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Old 01-07-2004, 11:59 PM   #15
crest tattoo
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Status: Wound Up
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Ok, I'm going to take a huge step here and say something I really haven't talked about much. I did it when I was 18 or 19. I was going through post-tramatic stress symdrome and didn't have any idea why I was doing it or that I was really trying to get rid of the stress I had suffered from a date rape. I was in denial, but the pain I felt inside and anxiousness due to self-blame, somehow if I felt pain on the outside, it wasn't there on the inside. I was actually suicidal from it and went to the hospital for a while and seen this happening on another patient; unfortunately for me, it showed me how to deal with pain at that time. I stopped doing it shortly after I started. I had never heard of the actual disease or seen anything on TV about it, just seen this girl at the hospital. It seemed to help at the time. Years later, I got counseling and then realized that I had suffered from the rape and was in denial at that age.
Can't believe I wrote this here. I've never told anyone about it since the girl that I lived with at the time.
I'm not a freak BTW. It was a stage of my life I suffered through but am fine now. So, it's not just freaks, obsessive-compulsive people. I'm not proud of it by any means. And I'm not asking for sympathy or apologies here. Just wanted to clarify some things. The only freak I am a Creedfreak
When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!
God may not always answer when you call, but He's always on time.
Hoorah for a child that makes it through if there's any way because the answer lies in you.

Last edited by crest tattoo : 01-08-2004 at 12:02 AM.
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