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TOMORROW'S RAIN, a poem (any feedback will be much appreciated!)
Shelter's protection,
I long for from the coming of tomorrow's rain. My life is imprisoned by gripping anguish, exclamated by crippling inner pain. Cold and shivering, I am trapped under the weight of its torrential downpour. I am drenched. I cannot breathe. I'll drown here like this, if I do not discover something more. I watch in horror as the second hand relays to me today is about to turn into another tomorrow. Desperately, I seek undetection in the depths of heavy shadows. I cling to my faith and hope, I find peace hidden in its deepest folds. If I can achieve this, perhaps, I will avoid the dreadful coming of tomorrow's rain. ©2003 L. A. |
Hi everyone, :)
This is my second post in the creative corner!! I will be so grateful for any comments or suggestions!! I thank you all in advance!! ~Honey~ :D |
Wow!! I'm not an authority on poetry but I really enjoy your work, Honey.:D I could feel the depth of the emotions as I read it.
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Honey,
I think that you have a wonderful grasp on words and know how to turn a phrase beautifully. I especially like how you trick your words and mold them into your own meaning, yet still manage to express something that is innately human. Aimee |
Hi Sheila, :D
Well, thank you so very much!! I am so happy you like my poetry and feel the emotions I put into my writing!! I appreciate you taking the time to leave a note, and I hope you will stop by and read more of my poetry in the future!! ~Honey~:) |
Hello Aimee, :)
I am so glad you read my poem. Thanks for leaving such a warm and kind note. It means so much hearing from such a wonderful writer as yourself!! It brings me such joy that you liked my poem. I hope you'll stop by again. Bye. ~Honey~ :D |
Quote:
You're welcome.:D Reading everyone's poems is inspiring me to give it a try myself. I've been feeling the need for another creative outlet and a different way to express myself so I'll let you know how it goes. |
All's I can say is wow! It really struck some chords in me. Thanks for sharing.
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I read and felt the fear, the sadness....yet you end it with a tiny spark of hope...very beautiful. Thank you
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Hey Sheila, :)
I hope you decide to give writing a try!! It is fun and excting to express yourself through writing!! I would love to read your work. I can't wait to hear how it's coming!! ~Honey~;) |
Hello Moonshine, :D
Thank you for the nice comment!! I am only happy to share my thoughts with everyone! Come again. It was nice hearing from you!! ~Honey~ :) |
Hi cjme, :)
I am so happy you liked my poem! I thought about it long and hard and decided I had to end it with a splinter of hope because one has to have faith and belief in oneself to face and overcome the challanges life, sometimes, brings. Thanks for your kind remarks. I hope you'll stop by again! ~Honey~:D |
Deeply Beautiful and Moving...I was touched by it...
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Hey goddess, :)
Thank you so much for giving me a read. I am pleased you felt the emotions I put into this poem. My best to you. ~Honey~ :D |
Yet again another very well written poem Honey;) I like this one as well:P
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