[Rulesdontapply]

I hate myself for this / For doing this again
For feeding my hope
Because there is no reason
Not in hope
So I’m letting the hope in me die / but don’t ask yourself why
Because I fill my head with wishes
All the wishing from my heart / But I also hate my heart
I hate that it cares
Because in caring it will hurt / And that pain lives in me always
All of my days
Wasted because I cared
But the pain creates a truth / That every day with you comes hundreds on my own
While my heart fades to stone
And I don’t want to be alone
I want to care for you / I want to need you
But I will someday bleed for you
And you will wash your hands of me
Pretending I’m ok
And I’ll pretend I don’t care / But I’ll still want you here
Although I’ll know you don’t need me
And that hollowness in me will consume / Tearing open the wounds
Bleeding dry the hollowness inside
Leaving nothing in me living
Only wishing / Caring / wanting / somehow needing you
And I will never have these things / only the pain that emptiness brings
And someday far from now / alone in my room
That emptiness will consume / Taking me over
Taking me away
And the last of my strength will say
I need you / I hate me