One of my poems

[Hotdoggie]

Hey everybody, I've been wriing poems for a while now, and i want u to read it and i really hope you like it....i'm new in the creedfeed community that's why....
Anyway here it is, it's called: :embarass:

The Crooner

You are in a room pitch black
And damn it's icy cold in here
So you tremble in fear
Just when you see a ray of light, a shaft
It attracts you like never before
It prompts you to know where it'll lead
You think it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen
Suddenly something hits you and you see gore
Yes, you've been betrayed by the Light
Arrows are shot at you
And you're slowly losing your life
And don't know what to do.
So you run towards the shaft
You leave this place that's rack
Then you fall in an endless abyss
And forget the reasons about all this...

You're falling forever and ever
And you don't know why
You don't even know if Time's passing by...

Out of nowhere, you hear a Crooner
As you listen to his voice
It's sad, filling your soul and its void
As he sings his mourning so softly
You "land" finally
And beging seaching for him
For he only chants the sorrow that he has within
"Crooner, where are you? you yell
Your sorrow is burning me like Hell!
Why are you this way?
Please show yourself in the light of day
And stand with me face to face
but don't try to go to a hiding place..."
No answer, dear listener
'Cause the shaft got you in a stupid dream
But you can't wake up it seems.

Yeah, the Crooner's still singing
And you're still dreaming...

Despair's within you, it's in your veins
A despair that only the Crooner can explain:
"What you think is who you are
What you're searching for is still very far
When the sun will rise in the East
And set in the West
Then it has ended your quest
And Happiness you've reached."
That's what the Crooner chants
That's what you'll understand

So keep on listening dear listener
'Cause your dream will stop here dear dreamer.

[Redeemer]

Oh, man, that's excellent! I really like the idea you're presenting in this poem. I almost think of My Own Prison while I'm reading it--my vision of MOP, anyway.
Oh, and I love your name! Hotdoggie--that's great!

[Hotdoggie]

Oh my God, that's exactly what I was trying to say, it's my own version of MOP...I'm glad someone has recognized it! Thank you Redeemer, love ya man!

[Sam16]

thats great hotdoggie, just a question though, whos your crooner and whats your shaft??

[Hotdoggie]

The Crooner is like an angel, you know kids when they have like imaginary friends and all? We grown ups have our own but we don't wanna admit it cuz it's too childish, everybody needs someone to talk to, that person lives inside of us and he/she knows what we feel inside...
"And begin searching for him
For he only chants the sorrow that he has within"
you know what I mean??
The light (aka the shaft) is the ideology of hope we have in life, we think it's going to save us, but it's hard to reach it: betrayal of Hope.
"Yes, you've been betrayed by the Light
Arrows are shot at you
And you're slowly losing your life
And don't know what to do."
You see where I'm getting at?

[Siana]

it's great!!!wow!i like it