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Old 01-20-2005, 01:51 PM   #1
JulieCitySlicker
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God! I hate myself!

This whole house ordeal is causing all kinds of conflict in my family! My roommate typed up am email about everything from her and my perspective about the house and everything,and here is my brother response to it!
My life sucks so bad right now!!!

Hi Julie,

Mom just showed me the Email that Melody sent her and I am left speechless. First of all she didn't fool anyone by typing all of that and putting your name on it too. Perhaps you agreed to put your name on it but I know that it was all her words. Her own dirty, disrespectful and terribly uninformend words.I still can't believe all that she has said.

The last thing I knew mom was encouraging you to sell the house and was respecting your choices. I feel that Melody is an outsider to our family who doesn't even have a tiny faint of a hint of anything about our family. With all that she does not know or understand she is not one who should be giving advice. She has some nerve to tell mom that she needs to stop being a mommy to you. She makes it sound like mom is so oppresive to you. We know that you can take care of yourself. When you call and ask for advice we give it to you but we have never forced our will upon you.

I still CANNOT believe how much she dogged on mom directly to her. She doesn't have a clue. She is showing her youth, inexperience and naivity. I would NEVER in my life EVER tell someone's mom that she needs to be more encouraging and applaud your children's efforts. Even if there were a shred of truth to her accusations that shows poor taste. If she knew mom at all and knew how selfless she has been over the years, she would not have said such ludicrous baseless things. She says that she encourages you, supports you and looks out for your best interest. If her last Email is any indicator... NONE of that is true at all. I am very disappointed and appauled.

When I first heard that she was moving in I was glad and thought that she was going to be a source of encouragement. But now it is clear that she keeps you discouraged and instigates frustration in your life. I'm sure she is helpful in a lot of other ways and I'm not just out to speak against her. But I am disappointed that you are being so influenced by her when she isn't even paying rent.

From Melody's description of the house I would never believe that she has visited a third world country and seen how most of the world lives. Dad comes to visit and says that you don't have it so bad. Yes, I know that there are quite a few projects for that house. I am not going to argue that it needs a lot of work. But it is not the pile of junk that Melody is allowing you to believe it is. I lived there and I know that you are living in a decent house. It is of course a good time to sell it if you are wanting something with less upkeep but when you decided to stay behind when I moved away you decided to live there until the house sells. I offered to stay there until it sold.

I know that you are too good of a person to abandon the house before it sells because you know that it would become a financial burden for the rest of the family or would damage Kristy's credit. You were raised too well to do such a thing and your family is too important to you. I don't know who is influencing you to abandon Kristy like that but I know that it is not you alone.The house will sell and for a good price because it is a decent house in a good neighborhood. I suggest that you watch some of those home renovation shows to see what really bad homes look like and the nice people that live in them.

Julie you are my sister and I will always love you. No matter how good of a friend Melody has become, remember that your family will always be there for you even when friends move away. Moving out of that house before it is sold will hurt your family which is the only group of people you can really count on. You don't really have it that bad. The government pays your house payment and your utilities. You have a job and your house has every modern convenience. There are very few people who work at a hotel but have Dish Network, DSL, new stove, nice TV, DVD, VCR, new washer and dryer, new furniture. How much of that is being lent by your family? Have we done you wrong? Please allow me to be the first person this week to encourage you Julie. The Lord has blessed you abundantly. I work with a lady that works three jobs to make ends meet. When it seems frustrating that you have to work all the time (and I know that feeling) just know that you don't have it that bad.

I know that Melody is not a bad person and I know that she has good intentions. She has been a good friend to me and you. I just don't think she knows enough about any aspect of this situation to give you advice or tell you how terrible your mother is. The woman who fell in love with you the first time she saw you and has worked hard for decades scraping pennies so that we would have a decent life. I am proud of my mother, and that is why I take it personally when someone tells her how to be a better mother.

Please Julie, think and pray about this by yourself. Please do the right thing and stay in that house until it sells. If not mom will have to just keep paying it on her credit card. You know that no one in our family is rich and no one could afford an additional house payment. We will help you sell that house. We will be down there helping you move. You are always going to have the money to pay for it. Don't just give up because the situation isn't ideal. I don't believe that your living conditions will improve much. The money you pay for that house is less than the rent of a nice apartment.

I need to leave for work but please don't get discouraged Julie. Seek advice from many parties for a balanced view. I'm praying for you.

Love ya Julie!
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Old 01-20-2005, 02:44 PM   #2
Torn Daredevil
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I'm sorry!

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Old 01-20-2005, 03:31 PM   #3
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That really sucks, Julie. But don't hate yourself. I spent the better part of 20 years hating myself, and now I see how much it's brought me down. (which makes me hate myself even more if you can believe it.)

My sister went through a lot of the same things a while ago. Just remember that people are dumb. They'll say what they will, and afterwards you'll know who your friends are and who was just using you.


H-D
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Today I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long
Gonna make the most of it

Today I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late


--lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet
from their new album "Awake"
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Old 01-20-2005, 05:43 PM   #4
hayley
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Exactly, Colin, some friends we are better off without.

Julie, honey, I'm so sorry that you're going through shit right now. You deserve so much better than that! I don't really know what to say, this is something that only your inner self will be able to sort out. But I'm sure you will be able to figure something out, just remember that we are all here for you whenever you want to talk.
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Aotearoa right in front of you.
See the land of the long white cloud
Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south.
Harbour lights in the City of Sails
Aroha, the love that never fails
See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colours came out.'

- Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006
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Old 01-20-2005, 06:56 PM   #5
HigherGirl
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Hayley is right!!!!!!!!!!

Your too nice a person and you don't deserve this crap!!!

For Julie......
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Old 01-20-2005, 08:02 PM   #6
creedsister
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Damn Girl,
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Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything
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Old 01-20-2005, 08:10 PM   #7
JulieCitySlicker
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Thanks Everyone
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Oh
I'm a wandering soul
I'm still walking the line that leads me home
alone
All I know
I still got mountains to climb
on my own


Enough To Let Me Go-Switchfoot
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Old 01-20-2005, 09:19 PM   #8
hayley
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It's okay, Julie. I wish there was someting more I could do to help
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'See the world in Green and Blue
Aotearoa right in front of you.
See the land of the long white cloud
Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south.
Harbour lights in the City of Sails
Aroha, the love that never fails
See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colours came out.'

- Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006
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Old 01-20-2005, 09:26 PM   #9
JulieCitySlicker
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Aww Hayley

I Love You Guys!! Your Awesome
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Oh
I'm a wandering soul
I'm still walking the line that leads me home
alone
All I know
I still got mountains to climb
on my own


Enough To Let Me Go-Switchfoot
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Old 01-20-2005, 09:51 PM   #10
whitebird
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Julie, I'm sorry that I can't spend much time on this reply, but I can't stay online tonight.

I'll send you a message tomarrow.

Stay strong!!!!
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Old 01-20-2005, 09:54 PM   #11
JulieCitySlicker
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Thank you Whitebird I'm trying to hang in there!
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Oh
I'm a wandering soul
I'm still walking the line that leads me home
alone
All I know
I still got mountains to climb
on my own


Enough To Let Me Go-Switchfoot
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Old 01-21-2005, 02:06 PM   #12
whitebird
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Julie, it sounds like you are a very, very loved woman. Your friend, brother and Mother seem to care so very much, although they differ on their opinions.

I've mentioned before that I'm older than many on this board, and I've had many life experiences. I'm very proud of some of the things that I have done in my life, and regret others.

Sometimes the things that I have been most proud of, were the hardest and most frustrating to achieve. When decisions effect those who share our lives, think long and hard before making any final decision, because it's you who will have to live with your choices in your memory. I wish I could go back and change a few in my past, but thankfully not many.

What I guess I'm saying is, if you stick it out till the house sells, sure it may be hard, but I don't think you will ever regret it. There is a possibility of that happening, if you make the other choice.

Just please don't let yourself be pulled between others, even though you love then all, and they all have your best interests at heart. Listen to all their words, and then make the decision, but most importantly, listen to your heart.

Take care, and remember I think you are a very special and caring woman. Let yourself feel that too, because it's true.
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