Thank you for sharing your story with us too, Iced. After reading yours, I feel the need to share my own since I see some similarities. I was sexually assaulted when I was a teenager and although I never cut myself, I found other unhealthy ways to cope with my feelings. Like Iced, I was lonely and never really felt like I belonged. My way of dealing with all of this was overeating. Even now, I'm working on dealing with my emotions without turning to food to numb myself or make myself feel better, knowing that it's only a temporary fix. Although it doesn't have the immediate impact as cutting yourself, in the long run, it's turned out to be destructive. It's effected my health and made me feel like a prisoner at times. Fortunately, with the help of a wonderful therapist, everything is getting better and I've noticed alot of personal changes in the last couple of years but I still have work to do.

Wow, all I can say is you guys are incredibly brave. :hugs: to everyone, and please, Geek_2004, if this is about you or a friend, please get you or that person help. This is very serious. People here have shown that you can get through it with help!

Boy, you start looking around and you realize how many of us have suffered from one thing or another. To all of you who are, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm so glad to hear you all are getting help. I went through my share of counselors before I found one that actually helped, and I've been doing well since. There'll always be flashbacks, but you learn how best to deal with them.
Iced...to you, I want you to know that sometimes you can find it easier to talk to people who are more casual than close, and you work things out in your head as you write too. Of course, there's more you need to do than just that, as it sounds you are. Thanks to you and Sheila for sharing your stories too. Not all people are hurtful. There are good people left in the world, a lot of them actually. So hang in there. Share, and give yourself a break sometimes.

Ok G2004, I looked up your profile, and I see you're reading this thread now. Please come around and let us all know you how you are.
Tomorrow, BTW, is your one year anniversary at the feed! :D

...I went back to school this past tuesday...Went to first block...come to find out i`m the only female out of 19 people....Feels like I`m being watched or something. ...I only have one friend in one class...I have absoulutiy no one to talk to at lunch....literally all the bullys that bullied me is in two of my classes....Thankfully they havent started up any bully sh!t yet...

Thank you so much, Dogstar and Joy. :D I appreciate the support. Joy, you are so right, not everyone is hurtful. For most of my life I lived with so much fear. But thanks to my own growth and to all of you as well, I'm not full of fear anymore. Just ask any of the CreedFeed Festers from FL. I got on an airplane for the first time last May and flew by myself. The old me would never have done that. :)

and ever since schoool started up again....literally every day I think about when I was in Jr. High when these bully's bullyied ( how ever you want to say or put it......)me...It was so f**king hard for me not to break down. If I DID break down it was when I was when I was in my room ...with the door closed.....just cryiin .....I even cryied my self to sleep......The teachers didnt do a G.D. thing about it....

G2004, most the time, bullies are jealous of the victim, remember that. Once you get OUT of school, you realize that. Stand tall and proud. You do have all of us here to vent to. Obviously, there's many that care about you at this place. Is there a counselor at school? Are you hooked up with a church at all? I'm not going all holy roller on ya, but sometimes there's youth groups there. Don't let the bullies win, which if you hurt yourself or get upset, is what you're doing! Stick with us, at the least. What else can we do?

...I've been going in and out of depression ever since I was in the early 9th grade....never really got any help what so ever....just kinda dealt with it...Tryed so f**kin hard to tell my mom....if I did .....I got even more depressed then what i was earlyier...I never saw a consuler ....execept one time....didnt really gone too well...like the whole time I was talkin to her...she had f**kin smile on her face like she was Mrs. Happy or something...

I dont go to chruch anymore....Never really liked chruch anyhow...even if I did want to go ...all of suden...parents would wonder why...

btw....I have a big problem talkin to my parents when it comes to this kind of stuff....

I have to go for a few mins....i`ll be back on in about 30 mins or so...

G2004, stick with us. Keep talking. If Julie PMs you, talk to her. She's wonderful and sooo caring. Like I said, if you don't find a counselor you like, try another if you can. You really have to week through them. There are good ones there.

Joy is right, Kim. It took me awhile to find a therapist I clicked with but when you find a good one, it can make all of the difference in the world. I've dealt with depression myself so I can understand where you're coming from. By the sound of it, I was alot like you growing up. I always felt like an outsider at school, sometimes I felt that way at home too. And I had my share of bullying too. We're here for you and I'm proof that things do get better. I'm so much happier and content with myself now. You're a good person, remember that.:hugs:

Geek2004, I think that you should be very proud of yourself for starting this thread, it was a very brave thing to do. Give yourself a huge amount of credit here.

Look what you started!! I am so very impressed with what everyone else has come on and said. There is great support here for you, and you have taken the first step to receiving help. I must admit that I didn't know much about this subject, but I am now learning. Take the support of the professionals, and the people that have personal experiance on this thread, and continue to go from there.

There is a lot of love here, and it's being given to you.

G2004 - I am so worried about you as are many in this thread! Please come back and chat with us

I am telling you as a professional that there is help and the people who shared their stories here have proved that.

the other thing I want to ask of you is to please consider the people around you both in your life and here on the feed. The concern for you is at a huge high and not knowing if you are planning on hurting yourself is scaring us.

Please remember that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Problems hurt so much at the time but things do change. There are so many successful happy adults who were bullied as younger people. and most teenagers have a hard time communicating with their parents. YOU ARE NOT ALONE even if you feel that way right this minute.

You're so right, Julie. One of the revelations I've had going through all that I have in life is that I'm never alone. Like Creed says in so many of their songs such as Don't Stop Dancing and in Inside Us All, specifically the part in my signature. Kim, their words and music have helped me so much the last two years, I hope you can find some of the same comfort and healing.

Geek_2004, Joy is right about the bullying...Stand tall. I know it seems hard right now. Believe me, that I can relate to. I was bullied mercilessly by five girls all through the sixth grade and I suffered in silence because there really wasn't the help available to me at that time. Schools today have a lot more resources. Anyway, I found a way to settle it once and for all and it may not have been the best option, but it worked. I'm not sure it would work in today's world. Nevertheless, that's when I became a much stronger person and learned to really stand up for myself. It also made me a more compassionate person, for I vowed that I would never pick on or belittle another person because I knew how god-awful it made me feel inside. I just want you to know that you can get through it and come out the better for it, not that I would ever wish it on anyone.

geez, shit like this never happens at my school.
my school is like
Everyone loves everyone.

all teh ugly girls are like best friends with the hot girls.
noone really haits each other, everyone is good and happy with everyone, (at least from what i see) i never see any loners ore people getting picked on because it never happens. nothen bad ever happens, fights are extremly rare. there ARE no bullies, there ARE no cast outs. Everyone is peachy, and even new kids who just come no matter if their fat or whatnot always get tons of new friends in days.
This is at least in my grade level. But i have never seen shit like this stuff you talk about. and if there is one kid who picks on someone else, literally everyone gets pissed at him and such.
i go to a canadian catholic school.
but at times it can be worst (in drug busts, vandalism and illegal stuff) then anywhere else. but (in my grade level) noone haits anyone, everyone is so friendly, when i read shit like this, it somewhat confuses me why places would be like so.

Wow X, you are extremely lucky!! Maybe it's Canada, here school for kids is so hard it's not even funny, it's a big popularity contest and it's really pathetic. Count your blessings!!

Kim I shared my story in hopes you would see that bad things happen to everyone. As far as bullies are concrened believe me I've had my share The boys who stole me innocence i went to high school with. They were unmerciful to me. They did what they did to me and wrote my name on the boys bathroom wall and called me a slut! I was also heavy and the things people would say were horrible! But I got through it! Please as i read this there are soo many people here who care about you! If you can't talk to your parents and can't find a councelor try a teacher you might trust! Someone and all of us are always here for you! It will be a year for me soon that I have been on this board and I have to say the amount of support and loving people on here is amazing! Please,again just know we are here!

I was bullied a lot in school to Kim :mad: I remember going home from school bauling all the time cuz of the way I was treated and I took it out on my family mostly cuz I couldn't do anything about it, I was to afraid to stick up for myself. I would go right to my room and barely left it. My family was really worried for me for a while there because I never left my room. I have days still now that I just avoid people cuz I just get tired of everybody sometimes, I'm not much of a people person outside of coming here and to the other boards I go to because of that to. I've never tried to hurt myself ever deliberately but I have been suicidal many times.

my parents didnt/doesnt even/ have the slightest clue that I was bullyied in Jr. High...

Julie, I sincerely hope you are ok now. Mercy, kids can be soooo mean. I read in Reader's Digest last year what people are doing to fight back against bullies. They are training kids to join together with the victim and fight back against the bully. It has had a significant impact. I actually approached the counselor at my kids' school last year about it, but she blew it off. :mad:

I tried overdosing (many, many times) before...I would always go to bed praying that I wouldnt wake up the next morning....I was even thinkin about doing something else ...but I dont really want to mention it...

Kim, it is obvious you are hurting and I am glad you are talking to us. Please, consider getting some help. I am confident that the people here will support you but you really need somone near you to help. This is very serious.

Are you able to promise us right now that you won't do anything to hurt yourself for the next 48 hours?

I'm doing ok with it now :) I still get pissed off if I think about it or if someone asks me about school and all though :mad: That is a good idea to have somrthing like that in the schools! I really wish someone thought about that when I was in school :rolleyes: I was the only black girl in my school and I really wished I wouldn't had the guts to knock the crap out of some punks at my school :)

Kim as you can see we have all struggled with crap in the past. I think people are trying very hard to rally around you here and give you some hope that things will get better. Aren't we everyone????

Darn right Julie :dancing:

Yes, we really do care Kim. It's sincere. Let us help you, ok? You're worth a lot. You may not feel it now, but we really do. It's good that you're talking to someone. Stick with us kid.

well bascially heres how it is.

highschool may suck right now. but it will end.
and hwen it does all that means nothing. you go on to collage, meet new people see new people. You get a good job, meet someone you like. mayby even get married or have kids someday. move to a new home, make neigbour friends, and look back thinking "god if i killed myself i would have lost all of this"
People ge tto caught up in the "present" than in teh future, suicide or suicide attemps can only make it worst, bad times will come, and ive had a few in times, but tehy will pass. After highschool is over, all that popularity and shit means NOTHING. your all on your own, and you move to different places to meet new people and get a new job or whatever. IF your feeling really bad, an actual good thing to do is read the bible. It may sound stupid or pointless, but it actually does help you in times of need.
Dont throw away now, what you may have later. 2 years of hell can be worth 56 years of heaven.

And I appreate it too...really !!

I might not show it ...but I really do..

Can you please do what Julie asked you though, 48 hours? please.

yes I will

Thank you Kim! Thank you. I'm praying for you. It could help. It can't hurt. Kim, keep talking to us, please. We are all concerned and care. I hope you know it's sincere. Chill out tonight. Listen to Creed and breathe. Love ya kid.

awesome - that is good to hear. keep in touch here - we will be here to support you.

Look...I need to go now and get to bed ...


I'll get on here in the morning anywhere from 7:30 (am) to about 8:00 (am) ....I'll try to get on after class If I can....

btw....the times I just gave you....its central time where I'm at ....so the times probably be different from you all are at....

You gotta hang in there Kim and take care of yourself, that's what matters the most. We can help you, but at the end of the day, you have to find a way out yourself. But we love ya and we will take care of you. :hugs:

Someone very close to me has just gone through absolute hell and back, and I was right there by his side from the beginning. I saw the pain, the hatred, the tears, the anger, and the helplessness that he went through, but he got a grip and made through it battered and bruised, but he still made it and he is alive today. The things he went through, well honestly, no one should have to go through what he did, NOBODY.

If he made it anybody can, hang in there Kim.

Highschool sucked heapin piles of money butt :eek: :eek: :eek:

That is right - Kim you are the only one who can truly make this better. I am hoping that if you haven't cut yet that you won't start. Talk to someone, a professional, who can help you find a way to cope with your pain. Sometimes it takes a while to get through it but it is worth it and it can be done. You could even talk to your medical doctor - your doc may know of a good counselor who can help you. I probably won't be around much over the weekend so I am hoping that you will be ok.

Hope your not gonna get a counsler or someone to come and track me down or something....