That's a lot to respond to in one post Ralphy so I would like to break it down and go from there if you don't mind...
First lets establish who you are. I was at the original Creed Board and only posted in the F/R forum for over 2 years and would like to know what your username was. Mine has never changed... Although you criticize the environment mindset at the time you were there, perhaps you missed all of the good conversations I held with sci-fi, scorchwound, bo-evil (true black metal), as well as several other "disbelievers"... If you did then you missed the best two years (imo). Several intelligent conversations were spread across the world and it opened new doors for everyone involved. I am not a fundie, nor do I follow any sheep. Quite frankly if you recall I am quite like you in my political views and went through what you did during childhood as if we were brothers... I will admit that place could get nasty (Lord knows), but all in all it was a growing experience for me and if you took advantage of the multitudes of thoughts and opinions I believe it did touch you in some way...
Second, your childhood is just that. Childhood. I am no therapist but from what I have learned these can be your most influential years and from what you have told me you had quite the negative experience when it comes to religion. That's okay though, as did I. As we mature, the idealisms force fed to us via the church do seem arrogant and meaningless when it comes to real life situations, but that's not their intent. Your life's what you make it, not what God or Buddha or anyone can... This you need to understand before you can evaluate why you feel the way you feel. I would love to pray to pass a test, but that's not going to make it happen. Not that alone anyway. In retrospect, if I received everything I have prayed for in my life it probably would have killed me. My point? You won't receive anything you don't need to experience what you need to run your race on this crazy ball.
God is no Santa and religion isn't here for us to live on wants and needs, it's a faith based inner working that allows you to be the best you can be and use your own tools to attain that spiritually. True it's a mindset, a very hard one at that, but it's your belief that governs your trials and tribulations.
I will let this ride for now but I would like to know if we have already met, and leave you with what I always offered at the old Creed Board:
No one can prove that God does not exist. And no one (but God Himself) can prove that God does exist.
The best that either side of this question can do is to present evidence supporting their position.
As someone who truly believes in the existence of God, I see overwhelming evidence that God exists and that the Bible is true.
Perspective makes a big difference. One person looks at a glass as half full, another sees it as half empty. Right now we know where we stand, but my mission is to share a drink with you, not argue the measure of it's contents.
I look forward to getting to know you Ralphy.
Peace,
Heaven
