[Rune]

ok i'll put this as direct as i can, no butter, no salt, straight truth:

you need to listen to the song over and over again.

Next try playing it with the song as closely as possible

Listening to your recording, aside from the atrocious sounding instrument doing the vocal melody (just try doing the actual guitar part for now), it seems that you don't know the rhythm of the song very much at all.

You seem to know the notes, just not how they all fit together, go back to the song and listen, then try again.