Sunday Dispatch.657

[the iron horse]

Sunday Dispatch.657

I foolishly thought that if I just 'made it' then everything would be okay.
And everything wasn't okay.
~ Trent Reznor

Sometimes in life it hits the fan: unfulfilled dreams, rejection, substance abuse, depression, suffering, loneliness, separation, tragedy, disease, death.

Good songwriters often express this anguish of being messed up in a messed up world. Billy Corgan said the album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” by The Smashing Pumpkins was based on “the human condition of the mortal soul.”

“Hurt” by Trent Reznor was released on the album “The Downward Spiral” by Nine Inch Nails. It is one sad song. Reznor, when he penned the lyrics, was going through a ton of trouble. During the five years following the release of The Downward Spiral, Reznor struggled with depression, social anxiety disorder, and the death of his grandmother (who raised him). During this period of intense grief, Reznor began abusing alcohol, cocaine, and other drugs. He eventually became addicted to alcohol and cocaine

In 2003 Johnny Cash covered the song. 71 years of age at the time of filming , Cash had serious health problems and his frailty is starkly evident in the video. He died seven months later. His wife, June Carter Cash, who participated in the video, died three months after filming, closely preceding him in death. The house where the video for 'Hurt' was shot, which was Cash's home for nearly 30 years, was destroyed in a fire on April 10, 2007.

Later Reznor’s commented on the song and Cash’s video: “I pop the video in, and wow... Tears welling, silence, goose-bumps... Wow. [I felt like] I just lost my girlfriend, because that song isn't mine anymore... It really made me think about how powerful music is as a medium and art form. I wrote some words and music in my bedroom as a way of staying sane, about a bleak and desperate place I was in, totally isolated and alone.”


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go&feature=kp

Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
My eyes grow weak with sorrow,
My soul and body with grief
~Psalm 31:9

[Sasa]

That video is amazing, Cash singing in it using his life is also amazing. It is an age old tale, even with King Solomon in Ecclesiastes. He talks about all he worked for and worldly possessions, he is analyzing his life and wondering what his purpose here is. What has happened before will keep repeating, history over and over again.

I was moved by chapter 3 verse 22:
So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?

Do I enjoy my work? At this moment yes, will it change in the future? maybe. Tomorrow is a new day and we are constantly growing and changing.
I know ...that my heart sang the other day when I arrived at work at 4 am to prepare for patients I was getting ready to treat, when I opened the door and saw a group of wheelchairs filled with people who I am giving just a little more time here to make things right before they give up the ghost. The smiles on their faces while they are in such a state of suffering brought a smile to my own face. And one dying man who yelled out to me when I opened the door, "Well, GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE." made my day better...and I made his better in return !


"To find the most beautiful in all, follow the tracks of the sheep."