[GarrisonMC]

Hey, I liked it alot, some things could be changed to make the rythm go smoother like

When you see me crying,
Like a bloody moon,
Don’t ask why,
I hold everything inside of me.
And this is how I let,
My feelings out.
And this is how,
You see my inside,
The inside I don’t want to be noticed.

Could go like this

When you see me cry,
Like a bloody moon,
Don’t ask why,
I hold everything inside of me.
And this is how I let,
My feelings out.
And what you see,
Is all that you get,
So leave me alone, before I shout

But its very electric, and the words are so vivid and very strong, I really like the part that goes like this

Now you see what I see,
Now you feel what I feel.
But you don’t have a clue what I feel.
You will never know my pain.

Keep goin, you may make a good poet/songwriter, or maybe some day if its your dream, a singer.

Don't get me wrong, I like the song, but it's just a bit of constructive critisism.