Sweetheart, you need help. You really need to go talk to your mother, family or a counselor of some sort. Depression, anxiety, stress are normal factors of life, but when it gets to the point in which it controls a large percentage of your life you might need to go talk to someone. We can sit here and help you through this all you want but it wont have the same effect of a spoken conversation. Sometimes just talking (literally) makes a huge difference. No one will judge you, this is high school. we all went through this at one point or another so we all here know you feel. when we say it will get better, we're not kidding. High school was a bitch for a lot of us, but look. we are all here, we all alive, and we all got over it. All I can tell you is just hang in there. If a bully starts anything with you, stand up for yourself, just be smart about it. Dont come out swinging because you will not win. You said that in one of your classes you are the only female. Deal with it, I know you dont like it and I know you feel very uncomfortable about it, but its the only thing you can do. The last thing you want is to make it obvious. Then everybody in that class will start to bother you, not just that one jerk. Its better to be the quiet person that no one knows, than the scared twitchy one that gets everyones attention.
I personally cannot comprehend the idea behind this self mutulization. I have this "shit happens - deal with and get over it" theory that i live by. thats why very little things phase me. So probably my advise wont prove to be very helpful to you or anyone but probably the smartest thing i could you on this is to go talk to your mom about this. Or if you pay my airfare and hotel and take care of these people for you
