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-   -   Out of Life (Full version) (http://www.creedfeed.com/community/showthread.php?t=5693)

MrSeeker 01-27-2004 11:14 PM

Out of Life (Full version)
 
"He hopes to find the cure
Because he cant take it anymore
He's tired of feeling this way
To fight these demons each day
He's had more then any man can take
He feels he's about to break

He's in harms way
But its time to play
He takes out the knife
And takes his own life

Its sad to see a life end up like this
He may not realize it,but he will be deeply missed
It hurts to feel the weight of a shattered heart
To feel the cold passing of someone depart

She waste's her life away
to prostitution each day
All she needs is someone to love
But no one's ever around to give her enough
She found herself in a helpess situation
The guy had a knife and likes mutilation

She's in harms way
But its time to play
He took out the knife
And took her tourmented life

Its sad to see a life end up like this
She may not realize it,but she will be deeply missed
It hurts to feel the haunting voice of someone going away
To to feel their binding chanes that binded them each day

A man hide behind the mask he's made
He feels so alone and is always afraid
He is hollow with no one to love him
This lonely man hates the world he lives in
He wants out of this bitter,cold place
To feel the warmth of somewhere else upon his face

This lonely man is me
And he feels so empty
He's in harms way
But its time to play

Out of hope
Out of blood
Out of breath
Out of life
Im giving up,I cant take this anymore
Blood,it pours out onto the floor"


Ok,hope you like it! I feel it is my best yet. What do you think?

JulieCitySlicker 01-27-2004 11:18 PM

That was good Kevin! So sad but good ;)

SCOTTSMYMAN 01-27-2004 11:31 PM

That was awesome Kevin! I kind of can't really find the right words! Very deep and grippingly emotional!

creedsister 01-27-2004 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSeeker
"He hopes to find the cure
Because he cant take it anymore
He's tired of feeling this way
To fight these demons each day
He's had more then any man can take
He feels he's about to break

He's in harms way
But its time to play
He takes out the knife
And takes his own life

Its sad to see a life end up like this
He may not realize it,but he will be deeply missed
It hurts to feel the weight of a shattered heart
To feel the cold passing of someone depart

She waste's her life away
to prostitution each day
All she needs is someone to love
But no one's ever around to give her enough
She found herself in a helpess situation
The guy had a knife and likes mutilation

She's in harms way
But its time to play
He took out the knife
And took her tourmented life

Its sad to see a life end up like this
She may not realize it,but she will be deeply missed
It hurts to feel the haunting voice of someone going away
To to feel their binding chanes that binded them each day

A man hide behind the mask he's made
He feels so alone and is always afraid
He is hollow with no one to love him
This lonely man hates the world he lives in
He wants out of this bitter,cold place
To feel the warmth of somewhere else upon his face

This lonely man is me
And he feels so empty
He's in harms way
But its time to play

Out of hope
Out of blood
Out of breath
Out of life
Im giving up,I cant take this anymore
Blood,it pours out onto the floor"


Ok,hope you like it! I feel it is my best yet. What do you think?

not a shocker but its really good and said most of all but awsome!!!!!! :D :D

SleeplessAngel 01-28-2004 02:04 AM

I already told you I really liked it, but you really should start putting some music to this stuff and send it to me :D

MrSeeker 01-28-2004 02:25 AM

Thanks alot you guys!!! :D
S.A., I am trying the best I can,I need my lazy friends to get their acts together though :rolleyes:
But yea,Im trying!

SleeplessAngel 01-28-2004 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSeeker
Thanks alot you guys!!! :D
S.A., I am trying the best I can,I need my lazy friends to get their acts together though :rolleyes:
But yea,Im trying!


Did you try threatening them with me yet? :D

MrSeeker 01-28-2004 03:29 AM

Not yet,hahaha, I will be sure to do that though :D

Dogstar 01-28-2004 04:15 AM

MrSeeker, I like this one a lot, but I still think Kill the Living is my favorite so far :D...

Love these lines:
A man hide behind the mask he's made
He feels so alone and is always afraid
He is hollow with no one to love him

And I'm wit SleeplessAngel...I want to hear your stuff put to music! I'll bet it will rock.

Torn Signs 01-28-2004 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSeeker
"
This lonely man is me
And he feels so empty
He's in harms way
But its time to play "

Those lines are what got my interest the most as we find out that the narrator is going through the same thing. You could even analyze and ask if the narrator is doin' it because of the pain of loosin' the other two. It's awesome when different ways can be interpeted from poems, great job. :clap:

MrSeeker 01-28-2004 05:54 PM

Thanks soooooo much!!!! I cant tell you how much your kind words mean to me,thanks :D


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