Funny famous quotes about sex

Higher_Desire · 01-19-2005, 01:57 AM

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
-- Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
-- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?"
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
-- Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
-- Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
-- Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
-- Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-- Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
-- Robert DeNiro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
-- Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
-- Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
-- Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
-- Robin Williams

H-D

creedsister · 01-19-2005, 02:05 PM

RMadd · 01-19-2005, 02:23 PM

that's damn funny
i liked Jack Nicholson, Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams

Torn Daredevil · 01-19-2005, 03:49 PM

Jack Nicholson and Robin Williams were the best

goddess_bb · 01-19-2005, 04:06 PM

That was great Higher, thank you

aussiecreeder · 01-19-2005, 06:11 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by goddess_bb) That was great Higher, thank you

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-- Billy Crystal

lol funny cause its true......

Hey higher I've noticed something here, all this stuff you've posted lately relates to sex.

Higher_Desire · 01-19-2005, 07:01 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-- Billy Crystal

lol funny cause its true......

Hey higher I've noticed something here, all this stuff you've posted lately relates to sex.

LOL. Not quite all of it. At least I don't think they were... anyway, if they were, it was unintentional.

H-D

aussiecreeder · 01-19-2005, 09:32 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) LOL. Not quite all of it. At least I don't think they were... anyway, if they were, it was unintentional.

H-D

its alright us guys understand!

RMadd · 01-19-2005, 09:53 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) Hey higher I've noticed something here, all this stuff you've posted lately relates to sex.

haven't you heard that men think of sex something like at least once every 2 to 5 seconds? hooray for boobies!

HigherGirl · 01-20-2005, 07:03 PM

HD.....

That was great, I needed a laugh. Where do you get this stuff?

aussiecreeder · 01-20-2005, 07:14 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by RMadd) haven't you heard that men think of sex something like at least once every 2 to 5 seconds? hooray for boobies!

every 2 to 5 seconds? well being a man myself i doubt its that often but ummmm its probably not too far from the truth lol. man if the girls could have our brains for just 10 minutes they would become lesbians lol.

Mulletman · 01-20-2005, 09:33 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
-- Billy Crystal

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
-- Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
-- Robin Williams

Exactly, its as if they red my mind!

RMadd · 01-20-2005, 11:40 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) every 2 to 5 seconds? well being a man myself i doubt its that often but ummmm its probably not too far from the truth lol. man if the girls could have our brains for just 10 minutes they would become lesbians lol.

yeah, i don't know if it's that often, but, then again, it prolly avgs out when you think about it for a few secs or mins on end lol

aussiecreeder · 01-21-2005, 02:10 AM

Quote: (Originally Posted by RMadd) yeah, i don't know if it's that often, but, then again, it prolly avgs out when you think about it for a few secs or mins on end lol

lol does this include sleep time? maybe every few minutes hehe.......

hayley · 01-21-2005, 05:13 AM

Oh Michael now you're being REALLY bad lmao

2 to 5 seconds? That's some full on thoughts there, surley that can't be right

01-19-2005, 01:57 AM	#1
Higher_Desire USER INFO » Status: Found Peace Posts: 8,631 Joined: Apr 2003 Currently: Offline	Funny famous quotes about sex Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." -- Sharon Stone "My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading." -- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers) "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" -- Arnold Schwarzenegger "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." -- Tiger Woods "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -- Jack Nicholson "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." - Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor) "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -- Robin Williams "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." -- Roseanne "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." -- Billy Crystal "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." -- Robert DeNiro "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" -- Dustin Hoffman "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." -- Jerry Seinfeld "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." -- Rod Stewart "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." -- Robin Williams H-D __________________ Today I'm gonna try a little harder Gonna make every minute last longer Gonna learn to forgive and forget 'Cause we don't have long Gonna make the most of it Today I'm gonna love my enemies Reach out to somebody who needs me Make a change, make the world a better place 'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late --lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet from their new album "Awake"

01-19-2005, 02:05 PM	#2
creedsister USER INFO » Status: Tree of Wisdom Posts: 8,290 Joined: Oct 2003 Currently: Offline	__________________ Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything

01-19-2005, 02:23 PM	#3
RMadd USER INFO » Status: Found The Real Posts: 10,546 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	that's damn funny i liked Jack Nicholson, Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams __________________

01-19-2005, 04:06 PM	#5
goddess_bb USER INFO » Status: Strong Inside Posts: 1,498 Joined: Jan 2003 Currently: Offline	That was great Higher, thank you __________________ Someone finds salvation In everyone Another only pain Someone tries to hide himself Down inside himself he prays Someone swears his true love Until the end of time Another runs away Separate or united Empty or insane And be yourself is all that you can do All that you can do Be Yourself~Audioslave ~Ignore me, I dare you~

01-19-2005, 07:01 PM	#7
Higher_Desire USER INFO » Status: Found Peace Posts: 8,631 Joined: Apr 2003 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." -- Billy Crystal lol funny cause its true...... Hey higher I've noticed something here, all this stuff you've posted lately relates to sex. LOL. Not quite all of it. At least I don't think they were... anyway, if they were, it was unintentional. H-D __________________ Today I'm gonna try a little harder Gonna make every minute last longer Gonna learn to forgive and forget 'Cause we don't have long Gonna make the most of it Today I'm gonna love my enemies Reach out to somebody who needs me Make a change, make the world a better place 'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late --lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet from their new album "Awake"

01-19-2005, 03:49 PM	#4
Torn Daredevil USER INFO » Status: INK'ed Posts: 753 Joined: Apr 2004 Currently: Offline	Jack Nicholson and Robin Williams were the best

01-19-2005, 09:53 PM	#9
RMadd USER INFO » Status: Found The Real Posts: 10,546 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) Hey higher I've noticed something here, all this stuff you've posted lately relates to sex. haven't you heard that men think of sex something like at least once every 2 to 5 seconds? hooray for boobies! __________________

01-20-2005, 07:03 PM	#10
HigherGirl USER INFO » Status: INK'ed Posts: 914 Joined: Jan 2003 Currently: Offline	HD..... That was great, I needed a laugh. Where do you get this stuff?

01-20-2005, 09:33 PM	#12
Mulletman Forum Diplomat USER INFO » Status: Rising Sun Posts: 4,161 Joined: Sep 2002 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." -- Billy Crystal "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." -- Jerry Seinfeld "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." -- Robin Williams Exactly, its as if they red my mind! __________________ Intellectial Giant (Social Outcast) Quote: (Originally Posted by JenRN) Maybe it's time for some Mullet magic! He can do his Hoffa thing again! Quote: (Originally Posted by Harvey) Women must adore you.

01-20-2005, 11:40 PM	#13
RMadd USER INFO » Status: Found The Real Posts: 10,546 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) every 2 to 5 seconds? well being a man myself i doubt its that often but ummmm its probably not too far from the truth lol. man if the girls could have our brains for just 10 minutes they would become lesbians lol. yeah, i don't know if it's that often, but, then again, it prolly avgs out when you think about it for a few secs or mins on end lol __________________

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