Job Description

[Lady Valkyrie]

POSITION: Mom, Mama, Mother

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for challenging
permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties
also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: For the rest of your life. Must be willing to be
hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no
tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are
offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

[Xterminator27]

Job Description Father

Lay around
Drink beer
Watch TV
Eat Chips

BENEFITS

Slave wife
Free stuff from slave wife


RESPONSIBLILITYS

Watch teh game every sunday

POSIBLITY FOR PROMO

every second all u have to do is breath

WAGES

100$$ a week for sitten on ur ass



Shure glad im a guy, lol


also that job discription is for the Lazy father, u no the ones u always see on movies with the stained shirts fat bellys and texan wifes. hehe

[DangerousDan85]

:lol:

[Weathered]

hahaha x that was good

[Lady Valkyrie]

I really didn't think that was funny. Are anyone of you actually ADULT males in a relationship with a real WOMAN... an/or have real CHILDREN?

If so may God have mercy on your significant other and your children... may they get as far away from you as possible.

If not then you both need to seriously grow up and have some respect for your future mate and children.

I come from 2 abusive marriages. My 1st husband abused me verbally, physically, and even sexually. I was treated as a slave. He sat on his ass doing nothing and never had anything to do with our 3 kids. He left me for my best friend on our daughter's birthday. He now is married to her with 2 more kids. She slaves 12 hours a day to pay the rent and get food on the table. Her 2 kids go to a daycare center. What does he do? He sits on his ass doing nothing but hunting, fishing, tinkering on old junk cars, and playing video games. He is $7,500 behind on the child support to my kids. He's a bum loser.

My second husband was an alcoholic and drug addict. His addicts kept us in poverty and my children were forced to live with fact that they were not guarunteed a roof over their heads and food on the table due to their step father's addiction.

I find it very offensive that you glorify the bum losers of this world. I find it offensive that you think it's funny. Some I know will say, "Audrey, take a chill pill, they were just joking." Yet, I can't help but look at my own kids and think of the fact that their dream is to just have a father figure to love them, be there for them, and not reject them time and time again. And I can't help but think of the abuse, neglect and rejection that I faced from 2 men that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

I don't mean to make a mountain out of a molehill... but... I don't know... what you guys said cut my inside and really rubbed me the wrong way.

[Xterminator27]

I know i was just joking, and im verry sorry that youve had to experiance that. I guess its funny to poke at it but its hell to actually experiance it. Ive seen those people cuz i helped out a womens shelter for community cervice cuz im in this programm that goes around doing differnt things and its actually horrible what some of them have to go through. just makes me realize how lucky I actually am for not having to have unloving parents.

[Weathered]

sorry audrey...as you said yes it was a joke...i didnt know that actually happened to you though...im sorry

[Weathered]

and no im only 15 X are you 14?

[Lady Valkyrie]

Oh it's ok guys... I didn't mean to come down on ya'll so hard. Really I didn't. All is forgiven... no worries.

[Xterminator27]

yup. but in a few months ill be 15.

[Weathered]

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Valkyrie
Oh it's ok guys... I didn't mean to come down on ya'll so hard. Really I didn't. All is forgiven... no worries.

good didnt want to get off to the wrong track with you

[Lady Valkyrie]

lol by the way... I'm 28... will be 29 next September lol

[Xterminator27]

Lets all put our bad memories away and look at the good things in life! Imagine the people living in afaganistan who get shot and killed for trying to go to school. The million who die and suffer because of our money hungry world. People would rather ge ta shiney TV these days than save a hundred lives. Yes some of us have horrible experiances but there are otehrs who have much worst. We must be thankful no matter what happens because everyoen here taks to many things for grantid. like a bed or a family. Or the air you breath and the water you drink. I just hope some day our twisted world will be straigtend. But i no it wont be until a while.

These billionares are putten enough money to save a small country from starvation into pools and houses. But thats not the main thing

If America took all the money they spend on war equipment for just ONE year they could solve world hunger. Save hundreds of million from horrible lives... instead we spend it on weponds desighned to kill others lives. Why are we fighting with ourselfs here? Any second we could all die by some astroid or otehr race of creaturs and then all this war and everythin would be for nothing. People shouldnt be fighting with people, we should be fixing our world and saving the less fortunant. Our world is breaking and we are slowly destroying it.. Its not a matter of IF, its a matter of When. And yes when we make it so life is impossible on earth it may not affect you... but it may affect your children and their children and their children... We are all doomed to teh same fate because of a broken twisted society. When can we fix ourselfs? If we ever do......

[Xterminator27]

U no not all mothers have that job.