Comedy Quote Thread - Page 2

Mulletman · 01-21-2004, 11:33 PM

"The UN is like a battered wife, the bitch just don't listen"

-- Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn

Dogstar · 01-21-2004, 11:38 PM

"Yeah, I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?"

John Bender to Mr. Vernon in the Breakfast Club.

DangerousDan85 · 01-21-2004, 11:45 PM

HHH- One on one, let's go
Rock- You wanna go huh?
HHH- Yeah
Rock- why dont you go and make The Rock a bologna sandwich, this doesn't concern you!

Dogstar · 01-21-2004, 11:58 PM

"ell the cook this is low grade dog food ... This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it."

Al Czervik in Caddyshack

RMadd · 01-22-2004, 12:23 AM

Just a few of my favorites from Dave Chappelle (for those of you who have never heard of Chappelle, he's a fucking hilarious black comedian, got a show on Comedy Central Wed. nights, 10:30 pm est... good stuff):
"Mmmm mmmm, bitch!"
"Good motherfuckin' choice, motherfucker!"
"Sir! I am in no way, shape, or form, involved in any niggerdom!"
"Look here, nigger! If there's gonna be anybody have sex with my sister, it's gonna be me!"
"'Hey baby! Stop selling weed alright, you got your whole life ahead of you.' He said, 'Fuck you nigger, I got kids to feed!'"
"Boogety-boogety niggers! Boogety-boogety!"

Dogstar · 01-22-2004, 12:25 AM

Hmm, the humor must be in the delivery. I really fail to see the humor in that.

Sincirr · 01-22-2004, 08:39 AM

Whaddya think a colonic IS?! U GO RUN YO' ***HOLE BY THE CARWASH???!!!
Nutty Professor

SCOTTSMYMAN · 01-22-2004, 05:18 PM

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Mpntey Python- Holy Grail

SCOTTSMYMAN · 01-22-2004, 05:49 PM

Long Duk Dong: No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.

*Sixteen Candles*

RMadd · 01-22-2004, 05:52 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by Dogstar) Hmm, the humor must be in the delivery. I really fail to see the humor in that.

it is... it's not so offesnive given that he's a black comedian, and that some blacks (particularly those around my age group), though most certainly not all of them, refer to each other as "niggas"... if Mr. Chappelle were white, he most certainly wouldn't be on tv, and it just wouldn't be funny.

Dogstar · 01-22-2004, 06:38 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by SCOTTSMYMAN) French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Mpntey Python- Holy Grail

hahahahah, that is my all-time fave comedy!!!!!

French soldier: Now, go way before I taunt you a second time!

ryloz58 · 01-22-2004, 07:30 PM

Whenever Katherine revs up the microwave, I piss my pants and forgot who I am for half an hour.

- Eddy in "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation"

TeriB19 · 01-22-2004, 11:31 PM

Samantha: I can't believe I just got felt up by my Grandmother.

--Sixteen Candles

Sincirr · 01-23-2004, 09:32 AM

"I hate the Colonel, with his WEEEEE BEEEEEEADY EYES!!!! And that SMUG look on his face: OOOHHH YOURE GONNA BUY MY CHICKEN OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!"
Charlie's father - So I Married an Axe Murderer

Higher_Desire · 01-23-2004, 12:57 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by Mulletman) "The UN is like a battered wife, the bitch just don't listen"

-- Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn

Elizabeth Swann: So that's the mysterious grand adventure of the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow? You spent 3 days lying on a beach drinking rum.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Welcome to the Caribbean, love.

--From "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

H-D

01-21-2004, 11:33 PM	#16
Mulletman Forum Diplomat USER INFO » Status: Rising Sun Posts: 4,161 Joined: Sep 2002 Currently: Offline	"The UN is like a battered wife, the bitch just don't listen" -- Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn __________________ Intellectial Giant (Social Outcast) Quote: (Originally Posted by JenRN) Maybe it's time for some Mullet magic! He can do his Hoffa thing again! Quote: (Originally Posted by Harvey) Women must adore you.

01-21-2004, 11:38 PM	#17
Dogstar Forum Diplomat USER INFO » Status: Young Grown Old Posts: 21,345 Joined: Sep 2002 Currently: Offline	"Yeah, I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?" John Bender to Mr. Vernon in the Breakfast Club. __________________ Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive so misguided is a mystery.

01-21-2004, 11:58 PM	#19
Dogstar Forum Diplomat USER INFO » Status: Young Grown Old Posts: 21,345 Joined: Sep 2002 Currently: Offline	"ell the cook this is low grade dog food ... This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it." Al Czervik in Caddyshack __________________ Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive so misguided is a mystery.

01-22-2004, 12:23 AM	#20
RMadd USER INFO » Status: Found The Real Posts: 10,546 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	Just a few of my favorites from Dave Chappelle (for those of you who have never heard of Chappelle, he's a fucking hilarious black comedian, got a show on Comedy Central Wed. nights, 10:30 pm est... good stuff): "Mmmm mmmm, bitch!" "Good motherfuckin' choice, motherfucker!" "Sir! I am in no way, shape, or form, involved in any niggerdom!" "Look here, nigger! If there's gonna be anybody have sex with my sister, it's gonna be me!" "'Hey baby! Stop selling weed alright, you got your whole life ahead of you.' He said, 'Fuck you nigger, I got kids to feed!'" "Boogety-boogety niggers! Boogety-boogety!" __________________

01-22-2004, 12:25 AM	#21
Dogstar Forum Diplomat USER INFO » Status: Young Grown Old Posts: 21,345 Joined: Sep 2002 Currently: Offline	Hmm, the humor must be in the delivery. I really fail to see the humor in that. __________________ Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive so misguided is a mystery.

01-22-2004, 05:52 PM	#25
RMadd USER INFO » Status: Found The Real Posts: 10,546 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by Dogstar) Hmm, the humor must be in the delivery. I really fail to see the humor in that. it is... it's not so offesnive given that he's a black comedian, and that some blacks (particularly those around my age group), though most certainly not all of them, refer to each other as "niggas"... if Mr. Chappelle were white, he most certainly wouldn't be on tv, and it just wouldn't be funny. __________________

01-22-2004, 06:38 PM	#26
Dogstar Forum Diplomat USER INFO » Status: Young Grown Old Posts: 21,345 Joined: Sep 2002 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by SCOTTSMYMAN) French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Mpntey Python- Holy Grail hahahahah, that is my all-time fave comedy!!!!! French soldier: Now, go way before I taunt you a second time! __________________ Silly monkeys give them thumbs they make a club and beat their brother down. How they survive so misguided is a mystery.

01-22-2004, 11:31 PM	#28
TeriB19 Forum Diplomat USER INFO » Status: Saving Grace Posts: 12,439 Joined: Sep 2002 Currently: Offline	Samantha: I can't believe I just got felt up by my Grandmother. --Sixteen Candles __________________ MK: We're never gonna have the Super Bowl of Scott Stapp vs. Myles Kennedy in a sing-off - it's ridiculous. SP: Actually, we are setting that up. MT: It was in your contract when you signed up with us.

01-23-2004, 12:57 PM	#30
Higher_Desire USER INFO » Status: Found Peace Posts: 8,631 Joined: Apr 2003 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by Mulletman) "The UN is like a battered wife, the bitch just don't listen" -- Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn Elizabeth Swann: So that's the mysterious grand adventure of the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow? You spent 3 days lying on a beach drinking rum. Captain Jack Sparrow: Welcome to the Caribbean, love. --From "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl H-D __________________ Today I'm gonna try a little harder Gonna make every minute last longer Gonna learn to forgive and forget 'Cause we don't have long Gonna make the most of it Today I'm gonna love my enemies Reach out to somebody who needs me Make a change, make the world a better place 'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late --lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet from their new album "Awake"

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