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-   -   The Serpent (http://www.creedfeed.com/community/showthread.php?t=5432)

Dogstar 01-05-2004 03:51 AM

The Serpent
 
What more do you want
I’m spent
Insatiable thirst
Can’t quench
You go to the well again
I’m dry
Bottomless desire
Drains me

Can’t feed your hunger
I’m poor
Bloated leeches
Can’t shake
You gloat high and mighty
I’m low
Corporate sword
Strikes me

Someday when you’re not looking
You’ll get what’s coming
Snake bit and unable to fight
You’ll wish you had done me right

You think you know me
I’m shackled
Oppressive mentor
Can’t hide
You cast your bloodstained web
I’m trapped
Self-serving master
Depletes me

Are you happy now
I’m gone
Relentless chase
Can’t win
You crush a willing soldier
I’m wounded
Black days and nights
Consume me

Someday when you’re not looking
You’ll get what’s coming
Snake bit and unable to fight
You’ll wish you had done me right

hide 01-05-2004 03:59 AM

You think you know me
I’m shackled
Oppressive mentor
Can’t hide
You cast your bloodstained web
I’m trapped
Self-serving master
Depletes me

Are you happy now
I’m gone
Relentless chase
Can’t win
You crush a willing soldier
I’m wounded
Black days and nights
Consume me

i really like these two verses another good job! Dark, Angry yet eloquent good stuff!

Check my Disease post about the DSL CD!

Dogstar 01-05-2004 04:06 AM

Thanks, hide... I've been a little ticked off at my boss of late :D...hehehe, better to express it this way than saying some things that could get me in trouble or fired, hehehe...

Quote:

Check my Disease post about the DSL CD!


Done!

hide 01-05-2004 04:09 AM

[quote=Dogstar]Thanks, hide... I've been a little ticked off at my boss of late :D...hehehe, better to express it this way than saying some things that could get me in trouble or fired, hehehe...

Cool and yes that is a great idea i'm sure you like having gas and electricity! LOL That poem could equally apply to one of my housemates who to be nice isn't doing his fair share.

Dogstar 01-05-2004 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hide
Cool and yes that is a great idea i'm sure you like having gas and electricity! LOL That poem could equally apply to one of my housemates who to be nice isn't doing his fair share.



Hahahah, yeah, I'm liking my gas and electricity...too funny...That's so cool that it could apply to your housemate. I'm hoping my writing, though inspired by something specific, can apply to more than what I was thinking about. Does that make any sense, hehe? It's 4:10 a.m. and I'm surprised my brain cells are still functioning...

hide 01-05-2004 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogstar
Hahahah, yeah, I'm liking my gas and electricity...too funny...That's so cool that it could apply to your housemate. I'm hoping my writing, though inspired by something specific, can apply to more than what I was thinking about. Does that make any sense, hehe? It's 4:10 a.m. and I'm surprised my brain cells are still functioning...


4:10 am? wo don't you have to work for that tyant tomorrow? LOL It's always good when someone can apply it to a different situation then what is was intended for. Strange how when you write something it is so clear to you but others can interept it to mean something different.

Dogstar 01-05-2004 04:27 AM

Yeah, that's what I love about writing! I work nights anyway, hehehe, but I do have tomorrow and Tuesday off. Those are my regular days off...It's already Monday where you are, though, right? It's technically Monday a.m., but it's really not *tomorrow* until I've gone to bed :D. So in my mind, it's still Sunday night.

hide 01-05-2004 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dogstar
Yeah, that's what I love about writing! I work nights anyway, hehehe, but I do have tomorrow and Tuesday off. Those are my regular days off...It's already Monday where you are, though, right? It's technically Monday a.m., but it's really not *tomorrow* until I've gone to bed :D. So in my mind, it's still Sunday night.


you work nights how is it sleeping during the day? Its nearly 9:00 P:M Monday night here!

Dogstar 01-05-2004 04:47 AM

I'm used to it. Never have been much of a morning person...I typically go to bed between 4 and 5 and get up between 11 a.m. and noon...

TeriB19 01-05-2004 06:07 AM

I knew exactly what the source of this one was!! Great expression, Kerri!!!

Torn Signs 01-05-2004 08:08 AM

Awesome job, keep it up!

Aimee 01-05-2004 09:38 AM

Damn Girl, that's awesome! So when does band practice start???

Dogstar 01-05-2004 11:30 AM

LMAO, Aimee, thanks!

Quote:

I knew exactly what the source of this one was!!

I figured you see right through that one, Teri :D...Yeah, I still want to eat, so better rant this way, LOL.

Thanks much, Torn signs!

njcreedite 01-05-2004 12:02 PM

"Someday when you’re not looking
You’ll get what’s coming
Snake bit and unable to fight
You’ll wish you had done me right"


Can't you just hear James Hetfield (Metallica)
doing his trademark growl and evil laugh? :D
Way Cool Dogstar.

Dogstar 01-05-2004 12:07 PM

Hehehehe, thanks, njcreedite!!!


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