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11-10-2005, 11:52 AM | #1 |
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As the moon shatters
Yeah so this piece=me+tenminutes+write it down no matter how nonsensical it is. Turned out well, or at least I think so.
The questions are all the same Different words are used Rhyming is gone, harmony out A large mess of contradicting noise Animal voices screeching In the area off-limits Time again, time again No one left to listen But then: One understands what I say One doesn’t turn around Looks in my eyes, looks at my face Doesn’t hide the verum-i* You give me a reason to write Behind is a life that was written for me A reflection of what I wanted to be I never thought you could even exist Hit me like water on rocks A melting pot of all that is good Nothing left to question When my mind is next to yours Arm around the shoulders Or thought provoking words Juxtaposition of two ideas A way of life... which just works out Hearkening back to days ago Years it might as well be Reminiscing as the moon shatters A little is left for you and I Freedom to say it, even if I can’t play it With anything resembling a key A to Z, or A to G, pick your poison Or pick me *latin word for truth. Not sure why I threw the latin in there. Just seemed to fit.
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11-10-2005, 12:05 PM | #2 |
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cool that was latin i love you smart ones at the feed outstanding loved the entire thing A to Z was awsome to throw in too interesting
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I Indeed Babtize you with water BUT ONE Mightier Than I Cometh The Latchet Of Whose Shoes I,am Not Worthy To Unloose He Shall Babtize You With The Holy Ghost And With FIREEEEEEEEEE John The Babtist You Never Count Your Money When YOUR Sittin At The Table There Will Be Time Enough To Count,em When The Dealings Done |
11-10-2005, 03:45 PM | #3 |
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Great lyrics, uncertain!
Like specially that part: You give me a reason to write Behind is a life that was written for me A reflection of what I wanted to be I never thought you could even exist Hit me like water on rocks A melting pot of all that is good Nothing left to question When my mind is next to yours
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So while I'm turning in my sheets And once again, I cannot sleep Walk out the door and up the street Look at the stars Look at the stars, falling down, And I wonder where, did I go wrong. "I know a girl (Gio ) She puts the color inside of my world" Girls become lovers who turn into mothers So mothers be good to your daughters too Last edited by Ana4Stapp : 11-12-2005 at 06:02 PM. |
11-10-2005, 10:45 PM | #4 |
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a melting pot of all thats good nothing left to question when my mind is next to yours... thats the part i liked as well
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I Indeed Babtize you with water BUT ONE Mightier Than I Cometh The Latchet Of Whose Shoes I,am Not Worthy To Unloose He Shall Babtize You With The Holy Ghost And With FIREEEEEEEEEE John The Babtist You Never Count Your Money When YOUR Sittin At The Table There Will Be Time Enough To Count,em When The Dealings Done |
11-11-2005, 01:38 AM | #5 |
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Meh. I just can't get into it.
It seems to be just words. I see no feeling behind it. Sorry.
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11-11-2005, 02:02 AM | #6 |
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seems like more of a poem to me too...nice work though.
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11-11-2005, 08:56 AM | #7 |
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It is a poem. I think it is one of my best. I manage to avoid cliches and stupid rhymes. I also keep a theme throughout but is not to blunt and obvious. I think I finally got a couple of decent metaphors into this one.
Dang writing good poems/songs is hard...
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Titans baby, Titans. Last edited by uncertaindrumer : 11-11-2005 at 09:07 AM. |
11-11-2005, 11:02 AM | #8 |
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I Indeed Babtize you with water BUT ONE Mightier Than I Cometh The Latchet Of Whose Shoes I,am Not Worthy To Unloose He Shall Babtize You With The Holy Ghost And With FIREEEEEEEEEE John The Babtist You Never Count Your Money When YOUR Sittin At The Table There Will Be Time Enough To Count,em When The Dealings Done |
11-11-2005, 11:05 AM | #9 |
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I love Your Avi
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I Indeed Babtize you with water BUT ONE Mightier Than I Cometh The Latchet Of Whose Shoes I,am Not Worthy To Unloose He Shall Babtize You With The Holy Ghost And With FIREEEEEEEEEE John The Babtist You Never Count Your Money When YOUR Sittin At The Table There Will Be Time Enough To Count,em When The Dealings Done |
11-12-2005, 07:18 AM | #10 |
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i liked this one better than the last one you posted
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*And I know* *You’re a part of me* *And it’s your song* *that sets me free* *I sing it while* *I feel I can’t hold on* *I sing tonight* *cause it comforts me* "You laugh at me because i'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same" find me here |
11-12-2005, 11:53 AM | #11 |
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This one is better. lol
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11-15-2005, 11:57 AM | #12 |
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ah, my bad..i thought you had said it was a song. and yes, writing good poems/songs is hard. |
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