|
|
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
04-03-2006, 05:42 PM | #1 |
USER INFO »
Status: Found Peace
Posts: 8,631
Joined: Apr 2003
Currently: Offline
|
things to never say during sex
hey all. it's been a while since i've been here, so here's some comedy for ya.
things to never say during sex: • Is it in yet? • (phone rings) Hello? Oh, nothing, and you? • Do I have to pay for this? • You look better in the dark. • I thought that goes in the other hole... • Hey! My mom has that same bra... • I hope you don't expect a raise for this... • Hurry up, the game is about to start. • I've smoked bigger joints than that! • ZzZzZz • Are you trying to be funny? • Can I have a ride home after this? • Are those real? • Is that smell coming from you? • Haven't you ever done this before? • Do you know what some female spiders do after sex? • You're so much like your sister.... • Your mom is really cute. • What's your name again? • Do I have to be here in the morning? • A second time? I barely stayed awake the first time! • But you just started! • Don't touch that! • Smile for the camera, honey! • Get your hand out of there! • I knew you wore a padded bra! • Cover me boys, I'm going in! • Hold on, let me change the channel... • Hope you don't mind I left my boots on. • Hurry up, the motor's runnin'. • Stop breathing...you're fogging up the wind-shield. • Stop interrupting me! • It's okay, honey, I can imagine that it's bigger. • God, I wish you were a real woman. • Why can't you ever shave your legs? • Your "happy trail" led me to a dead end. • Don't make that face at me! • How much do I owe you? • How come we each have a penis? • Just use your finger, its bigger. • Does your family have to watch? • We'll try again later when you can satisfy me too. • Get off me, I'll do it myself! • Can you hold this sandwich for me? • Watch...my mom taught me this... • Damn girl! My tits are bigger than yours! • Should I ask why you're bleeding? • I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker! • Wanna see me take out my glass eye? • Is it okay if I tell my friends about this? • I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly! • You wanted me to use a condom? • Fire in the hole! • I wanna see how many quarters I can fit in there. • I'm out of condoms, can I use a sock? • Don't squirm, you'll spill my beer. • You don't sweat much for a fat chick • Did I tell you where my cold sore came from? • Is that your chest or an ironing board? • Do you have a license for that? • No, the blindfold is for me. The handcuffs are for you. • Can you wash that real quick? • Did you just shit on my leg? • Stop playing. That was just a warm-up, right? • Beige. We should paint the ceiling beige. • WHAT?! I wouldn't even eat your cooking! • Wow...that rash cream really worked! • Look...shadow puppets! • Do you mind if I start without you? • No, I don't think 'naked' is your look. • NEXT!! • Does this come with instructions? • You want me to go where?! • Is it supposed to be that color? H-D
__________________
Today I'm gonna try a little harder Gonna make every minute last longer Gonna learn to forgive and forget 'Cause we don't have long Gonna make the most of it Today I'm gonna love my enemies Reach out to somebody who needs me Make a change, make the world a better place 'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late --lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet from their new album "Awake" |
04-03-2006, 07:32 PM | #2 |
USER INFO »
Status: Bound and Tied
Posts: 2,176
Joined: Mar 2005
Currently: Offline
|
Re: things to never say during sex
thats a lot. but still funnay.
__________________
I really have nothing to say |
04-03-2006, 07:48 PM | #3 |
USER INFO »
Status: Strong Inside
Posts: 1,478
Joined: Apr 2005
Currently: Offline
|
Re: things to never say during sex
Haha , some funny stuff there :P
__________________
You're cutting me in two.. And ripping me in three.. You're killing with those words you say to me |
04-04-2006, 05:53 PM | #4 |
USER INFO »
Status: Said Eyes
Posts: 4,615
Joined: Feb 2006
Currently: Offline
|
Re: things to never say during sex
__________________
|
04-04-2006, 09:44 PM | #5 |
Forum Diplomat
USER INFO »
Status: Young Grown Old
Posts: 21,345
Joined: Sep 2002
Currently: Offline
|
Re: things to never say during sex
__________________
Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive so misguided is a mystery. |
04-05-2006, 12:57 AM | #6 |
USER INFO »
Status: Freedom Fighter
Posts: 2,432
Joined: Oct 2005
Currently: Offline
|
Re: things to never say during sex
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA well praise The Lord i never get to SCORE!!!! but thanks for the tip H~D i,ve missed your lit ass good to see ya back
__________________
I Indeed Babtize you with water BUT ONE Mightier Than I Cometh The Latchet Of Whose Shoes I,am Not Worthy To Unloose He Shall Babtize You With The Holy Ghost And With FIREEEEEEEEEE John The Babtist You Never Count Your Money When YOUR Sittin At The Table There Will Be Time Enough To Count,em When The Dealings Done |
04-05-2006, 03:49 PM | #7 |
USER INFO »
Status: Found Peace
Posts: 9,137
Joined: Sep 2002
Currently: Offline
|
Re: things to never say during sex
Hehehe! Colin those were pretty funny!
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests) | |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|