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Old 05-22-2004, 08:36 AM   #1
aussiecreeder
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guy's rules

okay us guys cop it all the time so now is the time for revenge!

Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

i didn't think of these but i must say they are brillant and oh so true!
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She never told a lie,
Well, might of told a lie.
But never lived one.
Didn’t have a life.
Didn’t have a life.
But surely saved one.
Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go.

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Old 05-22-2004, 12:48 PM   #2
creedsister
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HaHaHaHaHaHaHa, LMAO what Color Is Fricking Mauve , i have another question the toilet set thing doe not bother me if its up not a big deal really, but why do Guys miss the darn toilet, They Need Splash Guards, HAHAHAHA, I Hate To Shop I Only Go We Its A must ThanK God For Ebay,
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Old 05-22-2004, 02:11 PM   #3
Higher_Desire
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LOL. I posted something like this a while back. It's really funny. I think another addition would be (for me at least) that it's incredibly hard to trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.


H-D
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Today I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long
Gonna make the most of it

Today I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late


--lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet
from their new album "Awake"
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Old 05-22-2004, 02:50 PM   #4
Trees of Wisdom
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Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) LOL. I posted something like this a while back. It's really funny. I think another addition would be (for me at least) that it's incredibly hard to trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.


H-D

Haha.
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Old 05-22-2004, 03:04 PM   #5
goddess_bb
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Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) LOL. I posted something like this a while back. It's really funny. I think another addition would be (for me at least) that it's incredibly hard to trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.


H-D

Yea and if it didn't bleed you wouldn't exist to write stupid things like that..
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All that you can do

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Old 05-22-2004, 07:17 PM   #6
aussiecreeder
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Quote: (Originally Posted by goddess_bb) Yea and if it didn't bleed you wouldn't exist to write stupid things like that..

ouch...

anyhow back to the laughs how good was this one?

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

lmao
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She never told a lie,
Well, might of told a lie.
But never lived one.
Didn’t have a life.
Didn’t have a life.
But surely saved one.
Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go.

Tool
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Old 05-22-2004, 07:55 PM   #7
Dogstar
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Quote: (Originally Posted by goddess_bb) Yea and if it didn't bleed you wouldn't exist to write stupid things like that..



Those were funny, hide...
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they make a club and beat their brother down.
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Old 05-22-2004, 08:24 PM   #8
hayley
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Quote: (Originally Posted by handmedown) 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.


Quote: (Originally Posted by handmedown) 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.


Those were funny
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See the bird with the leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colours came out.'

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Old 05-22-2004, 10:04 PM   #9
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Quote: (Originally Posted by handmedown) 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.


Just about every time I see Adam( the guy that i really really really reallly like.....) do that...I start laughin....Dont know why..

its just funny (to me....).....
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So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away - you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control...
My love was punished long ago
If you still care, don't ever let me know
If you still care, don't ever let me know...

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Old 05-22-2004, 10:09 PM   #10
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.


not really true....

yea in a way its true..


ok....what IF a girl/female/woman said that she was/is/thinks that she fat ..and shes like a size 0 or 2 or something ( somethin really small like size 2 or something..)..would you think thats/shes fat ?!?!?!

now.....dont get me wrong...

when a big person says that, of course, more than likely their fat (not trying to start anything if anyone gets offened by this comment!!!!)
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So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away - you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control...
My love was punished long ago
If you still care, don't ever let me know
If you still care, don't ever let me know...

"Snuff" - Slipknot
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Old 05-22-2004, 10:35 PM   #11
creedsister
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Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) LOL. I posted something like this a while back. It's really funny. I think another addition would be (for me at least) that it's incredibly hard to trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.


H-D
Only Women Bleed As A matter of fact I Just Started Today, Look Out Mega Bitch Alert
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Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything
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Old 05-23-2004, 12:44 AM   #12
Higher_Desire
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Quote: (Originally Posted by creedsister) Only Women Bleed As A matter of fact I Just Started Today, Look Out Mega Bitch Alert
Yeah. I could have gone without knowing that information. lol.

Quote: (Originally Posted by goddess_bb) Yea and if it didn't bleed you wouldn't exist to write stupid things like that..
But why the hell does it take so long? And why can't they just move by themselves? Or why do they have to move? Any why blood?


H-D
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Today I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long
Gonna make the most of it

Today I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late


--lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet
from their new album "Awake"
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Old 05-23-2004, 02:06 AM   #13
aussiecreeder
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Quote: (Originally Posted by GeeK_2004) 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.


not really true....

yea in a way its true..


ok....what IF a girl/female/woman said that she was/is/thinks that she fat ..and shes like a size 0 or 2 or something ( somethin really small like size 2 or something..)..would you think thats/shes fat ?!?!?!

now.....dont get me wrong...

when a big person says that, of course, more than likely their fat (not trying to start anything if anyone gets offened by this comment!!!!)

there are also lots of skinny girls who want to be told they are thin!

anyhow;

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

__________________
She never told a lie,
Well, might of told a lie.
But never lived one.
Didn’t have a life.
Didn’t have a life.
But surely saved one.
Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go.

Tool
Wings for Marie
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Old 05-23-2004, 03:15 AM   #14
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Quote: (Originally Posted by GeeK_2004) ok....what IF a girl/female/woman said that she was/is/thinks that she fat ..and shes like a size 0 or 2 or something ( somethin really small like size 2 or something..)..would you think thats/shes fat ?!?!?!
She's fat fat FAT! Healthy women are into the minus sizes.


Quote: (Originally Posted by handmedown) 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
This is the only one I found funny.
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Old 05-23-2004, 03:24 AM   #15
aussiecreeder
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Quote: (Originally Posted by Said Eyes) She's fat fat FAT! Healthy women are into the minus sizes.



This is the only one I found funny.

the only one? i was cracking up anyway.....
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She never told a lie,
Well, might of told a lie.
But never lived one.
Didn’t have a life.
Didn’t have a life.
But surely saved one.
Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go.

Tool
Wings for Marie
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