Out of Reach

TheGreatDivide · 08-31-2009, 10:16 AM

Oh these thorns in my side
How you keep me from seeking relief
I'm trying to find my reason to live
often wondering is this the end?

How much more do I have to sacrafice
Cause I'm nearing the edge
About to take my last breath
Fir the distance to my dreams
seems out of reach

Swarming like a shadow
Keeping my head held high
Hiding the doubt that burns inside

When I'm all alone
As I come face to face with myself
I choose to win
I choose to live.

TrulyAmazing · 08-31-2009, 10:37 PM

Oh these thorns in my side how you keep me from seeking relief , im trying to find my reason to live often wandering is this the end how much more do i have to sarcafice Great Job Also A Glimpse Of A Great Visual There Going As Well im reading from too that 2 prespectives which is hard because im trying because im not looking away from either reasons

But Very Well Written Indeed What You Tried To Capture Here As A Poet Perfect as one

nagpo · 08-31-2009, 11:04 PM

It was written well. But most of the lines were taken directly from creed songs. I know you don't have a problem with that. But originality will help you explain what you're trying to say better. Those words will be truer to your heart and be yours, not creeds. Originality is the readers key to your soul.

Im not saying my stuff is 100% original. A lot of my work is inspired by various lyricists. But I've written enough to put an original spin on it, to make it my own. A lot of my earlier works were inspired by creed also.

I'd say keep at it. Try to use different lines/words to express yourself maybe. Practice. I hope you dont get angry at my post, just trying to help

George Brasil · 09-01-2009, 07:22 PM

DOn't know what you tried to make, but I agree it seems like a song you made using Creed lines. Don't know if it is your intention though.

TheGreatDivide · 09-05-2009, 12:07 PM

I've done alot of thinking and I wasn't trying to write a creed song by any means, thats just how I wrote it. Those are the words that really expressed my feelings and I can't help that Creed uses the same lines. With that out of the way, i've decided no more poems from me.

TrulyAmazing · 09-05-2009, 10:51 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by TheGreatDivide) I've done alot of thinking and I wasn't trying to write a creed song by any means, thats just how I wrote it. Those are the words that really expressed my feelings and I can't help that Creed uses the same lines. With that out of the way, i've decided no more poems from me.

Ya,alls We,ve Got A Lot Of Poets Here And Good Ones Too 95 % percent all influnced by creed I encourage ya to Wrting

08-31-2009, 10:16 AM	#1
TheGreatDivide USER INFO » Status: A Melody Posts: 421 Joined: Sep 2005 Currently: Offline	Out of Reach Oh these thorns in my side How you keep me from seeking relief I'm trying to find my reason to live often wondering is this the end? How much more do I have to sacrafice Cause I'm nearing the edge About to take my last breath Fir the distance to my dreams seems out of reach Swarming like a shadow Keeping my head held high Hiding the doubt that burns inside When I'm all alone As I come face to face with myself I choose to win I choose to live. __________________ Just don't you lose hope I swear I never dream that we're alone Now don't you let go I swear I still believe though I don't know - Words Darker Then Their Wings

08-31-2009, 10:37 PM	#2
TrulyAmazing Banned USER INFO » Status: Said Eyes Posts: 4,377 Joined: Oct 2007 Currently: Offline	Re: Out of Reach Oh these thorns in my side how you keep me from seeking relief , im trying to find my reason to live often wandering is this the end how much more do i have to sarcafice Great Job Also A Glimpse Of A Great Visual There Going As Well im reading from too that 2 prespectives which is hard because im trying because im not looking away from either reasons But Very Well Written Indeed What You Tried To Capture Here As A Poet Perfect as one

08-31-2009, 11:04 PM	#3
nagpo USER INFO » Status: Bound and Tied Posts: 2,176 Joined: Mar 2005 Currently: Offline	Re: Out of Reach It was written well. But most of the lines were taken directly from creed songs. I know you don't have a problem with that. But originality will help you explain what you're trying to say better. Those words will be truer to your heart and be yours, not creeds. Originality is the readers key to your soul. Im not saying my stuff is 100% original. A lot of my work is inspired by various lyricists. But I've written enough to put an original spin on it, to make it my own. A lot of my earlier works were inspired by creed also. I'd say keep at it. Try to use different lines/words to express yourself maybe. Practice. I hope you dont get angry at my post, just trying to help __________________ I really have nothing to say

09-05-2009, 12:07 PM	#5
TheGreatDivide USER INFO » Status: A Melody Posts: 421 Joined: Sep 2005 Currently: Offline	Re: Out of Reach I've done alot of thinking and I wasn't trying to write a creed song by any means, thats just how I wrote it. Those are the words that really expressed my feelings and I can't help that Creed uses the same lines. With that out of the way, i've decided no more poems from me. __________________ Just don't you lose hope I swear I never dream that we're alone Now don't you let go I swear I still believe though I don't know - Words Darker Then Their Wings

09-05-2009, 10:51 PM	#6
TrulyAmazing Banned USER INFO » Status: Said Eyes Posts: 4,377 Joined: Oct 2007 Currently: Offline	Re: Out of Reach Quote: (Originally Posted by TheGreatDivide) I've done alot of thinking and I wasn't trying to write a creed song by any means, thats just how I wrote it. Those are the words that really expressed my feelings and I can't help that Creed uses the same lines. With that out of the way, i've decided no more poems from me. Ya,alls We,ve Got A Lot Of Poets Here And Good Ones Too 95 % percent all influnced by creed I encourage ya to Wrting

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