Thank you so much, Dogstar and Joy. :D I appreciate the support. Joy, you are so right, not everyone is hurtful. For most of my life I lived with so much fear. But thanks to my own growth and to all of you as well, I'm not full of fear anymore. Just ask any of the CreedFeed Festers from FL. I got on an airplane for the first time last May and flew by myself. The old me would never have done that. :)

and ever since schoool started up again....literally every day I think about when I was in Jr. High when these bully's bullyied ( how ever you want to say or put it......)me...It was so f**king hard for me not to break down. If I DID break down it was when I was when I was in my room ...with the door closed.....just cryiin .....I even cryied my self to sleep......The teachers didnt do a G.D. thing about it....

G2004, most the time, bullies are jealous of the victim, remember that. Once you get OUT of school, you realize that. Stand tall and proud. You do have all of us here to vent to. Obviously, there's many that care about you at this place. Is there a counselor at school? Are you hooked up with a church at all? I'm not going all holy roller on ya, but sometimes there's youth groups there. Don't let the bullies win, which if you hurt yourself or get upset, is what you're doing! Stick with us, at the least. What else can we do?

...I've been going in and out of depression ever since I was in the early 9th grade....never really got any help what so ever....just kinda dealt with it...Tryed so f**kin hard to tell my mom....if I did .....I got even more depressed then what i was earlyier...I never saw a consuler ....execept one time....didnt really gone too well...like the whole time I was talkin to her...she had f**kin smile on her face like she was Mrs. Happy or something...

I dont go to chruch anymore....Never really liked chruch anyhow...even if I did want to go ...all of suden...parents would wonder why...

btw....I have a big problem talkin to my parents when it comes to this kind of stuff....

I have to go for a few mins....i`ll be back on in about 30 mins or so...

G2004, stick with us. Keep talking. If Julie PMs you, talk to her. She's wonderful and sooo caring. Like I said, if you don't find a counselor you like, try another if you can. You really have to week through them. There are good ones there.

Joy is right, Kim. It took me awhile to find a therapist I clicked with but when you find a good one, it can make all of the difference in the world. I've dealt with depression myself so I can understand where you're coming from. By the sound of it, I was alot like you growing up. I always felt like an outsider at school, sometimes I felt that way at home too. And I had my share of bullying too. We're here for you and I'm proof that things do get better. I'm so much happier and content with myself now. You're a good person, remember that.:hugs:

Geek2004, I think that you should be very proud of yourself for starting this thread, it was a very brave thing to do. Give yourself a huge amount of credit here.

Look what you started!! I am so very impressed with what everyone else has come on and said. There is great support here for you, and you have taken the first step to receiving help. I must admit that I didn't know much about this subject, but I am now learning. Take the support of the professionals, and the people that have personal experiance on this thread, and continue to go from there.

There is a lot of love here, and it's being given to you.

G2004 - I am so worried about you as are many in this thread! Please come back and chat with us

I am telling you as a professional that there is help and the people who shared their stories here have proved that.

the other thing I want to ask of you is to please consider the people around you both in your life and here on the feed. The concern for you is at a huge high and not knowing if you are planning on hurting yourself is scaring us.

Please remember that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Problems hurt so much at the time but things do change. There are so many successful happy adults who were bullied as younger people. and most teenagers have a hard time communicating with their parents. YOU ARE NOT ALONE even if you feel that way right this minute.

You're so right, Julie. One of the revelations I've had going through all that I have in life is that I'm never alone. Like Creed says in so many of their songs such as Don't Stop Dancing and in Inside Us All, specifically the part in my signature. Kim, their words and music have helped me so much the last two years, I hope you can find some of the same comfort and healing.

Geek_2004, Joy is right about the bullying...Stand tall. I know it seems hard right now. Believe me, that I can relate to. I was bullied mercilessly by five girls all through the sixth grade and I suffered in silence because there really wasn't the help available to me at that time. Schools today have a lot more resources. Anyway, I found a way to settle it once and for all and it may not have been the best option, but it worked. I'm not sure it would work in today's world. Nevertheless, that's when I became a much stronger person and learned to really stand up for myself. It also made me a more compassionate person, for I vowed that I would never pick on or belittle another person because I knew how god-awful it made me feel inside. I just want you to know that you can get through it and come out the better for it, not that I would ever wish it on anyone.

geez, shit like this never happens at my school.
my school is like
Everyone loves everyone.

all teh ugly girls are like best friends with the hot girls.
noone really haits each other, everyone is good and happy with everyone, (at least from what i see) i never see any loners ore people getting picked on because it never happens. nothen bad ever happens, fights are extremly rare. there ARE no bullies, there ARE no cast outs. Everyone is peachy, and even new kids who just come no matter if their fat or whatnot always get tons of new friends in days.
This is at least in my grade level. But i have never seen shit like this stuff you talk about. and if there is one kid who picks on someone else, literally everyone gets pissed at him and such.
i go to a canadian catholic school.
but at times it can be worst (in drug busts, vandalism and illegal stuff) then anywhere else. but (in my grade level) noone haits anyone, everyone is so friendly, when i read shit like this, it somewhat confuses me why places would be like so.

Wow X, you are extremely lucky!! Maybe it's Canada, here school for kids is so hard it's not even funny, it's a big popularity contest and it's really pathetic. Count your blessings!!

Kim I shared my story in hopes you would see that bad things happen to everyone. As far as bullies are concrened believe me I've had my share The boys who stole me innocence i went to high school with. They were unmerciful to me. They did what they did to me and wrote my name on the boys bathroom wall and called me a slut! I was also heavy and the things people would say were horrible! But I got through it! Please as i read this there are soo many people here who care about you! If you can't talk to your parents and can't find a councelor try a teacher you might trust! Someone and all of us are always here for you! It will be a year for me soon that I have been on this board and I have to say the amount of support and loving people on here is amazing! Please,again just know we are here!