CreedFeed Community

CreedFeed Community (http://www.creedfeed.com/community/index.php)
-   Chat-O-Rama (http://www.creedfeed.com/community/forumdisplay.php?f=10)
-   -   Guitars vs. Women (need I say more?) (http://www.creedfeed.com/community/showthread.php?t=8451)

Higher_Desire 01-17-2005 12:59 AM

Guitars vs. Women (need I say more?)
 
REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. A guitar has a volume knob
2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one
3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
4. You can unplug a guitar
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.


REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS

1. Women are more fun when the power goes out
2. You can't get your guitar wet
3. Ever try to screw a guitar?
4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4"
5. A guitar won't beg to be played
6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
8. Guitars aren't very aggressive
9. A guitar won't play you back
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
11. A guitar won't scratch *your* back
12. A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk
13. A guitar doesn't care who plays it
14. You can't play two guitars at once
15. You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back)
16. It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
18. If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.
19. You can't marry a rich guitar.
20. Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime.
21. Guitars don't taste very good.
22. A guitar won't give you head.


H-D :pimp:

hayley 01-17-2005 03:02 AM

:laugh:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Higher_Desire
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more

LMAO

Quote:

Originally Posted by Higher_Desire
22. A guitar won't give you head.

That was the best on there. :laugh:

Those were awesome :D:D

aussiecreeder 01-17-2005 03:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Higher_Desire
[b]REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN
6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it



lol

RMadd 01-17-2005 05:10 AM

man, dude, these are awesome!
my favorites:
Quote:

Originally Posted by Higher_Desire
REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.


REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS

3. Ever try to screw a guitar?
4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4"
6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
14. You can't play two guitars at once
17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
21. Guitars don't taste very good.
22. A guitar won't give you head.


H-D :pimp:


i must say, combining 3 & 4 from the 2nd list can be quite painful.

Trimontana 01-17-2005 07:26 AM

Colin, those are hilarious man. I cant choose one.Great found!!!! :D

Higher_Desire 01-17-2005 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RMadd
i must say, combining 3 & 4 from the 2nd list can be quite painful.

Yeah.

Two more to add to the first list that I thought of...
23 - Guitars don't get jealous when you play with other guitars.
24 - You can trade in an old guitar for a newer model and not have anyone be mad at you.


H-D :pimp:

creedsister 01-17-2005 02:13 PM

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: i found it very helpful ;)

goddess_bb 01-17-2005 02:19 PM

too funny...did you come up with all of those higher??

hayley 01-18-2005 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aussiecreeder
lol

I just waited because I knew you would comment on the whipped cream one .. LMAO ;)

aussiecreeder 01-18-2005 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by - hayley -
I just waited because I knew you would comment on the whipped cream one .. LMAO ;)


hahahahha i saw this pic in some mag or paper today and it showed this guy licking cream of this girl's naval. i thought i must do that someday! :naughty: :laugh:

hayley 01-18-2005 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aussiecreeder
hahahahha i saw this pic in some mag or paper today and it showed this guy licking cream of this girl's naval.

:nono: Michael, how many times have I told you not to look at dirty magazines! It does nothing but rott your brain! ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by aussiecreeder
i thought i must do that someday! :naughty: :laugh:

:pant: lmao

Anna1011 01-18-2005 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Higher_Desire
REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. A guitar has a volume knob
2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one
3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
4. You can unplug a guitar
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.


REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS

1. Women are more fun when the power goes out
2. You can't get your guitar wet
3. Ever try to screw a guitar?
4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4"
5. A guitar won't beg to be played
6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
8. Guitars aren't very aggressive
9. A guitar won't play you back
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
11. A guitar won't scratch *your* back
12. A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk
13. A guitar doesn't care who plays it
14. You can't play two guitars at once
15. You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back)
16. It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
18. If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.
19. You can't marry a rich guitar.
20. Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime.
21. Guitars don't taste very good.
22. A guitar won't give you head.


H-D :pimp:


haha dude they are real funny

Xterminator27 01-18-2005 11:37 AM

2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one

lol thats the best right there =)

aussiecreeder 01-18-2005 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by - hayley -
:nono: Michael, how many times have I told you not to look at dirty magazines! It does nothing but rott your brain! ;)

I wasen't a dirty magazine I swear! :D I think it was Inside Sport or something........


Quote:

Originally Posted by - hayley -
:pant: lmao


*Runs to supermarket and buys choc topping and whipped cream* LMAO

Higher_Desire 01-19-2005 02:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goddess_bb
too funny...did you come up with all of those higher??

I'll let you decide that. :D And I won't tell you if you're wrong. lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by aussiecreeder
I wasen't a dirty magazine I swear! :D I think it was Inside Sport or something........

Well, some guys look at women as sport... Not me. I'm just sayin'. And, "Inside"... herrrmmmmm... lol.


H-D :pimp:


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:36 PM.

Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2004 Steve Caponetto. All Rights Reserved.