Dead whispers

[CreedGuy16]

what is left that can make me whole
the theft of my life and my soul they stole
nothing feels right and nothing feels real
my spirit bleeds black and is to dead to heal
death kisses my face and holds me so tight
its breath smells of pain and its eyes void of light
it whispers in my ear the things that it took
it looks In my eyes with a dark hallow look
seeking my pain that swells up inside
seeking in vein for all there has died
what did I do to deserve what Iv been given
I know I cant hurt because that’s how he is driven
if I show that im aching he’ll feed on the pain
and if I fight for my life tears come like rain
but tears I have shed time after time
weathered and torn and fear in my mind
I am so close to dead to fall all the way
I must raise my head and live through today

[CreedGuy16]

That doesnt read right does it? i cant figure out whats wrong w/it..... i think from "What did i do to deserve what iv been givin" its off all the way to the end, any suggestions?

[JulieCitySlicker]

It sounds good to me
Very emotional and heartfelt, I liked it a lot

[creedsister]

Quote: (Originally Posted by CreedGuy16)

That doesnt read right does it? i cant figure out whats wrong w/it..... i think from "What did i do to deserve what iv been givin" its off all the way to the end, any suggestions?

i would,nt change a think i love it but if i change my mind i will tell you about later dude