[aussiecreeder]

Guys is your most precious one not letting you hog the remote which is your God-given right? Girls is your honey leaving the toilet-seat up? Then get revenge with these beauties......(if you actually really do use these I take no responsblity for any divorces or kicks to the groin as a result lol)

Guys:
"No honey those jeans don't make you look fat...your ass does."
"They say if you meet a girl's mum, you'll know what your girl will look like in 20 years time. Well at least you are good-looking now."
"Darling I think I have bigger breasts than you."
"Did I see that woman? You mean the one with impossibly long legs, perfect smile, great ass and gorgous breasts? No I didn't see her!"
"No honey I never look at other women. Since marrying you I have never, ever looked at another woman."
"No its okay honey, I don't really mind missing out on a night with the boys. They would just be doing immature and boring things like going to a bar and chasing young pretty things. I would much rather watch the "The Notebook" with you for the 30th time and hear you cry like a blabbering baby."


Girls:
"Awww look its so cute."
"Does it come in black?"
"No darling I don't mind that you got fired from yet another job. Paying the rent is so overated and besides this way I can see you more often."
"Oh wow its a new personal best, you lasted 3.22 seconds!"
"Oh thank God you're finished!"
"My ex-boyfriend had one like that. But then again I haven't dated since I was 14."
"No I don't mind that you fell asleep during the priests speech for our wedding."
"No telling a joke at my auntie's funeral was not bad taste."
"No honey, "adjusting yourself" at my parent's place is perfectly fine. I also enjoy your jokes at my mum's expense."