Poem!!!!

CreedGuy16 · 10-05-2003, 11:14 PM

hope u like it

Help Me Live

see these thoughts play in my head
they would kill my heart buts its already dead
so hear my cries sing me to sleep
for peace I have lost is why I must weep
so feel my pain locked deep inside
pain I tried so hard to cover and hide
so instead see my blood in inocent red
running from my head innocently shed
see all of these things delt to me
do you think this is what I want to be
look and see my soul grow old
dying because of the hate u hold
why cant I know the peace I seek
so much time and im growing weak
I hope I can find a way out
but im shackled by mistrust and bound by dout
some one help me live, help me live

JulieCitySlicker · 10-06-2003, 12:18 AM

That was very deep but very good as well:P I can relate to this cuz I've had those same feelings in my life every now and then

Redeemer · 10-07-2003, 11:27 AM

Oh, how tortured! Seriously. I love it. You write like me, 'cept I don't rhyme b/c I have to try too hard to find rhymes and it ruins the effect for me. But not for you!!! You made the rhyme work and didn't lose your "voice". Three thumbs up!!!!!

The Lithium · 10-07-2003, 02:07 PM

I write a lot myself...The lady upstairs would know, don't you Red-M?

Siana · 10-11-2003, 06:57 AM

i like it

creedsister · 11-02-2003, 11:02 AM

hay...creedguy 16....i will give it a shot k...jesus said iam the truth the way and the life....he will pick up the pices time and time again.......by the way it was good little poem...peace

Dogstar · 11-02-2003, 02:04 PM

Creedguy16, nice job! Beautifully expressed!

10-05-2003, 11:14 PM	#1
CreedGuy16 USER INFO » Status: Illusion Posts: 16 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	Poem!!!! hope u like it Help Me Live see these thoughts play in my head they would kill my heart buts its already dead so hear my cries sing me to sleep for peace I have lost is why I must weep so feel my pain locked deep inside pain I tried so hard to cover and hide so instead see my blood in inocent red running from my head innocently shed see all of these things delt to me do you think this is what I want to be look and see my soul grow old dying because of the hate u hold why cant I know the peace I seek so much time and im growing weak I hope I can find a way out but im shackled by mistrust and bound by dout some one help me live, help me live

10-06-2003, 12:18 AM	#2
JulieCitySlicker USER INFO » Status: Taken Higher Posts: 15,310 Joined: Oct 2002 Currently: Offline	That was very deep but very good as well:P I can relate to this cuz I've had those same feelings in my life every now and then __________________ Oh I'm a wandering soul I'm still walking the line that leads me home alone All I know I still got mountains to climb on my own Enough To Let Me Go-Switchfoot

11-02-2003, 11:02 AM	#6
creedsister USER INFO » Status: Tree of Wisdom Posts: 8,290 Joined: Oct 2003 Currently: Offline	hay...creedguy 16....i will give it a shot k...jesus said iam the truth the way and the life....he will pick up the pices time and time again.......by the way it was good little poem...peace __________________ Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything

11-02-2003, 02:04 PM	#7
Dogstar Forum Diplomat USER INFO » Status: Young Grown Old Posts: 21,345 Joined: Sep 2002 Currently: Offline	Creedguy16, nice job! Beautifully expressed! __________________ Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive so misguided is a mystery.

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

User Name		Remember Me?
Password