I think Marsly that you should just sit down and talk to her....just approch her and say "is everything alright" and she she should come out with everything...you two should just talk, you will feel alot better, it's what my mum does to me and we both feel better usually...sorry if i wasn't any help.

Its fittin ta rain:(

I think that's a great suggestion, Hayley.

It works when i'm feeling down, my mum just comes straight out and askes me wha'ts wrong, and i open up too her.....we both feel better afterwards

thanks Hayley, that is a very good suggestion, your mom is very lucky you open up to her, and you are lucky she come's to you!!! I have asked her over and over again, she does open up a little and tells me she hates school, no kids bother her, she just hates all the pressure of the work. She is falling behind. She is very quiet and shy so she has one best friend that she hangs around with and that's it. I've even come out and asked her if she ever feels happy and she said not really. Breaks my heart. I'm not sure that is true since right at this moment I hear her laughing upstairs with her sister, the one she says she hates LOL It's so hard to know what is normal teen stuff and what is not like I said before, thank you for your suggestion, I think I will try it again!!! Thanks everyone for your encouraging words, I really appreciate it!!!:P

That's okay :P

Yeah teenagers are very good at hiding the way that they feel, if they don't want to talk about it (i know from experiance lol) and i'm sure that you remember too? if there was anything wrong? it just really hits in when you are by yourself.

Yeah, I remember those days too. I'm happy to hear you and your Mom can talk, Hayley.:)

Yeah, it is great. She is a great mummy. :D

Hayley, yes I do remember, I remember very well, that's why i'm so worried about her, I see myself in her!!! I was very depressed when I look back now, noone noticed it in me though. I was really miserable growing up, that's why I got into so much trouble, ditching school, dabbling in drugs and so on........ I don't want her to go through it too, sometimes I think she should get on meds, if I had them back then I think they could of changed my life back then, then again, I don't want a daughter on meds either, it's a hard decision and so hard to know whats normal.

Oh Marlsy, teen years are so tough:( I started to get my "mouth" at age 13, my mother says I have never been the same:rolleyes: Does she have many friends, is she eating ok, does she sleep a lot? There are times to go on meds and then there are times it is not nessesary. We live in a society where everyone thinks popping a pill will help it all.:( The most important thing is to keep the line of communication between the two of you open. I never could talk to my mom about certain things growing up, she was so strict and religious her answer was always "your going to hell if you continue this" It was hard as a teen to hear that, then I rebelled BIGTIME! So listen to her, keep on showing her you care, maybe take her out to a movie or something fun just the two of you. Are there any boys involved yet? Please know we are all thinking of you and know you will do what is best, you are such a good mommy!:angel:

Yeah, marsly, you have to keep the communication open, what Jen said (LOL it sounds as if i am a mother!) :lol: but i am saying this because i know what it feels like, and to know that your mother is there in the times of darkness, it's really good and comforting. THen maybe if you spend more time with her, she will open up.

Thanks Jen, I try to be a good mommy!!! She really only has one friend!! She has others I think that you know, she says hi to and stuff but only one major friend. She is soooooooooo quiet, she always has been, in the past i've had teachers ask me if she talks LOL The only reason I brought up the med issue is because of my family history and even my childhood and depression, if I could of had something to help me I would of pounced on it. I know those drugs are way over perscribed. I just want to be certain she dosn't need them, I really really don't want her to but if it could help her I would let her have them. I try sooo hard to keep the communication open, sometimes she opens up, lately she hasn't really. I'm sorry about what you mom used to say to you, that had to be rough!!! My mom was single and worked her butt off to make ends meet so she really wasn't around much to watch over me unfoutunatly. I think to make up for her guilt she was wayyyyy to easy on me. I was the only one of my friends with no curfew. I just so badly don't want her to go through such a hard teen years like I did. I always thought it would get easier when they got older, HA HA what a fool I was!!!! I wish she was my lil baby again!!!!

Well good luck for whatever happens

I know what you mean, Jen. I couldn't talk to either of my parents growing up so I kept everything bottled up for awhile until I was able to find some supportive people to help me and to share stuff with. My parents just didn't handle any personal problems or "negative" feelings that I had very well. Although I knew they loved me, they couldn't show me. It's always been hard for them to do that.

I think if you continue to be there for her, marlsy, she'll open up some more. She's very lucky to have a loving, concerned Mom like you.

Marlsy, just my little two cents. :2cents: ;) I was quite down during my teen years, around 14 or 15. All I can say to you as a mother, is just be there for her. Listen to her whenever she wants to talk and don't push her to talk when she doesn't want to. Make sure she knows that she can tell you ANYTHING without you judging her. Make time to spend with her and really try to be her friend. Hayley's right, just knowing that your mum is there for you does help. My mum put up with me when I was going through that stage, and we are very good friends now. I'm very thankful she didn't give up on me. Where would I be now without my mum? :) Geez, I'm welling up here...... :crying:

I hope this helps Marlsy. :D