aussie's joke thread

[guitardude1985]

Ok, here goes....

A little boy asks his dad, "dad what does a pussy look like?" and the dad says before or after sex? the little boy asks before sex and the dad says...well it's a beautifull thing, like pink rose pedals. Then the boy asks what about after sex? The dad says....well....ever seen a bulldog eat mayonasie?

[GregS]

Lmao

[aussiecreeder]

how to spell relief?
FART

this one isn't really that funny but i guess its kind of clever...

1. He has only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he
done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been very limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his
results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use
human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by
drowning his subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them
from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the
book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his
students failed his test.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a
mountaintop.
17. He's been known to associate with prostitutes.

[aussiecreeder]

What did the hurricane say to the coconut?
Hold on to your nuts, its going to be a hell of a blow-job!