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Old 04-15-2005, 02:46 PM   #1
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A new and different DNR form

This is pretty damn funny. I'd have to agree with everything here too:

I, _________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body,
do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no
circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such
a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, and
attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these
boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to
the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't
in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case.
I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for
their run for the presidency in 2008, or any other year. It is my wish
that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in
peace. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send
e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't
know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and
crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a
political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make
his or her existence a living hell.


MK: We're never gonna have the Super Bowl of Scott Stapp vs. Myles Kennedy in a sing-off - it's ridiculous.

SP: Actually, we are setting that up.

MT: It was in your contract when you signed up with us.

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Old 04-15-2005, 05:55 PM   #2
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Hahaha, that's awesome...

Quote: If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

That about sums it up
Silly monkeys give them thumbs
they make a club and beat their brother down.
How they survive so misguided is a mystery.
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Old 04-15-2005, 10:21 PM   #3
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Old 04-16-2005, 10:35 AM   #4
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:d :d :d
Papa Roach's Tobin Esperance: "If you're gonna wear makeup, it's not about looking pretty. It's gotta look like you've been up all night doing drugs."
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