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Status: Naked Toddler
Joined: Nov 2005
Fire Rapids (short story, warning, long)
Fire Rapids By Morgan Shaver
It would take a lot to explain, or even start to explain the way she felt. Curled up beside her bed in a little ball on the floor. She felt trapped, in a prison, and she felt alone. That feeling, aloneness, was so strong in her weak mind. She was numb, unfeeling, and unmoving as the music played in her ears. She made no attempts to block the sound of the music. After all, she thought bitterly, it was My Own Prison. Her mind laughed, but it wasn’t pleasant laughter. It was bitter, bitter with hatred and sorrow, like if the Cheshire cat tried to frown. But for her it was the complete opposite. All her feelings of hatred drifted upon her mother. Her mother had become a wall, a wall which blocked her from the world. She felt anger, anger so much that her very mind turned red. Her life was gone, snatched from her.
The cuts on her arm made up for half of the escape, oh yes. Escape, there was always an escape. She planned it in her mind, she penned it on paper. She would run, run far. But of course that would never do, her mother would catch her. But then again her mother threatened to throw her in a psyche ward or in some prison. Anywhere, she thought, anywhere away from her mother. Her very thoughts burned, burned with escape. Her mother had tried and failed to snatch the fire away from Fire Rapids. Her spirit still burned with eternal flame, perhaps even stronger now. Her mother had no control over her anymore. And her mother knew that, and was making vain attempts to regain it. Such as a person who has lost their glasses and are groping about to try and find them. She was her own person, young as she was.
She needed help, for that she was sure, but then again who cared about her? If there ever was a person they where snatched from her by the wall, her mother. Blocked out of her life. Sure she had 4 years left of her mother, but her mother was snatching everything from her and giving nothing back. In 4 years she would be stripped bare of everything she needed for living. She was already close to bare in this state. She pushed on; she was going to fight this. She was, no, is. She will never change her mind. Never, there is nothing left to discourage her already made up mind. She leered out the window, her eyes like fire, threatening to burn anyone who got caught in their gaze. Her fists clenched and the music surrounding her.
Tears rand down her face like rain. She had no control over them, they where like closing your eyes when you sneeze, there is nothing you can do. As the tears ran down her cheeks she surveyed the small room. Anything she wanted had been provided, but they where give and get. Give her the material possessions, and gain the power. Her mother needed that power, that control. She feeds off of it, giving herself strength. Even if it means sucking the spirit out of her own daughter. Her friend fed off her fire, spirit, but he gave back. Gave her back life. Her mother continued to take, and nothing would ever be given back. She breathed in, sucking on the cold air, giving her weak body life. She let it out slowly, all the while the tears still coming.
Kept coming like little missiles bombing her face below. And her mind, oh her mind, was the battlefield. Pain, pain beyond all comprehension filled her. Has piled on every moment spent with her mother. The only power she has is her loyalty to her friends, she shields them from her mother. Shielded their spirits so her mother wouldn’t feed off them too. In a way she was like a vampire. But instead of blood she fed off people’s life force. She wanted power and control and if she didn’t get it, oh Lord fear the wrath. But she would never allow her mother to feed off anyone, no. She shielded the people from her. In a way like standing in front of someone with arms out, shielding them from a speeding car about to crash into them.
But in doing that she grew weaker, her fire dimmer. All the time he was in her life he gave her new fire, breaths came, and she could live. But her mother, wanting to regain her rein of terror snatched him from her like she took everything else. She snatched DM from her, the family she never had. She took and took and took and life was getting harder to live. She would escape, oh yes. But she needed help, help help… she repeated the words as if sending out a silent S.O.S. Help she needed, oh God how she needed. She was powerless, spirit dimming. Like someone crawling up a mountain who needs that one hand to grab them and pull them up over that last step to the top.
She desperately tried to crawl alone, he has taught her solo wasn’t right, and true friends you shouldn’t fight. But she no longer had him, and she would crawl alone or die trying. As she crawled on in her mind she laid upon the floor. This time screaming with the tears, screaming. She was helpless, she was helpless. She was screaming and gasping and the hot, wet, tears still running, running down her face. She was crying and screaming and gasping for air. And as everything started to turn black she kept screaming and crying and gasping until the darkness overcame her.
They say no man’s an island but I tend to disagree
I guess they’ve never seen my island,
And where it lies at sea
A wounded man sounds desperate when he’s lost all his belief
Can you look into my eyes and say you won’t betray me
Tabula Rasa from The Dark Poet!