Twinkies

[Higher_Desire]

In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, researchers subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments. These are their findings:


Exposure
A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds, even pigeons, avoided this potential source of substance. Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling however, retained its advertised "creaminess."

Radiation
A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes - the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began to emit the Twinkie's rich, characteristic aroma of artificial butter. After one minute, this aroma began to resemble the acrid smell of burning rubber. The experiment was aborted after 2 minutes 10 seconds when thick, foul smoke began billowing from the top of the oven. A second Twinkie was subjected to the same experiment; this Twinkie leaked molten white filling. When cooled, this now epoxy-like filling bonded the Twinkie to its plate, defying gravity: it was removed only upon application of a butter knife.

Extreme Force
A Twinkie was dropped from a ninth-floor window, a fall of approximately 120 feet. It landed right side up, then bounced onto its back. The expected "splatter" effect was not observed. Indeed, the only discernible damage to the Twinkie was a narrow fissure on its underside; otherwise, the Twinkie remained structurally intact.

Extreme Cold
A Twinkie was placed in a conventional freezer for 24 hours. Upon removal, the Twinkie was not found to be frozen solid, but its physical properties had noticeably "slowed". The filling was found to be the approximate consistency of acrylic paint, while exhibiting the mercury-like property of not adhering to practically any surface. It was noticed the Twinkie had generously absorbed the freezer odors.

Extreme Heat
A Twinkie was exposed to a gas flame for 2 minutes. While the Twinkie smoked and blackened and the filling in one of its "cream holes" boiled, the Twinkie did not catch fire. It did, however produce the same "burning rubber" aroma noticed in the irradiation experiment.

Immersion
A Twinkie was dropped into a large bucket filled with water, the Twinkie floated momentarily, then began to list and sink. Viscous yellow tendrils ran off its lower half, possibly consisting of a water-soluble artificial coloring. After 2 hours, the Twinkie bloated substantially. Its coloring was now a very pale tan - in contrast to the yellow, urine-like water that surrounded it. The Twinkie bobbed when touched, and had a gelatinous texture. After 72 hours, the Twinkie had increased roughly 200 percent of its original size. The water had turned opaque, and a small, fan-shaped spray of filling had leaked from one of the "cream holes". Unfortunately, efforts to remove the Twinkie for further analysis were abandoned when, under light pressure the Twinkie disintegrated into an amorphous cloud of debris. A distinctly sour odor was noted.

Summary of Results
The Twinkie's survival of a 120-foot drop, along with some of the unusual phenomena associated with the "creamy filling" and artificial coloring, should give pause to those observers who would unequivocally categorize the Twinkie as "food". Further clinical inquiry is required before any definite conclusions can be drawn.


H-D

[marlsy]

That's funny, I hate twinkies!!! Give me a ding dong anyday!!!

[hayley]

I haven't had a Twinkie ever before...who likes them?

[JulieCitySlicker]

I like twinkies but I'm more of a chocolate person

This was some really interesting info though. Thanks for sharing it Colin

[DangerousDan85]

that was hilarious

[JenRN]

I have never liked Twinkies, now I am glad!

[hayley]

What's in them

[JenRN]

Quote: (Originally Posted by addicted2stapp)

What's in them

They are gross!!! It is a yellow cake mini log with REALLY sweet creme filling. They come 2 in a pack. They are so sweet the make me want to puke

[hayley]

I hate cream, so I defenitly won't like Twinkies.

I always thought along the lines that Twinkies would have mashed potatoe or something in them, don't know why though

[Xterminator27]

I FUCKING LOVE THOSE BITCHES

twinkies are great, how could you NOT Love them!?

[JenRN]

Quote: (Originally Posted by addicted2stapp)

I hate cream, so I defenitly won't like Twinkies.

I always thought along the lines that Twinkies would have mashed potatoe or something in them, don't know why though

mashed potatoes!!!LOL

[hayley]

I don't know why I thought that though

[hayley]

But if they did have potatoe in it, then I would love to have one because potatoe rocks

[JulieCitySlicker]

Quote: (Originally Posted by addicted2stapp)

I hate cream, so I defenitly won't like Twinkies.

I always thought along the lines that Twinkies would have mashed potatoe or something in them, don't know why though

LMAO Hayley

[TeriB19]

I went to high school with a guy named Twinkie. Swear to God. (nickname, of course)