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Beautiful as Hell
This didnt come out the way i wanted it,but its ok...i have written this over about 4 different times,this ones more people friendly (i guess you would say). Hope you like it even though I dont,hehe.
"The blood flows as the moment slows There she is with her poisened lips The one every guy wants A beautiful body she loves to flaunt Beautiful, she's so beautiful She's the one who knows your weakness She'll put on her charm and leave you defenseless She has a way with her words She'll get what she wants then kick you to the curb Beautiful, she's so beautiful Beautiful as Hell Her beautiful silky skin Hides her lies within And although I coulnt tell She's as beautiful as Hell" Please rate a 1 through 10 please! (10 being very good, 1 being horrible) |
seems like you've taken the idea behind beautiful by creed and just reworded it...
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Very diffrernt mrseeker than your other stuff it was short but HELL i liked it UMMMMMMMMM i give it A big 10 because it was so diffrent from your other stuff but yet good what can i say it was beautiful As hell
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actually, i didnt take the idea from creed. i wrote it up several different ways. I wrote it with severel different meanings also.
anywayz, Thanks Ta! :D |
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Actually, that theme is a pretty universal one written about by many and in many different ways. I like your effort, MrSeeker and it conveys the theme clearly. I give it an 8 :D. |
Thanks!!!
I totally think it sucks though,haha. i dont know why,it didnt come out like i wanted it to...when i re-wite it, i will post it,you guys will hopefully like that one better |
yo, just to clarify i wasn't having a go. i think it was well written and yeh i know the theme is that of an experience many of us have gone through, was just saying there are many similarities there.
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You should read my other stuff because this one (to me) is the worst i've written...
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Yea,hehehe,its all good :D
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I don't think it's bad at all. I know some of the stuff I wrote and think of as bad is other people's favorite. I like this one... I give it an 8 as well!
Edited to say that I like the title best of all. |
Thank you :D
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I like the evil dark stuff better...but that's just me. :)
This was alright though...6 |
Yea, I want to re-write the is to make it darker
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