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Old 05-09-2006, 11:00 PM   #37
bilal
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Status: Said Eyes
Posts: 4,615
Joined: Feb 2006
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Re: share a joke thread

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the
men: Make the
woman
happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do
something she
dislikes
and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's
the
way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make
the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+
But return
with
Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something
(+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat
with a college
buddy
(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar
(+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your
face is painted
the
colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'ROBOCOP' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans
(-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get
rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy
jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts
(-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no
matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)




You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen,
displaying what
looks
like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at
the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep
(-10000)








Do all the good you can,by all the means you can,in all
the ways you
can,in
all the places you can,at all the times you can,to all
the people you
can,as
long as you ever can.
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