basically, Light Is Life....man is violent when
taught violence...and kind, loving, etc. when
taught in kind...
my origional comment of the human race IN GENERAL being violent in nature is seen every day...
no one can come to God except by their own devices...no one can make them do it...it must be something that each individual is ready to do in their own time...not the time of others....we can learn the motions...but the cup can not be filled when the pitcher is empty...and that is what it's like when we know of God...but do not accept what is being offered...
we as human beings need to learn what is out there and make a
consious choice to follow the path of God, as Christ said, seek and ye shall find...and until we do that, we just don't really understand...i believe that God is also infinite patience...and we all know that good things come to those that wait....
your journey sounds like it has taken you to where you NEEDED to go...and you should be at this moment...some of us take longer than others to get there, but it's always a "personal" trip and we never stop on our spiritual journey's...for everything we learn/ have learned is of benifit to us.