[bilal]

(i didnt find any thread sayin "LONG RANDOM AND CRAZY THOUGHTS/ THEORY....so i spilled it here)

This other day.............i was pondering over the idea of death.............surely i am gona face it someday................i was sitting and then I started to look at my hands, legs and all the stuff............i was wondering that when i say I .......when I refer to myself ..........where am I then...........where this I that i refer to , is? ............i mean.... I kinda begain a search for my self inside my own body.............i was looking at my hand and I realised that I am not inside my hand.............then I looked at my feets and I said surely I am not inside my feet too.............. I looked at my chest....and it didnt felt right for me to accept that I am inside my heart..............heck.... I havent ever even seen my heart...........not that I want too...........then I thought..may be I am inside my eyes............cause I see from em.......thats the most closest to me...but may be its just because I see from em.............there are people who are blind too............so am I inside my head........am I nothing but a piece of brains........which will smell like shit if its brouhgt outa this skull .........these thoughts gave me different perspective to look at my self right there.......... i mean....looking at my hands, my legs, lungs and all.........they all are serving and worrking.....doing their primary purpose..........that is to sever the body.....keep it alive, safe, healthy and thats just what their purpose is...........to keep my body in good health and this is being controlled by brains....which sends the stimulies and signals to rest of the parts to do what they are suppose to do................right there and then...........i felt really alone and strager inside my own body.......i mean..........i am lost ......i dunno where i am................then the concept of soul comes in............and then i realised that when i refer to myself as " I ".......its not my hands or legs or my ass or my head........its really the soul that i am refffering too.........and every one do that.........those who believe in souls and spirits and those who dont........we all in a way are familliar with the concept of soul.....and in our sub-concious we are nothing but soul..............now......if my soul is just something that i really cant point too looking at my body........it means that my soul is independent of my body.........so..........it means that all the things the body is upto.......doing all the time.....the blood rushing and gushing...the asshole pooping.........the breath comiing in and out..........specially the breath........the air......the lungs.......... i mean........the first sign of death.....death as we call it.........is that the body stops breathing........and the heart stops funcitioning and the bloods stops moving and body starts loosing temperature.............arteries start to become thick as the blood starts to clot evey where....intestines becoming filled with air and gassess of decay inside.......and on and on and on..............but yeh....the first sign of death ...or know I should say....the death of the body.........is that it stops breathing.............but i ask myself a question..........am I......... THE "I" ...........as i just discovered............am I really depended on this air.........the breath...the oxygen ............i just realised that alll the physical that i am.....my hands ........my legs........they all are working to satisfy my body.........but i dont find my self inside my own body.......so is it when my body will stop breathing.........this brain will stop functioning...........will then i really find my soul..........will my soul....or which i think i really am.......a soul.........which, right know, i find very independent of all the body and air and the food.................which i am very much sure is a separte entity somhow stuck with this body.........will it really find an escape when the body stops its miraculous workings ................... soul......................damn..................