CreedFeed Community |
As the moon shatters
Yeah so this piece=me+tenminutes+write it down no matter how nonsensical it is. Turned out well, or at least I think so.
The questions are all the same Different words are used Rhyming is gone, harmony out A large mess of contradicting noise Animal voices screeching In the area off-limits Time again, time again No one left to listen But then: One understands what I say One doesn’t turn around Looks in my eyes, looks at my face Doesn’t hide the verum-i* You give me a reason to write Behind is a life that was written for me A reflection of what I wanted to be I never thought you could even exist Hit me like water on rocks A melting pot of all that is good Nothing left to question When my mind is next to yours Arm around the shoulders Or thought provoking words Juxtaposition of two ideas A way of life... which just works out Hearkening back to days ago Years it might as well be Reminiscing as the moon shatters A little is left for you and I Freedom to say it, even if I can’t play it With anything resembling a key A to Z, or A to G, pick your poison Or pick me *latin word for truth. Not sure why I threw the latin in there. Just seemed to fit. |
cool that was latin i love you smart ones at the feed outstanding loved the entire thing A to Z was awsome to throw in too interesting :)
|
Great lyrics, uncertain!
Like specially that part: You give me a reason to write Behind is a life that was written for me A reflection of what I wanted to be I never thought you could even exist Hit me like water on rocks A melting pot of all that is good Nothing left to question When my mind is next to yours ;) |
a melting pot of all thats good nothing left to question when my mind is next to yours... thats the part i liked as well :)
|
Meh. I just can't get into it.
It seems to be just words. I see no feeling behind it. Sorry. |
seems like more of a poem to me too...nice work though.
|
It is a poem. I think it is one of my best. I manage to avoid cliches and stupid rhymes. I also keep a theme throughout but is not to blunt and obvious. I think I finally got a couple of decent metaphors into this one.
Dang writing good poems/songs is hard... |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
i liked this one better than the last one you posted :)
|
This one is better. lol
|
Quote:
ah, my bad..i thought you had said it was a song. and yes, writing good poems/songs is hard. |
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:43 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2004 Steve Caponetto. All Rights Reserved.