2 new songs that need critique

[metalanus]

www.purevolume.com/eyemouth


the songs are #3 ennui which is a song I did vocals on but its actually an enemy of anathema song

and # 4 which is an eyemouth song. i may have posted a link for it a while back when it was very raw but this is the finished version save for a few adjustments on vocals

[inside_us_all04]

I really like safeplace.. Its pretty good reminds me a bit of Cold.. Maybe if possible could you post the lyrics?

[metalanus]

hmm cold. Im not sure what it is about it that sounds like them. I think its more along the lines of softer staind or seether. I like cold though could you please expound why it reminds you of cold.

take your happy pills
and an ounce of denial
to mask the pain
sustain the liar

pretend the life you live
is the life you desire
pretend the hand you hold
lifts you higher

cover your hands and feet
their bleeding red
from living in a broken home
broken glass in your bed

pretend to hold together
like the cup in your hand
pretend it fills you up
but its empty there is nothing

theres a disconnect
when your afraid to let go
a distancing from us
please come home
your decsions are your battle
but were all wounded here
listen to us now
we all care
this is your safe place

its ok to make mistakes
but to live in one is fraud
when so many create your out
when a lifes been spent to make you a safeplace

and im not sure if you listened to December but thats kinda like safe place #2 cause it continues on the same theme of family love centered around the issue of suicide. Both are about my sister and both I reference a symbolic "cup"

[Dogstar]

Quote:

pretend the life you live
is the life you desire
pretend the hand you hold
lifts you higher

I like that part a lot.

[inside_us_all04]

[quote=metalanus]hmm cold. Im not sure what it is about it that sounds like them. I think its more along the lines of softer staind or seether. I like cold though could you please expound why it reminds you of cold.

the lyrics remind me alot of their new album "a differant kind of pain" along with the guitar work, but just me i do adore Staind tho....

[Rocketqueen]

Quote: (Originally Posted by Dogstar)

I like that part a lot.

yes me to Doggy we all got a facade or in contempt of change i like that part but i found this one more to my appeal, YOUR decsions are your battle but we are all wounded here Awsome we do get wounded a lot by the descions we make but we have to Acknowlege all paths and see where we made mistake and that how we learn never to make that same one again and then if we,ve been through enough like all of us that have been woundedwe can see it was not a mistake at all but some like a voyage and we can say i would have missed if i did not trust in a high power like a warrior coming out of battle and came back with his mind in the right place