And we'll take over the WORLD!! Lmao. :D

Yes I'm naughty and you can't get enough. ;) Muahaha. Sorry but you just really need to shave your back! :laugh:

Haha damn straight, I am the special one!! Speaking of the girls ...... hmm .... we need a new story, LOL.

Cinderella gets fat? I get fat? Well, that's an insult if ever I heard one!! ;) No don't talk about the older days let's talk about the endless hot passionate nights LMAO.

No you're forgetting again, only the hair fluffy is bad, any other fluffy (like material) is good! Hair fluffy ... *shudders* lol

okay just as long as you realise new zealand are the junior partner in all of this! ;) new zealand can do all the dirty jobs that australia doesn't want.....hehe.

hey i don't need to shave my back! lol there ain't no forest growing on my back. :laugh: attempting to give me the back, crack and sack is a major no-no! lmao

ah yes a story....what would i write one on? oh i know australia and new zealand taking over the world! :D i need to think up some funny ideas first......

contary to popular belief i hear old buggers still like sex! :roll: we shall always be in the prime of our life lol. the prince never goes bald or has erection problems, and cinderella never gets fat or goes through menopause! hahahha

oh so material fluffy is good? lol fluffy....fluffy....fluffy! lol so do you think my hair is fluffy? ;)

okay its time for another joke at the expense of the kiwis! hehe

An Aussie is driving through the New Zealand countryside when he notices a man doing a sheep. He pulls up next to the man, winds down his window (power windows haven't being invented in NZ yet hehehehe) and asks the man "Shouldn't you be sheering that"? The Kiwi replies "I ain't sheering this with anyone"! :laugh: :laugh:

Okay I'm going to do another story but I'm sure if it can live up to past editions! lol

Michael: Hello this the Prime Minster of Australia, could I have Prime Minster Ginns on the phone please?
Secretary: Yeah sure I'll just get her love. Whats it like in Canberra at the moment? Its preddy cold in here in Wellington hey!
Hayley: Oh sorry Mr.Prime Minister that was my crazy secretary, its good she didn't start trying to sell you some of her Amway products.....crazy woman.
Michael: I wanted to discuss our invasion of the United Arab Emirates.
Hayley: The United Arab what?
Michael: Its a oil rich place and we're going to invade there so we can have enough money for our big invasion of the U.S.
Hayley: The U.S? Cool so we're going to take Disneyland. I love Disneyland....Mickey Mouse is my favourite. Whats yours?
Michael: I don't think we have time to be discussing this, we have more important matters at hand.
Hayley: Oh come on....don't be such an old codger

Michael: Okay my fav is Donald Duck *does voice* now lets get back to serious business. Now we need to discuss what fighter jets New Zealand is going to require to help Australia in Operation Fair Dinkum Mate.
Hayley: Can't we just make love....not war?
Michael: Hey now you're talking
Hayley: Hey watch yourself busta! I was talking about peaceful relations you dirty man!
Michael: Oh so no intimate relations? Man this alliance sucks! *laughs*
So how many planes are you going to need?
Hayley: My minister of defence thinks that sex will do!
Michael: *coughs out water* he what?
Hayley: Sex
Michael: Did you just say sex?
Hayley: No sex.....I want sex of them
Michael: Wait a second.....a minute ago you were telling me off for my dirty joke and now your minister of defence wants sex?
Hayley: No se....se.....six of them!
Michael: Oh six of them! You should have said that in the first place!
Hayley: I did!
Michael: *laughs;
Hayley: Prime Minister did you know I was saying six all along?
Michael: *laughs hysterically* maybe.....
Hayley: Now we need to work more professinally than this.....no more kiwi jokes!
Michael: Oh what.....what are we going to discuss then?
Hayley: We should be discussing international trade, foreign debt, third-world debt and other pressing concerns.
Michael: Ah boring! Lets take about war.....we need to have a video for our troops with the rocky music playing in the background. Oh Adrian......Adrian!
Hayley: Okay if we must go to war, I think we should make Ireland a target.
Michael: Ireland? Why Ireland?

Hayley: Cause that is where U2 comes from you silly bugger! I'm going to take Larry Mullen Jnr. as my political prisioner. We need to have some one on one time so he can give me some information.
Michael: Oh that is just gross! No going to Ireland!
Hayley: Party pooper!
Michael: Now we are going to need to a single currency and a single capital to save on costs in this empire of ours. I say Canberra should be the capital.
Hayley: No the capital should be in New Zealand.
Michael: But Australia is bigger.....do you want to be part of this or not?
Hayley: Bully! Can we make professional wrestling the official sport of the empire?
Michael: Ah its not a sport.....its actually fake!
Hayley: Is not
Michael: Is too
Hayley: Is not
Michael: Is too
Is not Is too Is not Is too Is not Is too is is is is not not not
Hayley: We're a couple of five year olds! How are going to defeat the Eskimos?
Michael: The Eskimos? They don't have any weapons....we have F-16 fighters!
Hayley: Silly aussies think you know everything.....the eskimos will win....you'll see!
Michael: I think you're a couple of cans short of a six-pack!
Hayley: What is that supposed to mean? That I don't have my marbles?
Michael: Ah...ah nevermind....now I have a brillant plan. New Zealand gets jokes made about what happens to their sheep from Aussies. How 'bout if we took advantage of this? Disgusting men will be lured over to New Zealand and we'll catch them in the act and we'll force them to join the army.....they shall be slaughtered like pigs! *evil laugh*
Hayley: I really think our empire should be vegeterian. Think of the health benefits and it will help the environment cause we'll need less grazing land.
Michael: What was that? Didn't catch that last bit....anyway got to go have my lunch. A big porterhouse steak!

The End......

You don't need to shave your back? Yeah, right, that's not what I was saying lastnight when you were lying next to me ..... ;)

Old people having sex? Ugh, how can that be? :eek: See what I mean, let's be young forever, and make love forever! LMAO.

AHHH NO HAIR FLUFFY = BAD, VERY BAD! Grosss ... *shudders*

Dude you are the coolest person ever, that story just had me in fits of laughter, every day you crack me up.

Oh man ... That was great, but so disgusting LOL. :hammerlol

LMAO :laugh:

Ahahaha .... come on now, you Ozy's say sex, not us! :laugh: lmao

Ahahaha you know me too well! :naughty: Hehehe.

LOL ... ugh! ;) Michael, are you sure you're not a comedian in your spare time? Lol that was go great, 100/10 :D

Wait I thought that was Kate Hudson? ;) But check out this.....you don't need carrots to put hair on your chest! :laugh: you should know you're a kiwi! hehe

Oh i'll keep going to the day I die! :laugh: Okay lets be young forever but don't turn out like Cher with a plastic face! :eek: LOL

oh i keep forgetting really i do! ;) i thought hair fluffy was good....silly me! LOL coolest person ever? :o hey can i get a trophy made up with coolest person ever 2005 awarded to michael? hehe


that doesn't really happen in new zealand does it? that could put me off ever visiting the country in my entire lifetime! LOL jk


oh we do but thats cause we're dirty little buggers! you kiwis just can't pronounce your i's properly! LMAO

[/quote]
prime minister of new zealand as the head of the united nations i demand to know why larry mullen is lying on a table hundcuffed! LMAO


lol i wish i was! it depends who i'm around and if i'm comfortable enough with them. :)

any ideas where i could take another one?

Wait ... there was SOMEONE ELSE?! I can't believe this! :crying: Hehe.

Oh yeah you keep forgetting, that's right. ;) Hahaha well maybe I can jack something up, I'll bring a trophy over! LOL.

Oh gross ... grosssss hahahahaha.

Hmm I wonder which is better ... hmm ...... hard question .............. okay damn it dirty little buggers is better! New Zealanders just suck at speaking properly! :laugh:

Oh baby .. :pant: OH I mean ... well ... we are .... umm .... practicing incase we get into a spot of trouble and someone needs to be restrained! Yes, that's it! :D

Haha noo you're supposed to come up with the brilliant ideas! :p Hahaa ... give us another one about our trip, those are classic lol

wait so that was you and not kate hudson? damn ripped off! LMAO jk....oh i mean what a pleasant surprise! ;) oh were both of you there? wow i must have been in heaven. threesome time! :naughty: LMAO

oh i've got a terrible memory! ;) i never used to use the word fluffy until recently....funny that! hehe hey and no cheap $5 trophy! i want it to be gold-plated! :laugh:


hehe i'm going to make you so self-concious about your accent! what is 12 divded by 2 again? i forgot! ;)

and for this high level practice you needed to remove his items of clothing? :laugh:

but how i am supposed to please my audience if they won't tell me what they want! LOL okay i'll do another one about the trip.....how bout a visit to one of the parks? LOL i'll do sometime this week....probably on the weekend when i've got some more time.

AHHHH no, I think it's time for me to leave! ;) Your'e not going to follow? Oh but look, I have handcuffs and whipped crreeeaaamm! LOL.

Yeah, really funny. :rolleyes: LOL. Oh damn, so I cant bring you a cardboard trophy? Arrrggh! :D

Noo don't or I'll give you a low blow! Hehehe. Or maybe I just won't speak at all, but you'll be saying that's a good thing! LOL.

Well ... uhh ... I said to him "And what if someone was to rip off a peice of your clothing" And showed him an example, by ripping off his pants! Then he showed me what he would do! Ohh was it worth it! LMAO!

LOL. Ooh that will be interesting!

can kate come too? ;) hehe hey last time you put me in those handcuffs you left me there all day! :laugh:

wow hayley this carboard trophy is really beautiful. i feel so special! :rolleyes: LOL

*evil laugh* i win either way! if you speak i get the accent, if you don't i get some peace and quiet! :laugh: hahaha i'm going to have so much fun! :D

he's a married man! :eek: homewrecker! ;)

okay sometime this week......

Yes but it was much fun, wasn't it? ;)

Aww thanks, I made it myself! Be careful, don't touch it too much or the glue will seperate! :laugh:

LMAO .... :( You'll love my voice too much to make fun of it! LOL.

Hey! He didn't complain lastnight!! ;)

oh it awesome LOL but i got really hungry and i hold on cause i couldn't go to the toilet! :laugh:

you could have at least used superglue! ;) hey i've got only 1 month as the coolest person. i really should have coolest person of the year....not of the month! LMAO

hey i can like your voice and still make fun of ya! ;)

you wicked witch! ;) now excuse me i must attend to my kate! LOL

Muahaha I LOVE seeing you suffer! :laugh:

What, my special cardboard trophy isn't good enough for you? I'm heartbroken, I put everything I had into that trophy! :( lmao

Arrrgh damn that's true ... LOL. Well I will just not like yours, and make fun of it 24/7! ;)

And please excuse me while I attend to my Larry ... then my Jeff ... then my Larry ... then my Jeff ... then my Larry ... LMAO ;)

Are you a dominatrix? :laugh: No giving me electrical shocks is not sexy! LOL

All you've got? It looks like a 5 year old made it! hehehehehehe

You can't do that......everyone loves the aussie accent and all the cool slang we use! Now sheila be a darling and grab me a snag off the barbie you lazy drongo! ;)


Oh and Charlize Theron is here.....here Charlize join me and Kate! :naughty: LMAO