[Julbright]

GEEK 2004 - regarding your comment about sending someone to find you ----

Unfortunately, I can't really act in a professional capacity in a forum like this. If you had told me this in person and I knew you, I would be ethically and legally obligated to try to get you in a safe place. Here, though, all I can do is pray for you as a friend, and tell you what I think you need to know. I can tell you that there are people on this board who wanted to try to find ways to find you if it it became clear that you were going to attempt to hurt yourself. I only tell you that so that you can see that people care about you - even though we don't "know" you - the world is a very big place and there are so many more friendly caring people than the cowards who bully you at school. Dont' forget that. I felt HS for the most part was miserable but college/after high school ROCKED. When I was in HS I was shy and kind on the outskirts. In college, I obtained a job in the residence halls and promoted as high as one can go, I was on homecoming court, I was elected all school vice president (in a univeristy of 6,000 people), had a paid grad assitantship that allowed me to go to graduate school for free, and I made the most amazing friends in the world. I have friends who didn't go to college and the same things happened in their life. Even though it may seem that others in your school are happy and confident, they have insecurities and worries too. That is probably what is behind their bullying! Just hang in there and believe that things do and will change.

Listening to Creed can help so much. Do you have a video of the creed behind the music from VH1? When I listen to stapp's history it just amazes me. He once felt like you and look at him now - on top of the world.

My last piece of rambling here - remember that the only thing you really can control in this life is yourself. Be aware of your feelings and behaviors and try to be the best you you can be. Don't compare yourself to others and such. Decide what you like and don't like in life and live true to yourself. Only then can you really be happy. There will always be someone who disagrees with you or makes different choices. There is no one right answer. Be the best that you can be.