My love was punished long ago
If you still care, don't ever let me know
If you still care, don't ever let me know...

"Snuff" - Slipknot
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Old 04-21-2004, 02:44 PM   #5
GoodGodGirl23
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OMFG! LMFAO!!!
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Old 04-21-2004, 03:03 PM   #6
RMadd
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i'm going to have to pass that one on!
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Old 04-21-2004, 03:35 PM   #7
Steve
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That's a great joke. Everyone I shared it with loved it.
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The things that I've loved the things that I've lost
The things I've held sacred that I've dropped
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget
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Old 04-21-2004, 05:12 PM   #8
Higher_Desire
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LOL. That is pretty good.


H-D
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Today I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long
Gonna make the most of it

Today I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late


--lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet
from their new album "Awake"
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Old 04-21-2004, 07:34 PM   #9
Trees of Wisdom
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Great joke!
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Old 04-22-2004, 02:40 AM   #10
facelessman
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i shared that one with all my republican freinds...they loved it
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Is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
B/c i've seen more spine in jellyfish
and ive seen more guts on 11 year old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope theres ice on all the roads
and think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield.
Seventy Times Seven- Brand new
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Old 04-22-2004, 10:10 AM   #11
aussiecreeder
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great stuff!
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