CreedFeed Community - if men wrote advice columns....

okay first of all if you're easily offended simply exit the thread if you wish. with that out of the way hope this gives everyone a laugh.....:)

Q. My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A. Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roomates involved as well? If you are still apprehensive maybe you should let him be with your friends when you're not around. If you're still not sure just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.

Q. My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A. Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly men know this. His offer for you to do provide this service is completely selfless and has nothing to do with his own pleasure. This shows that he loves you. The best thing to do is to start doing it twice a day and then cook him a nice meal.

Q. My husband has way too many nights out with the boys.
A. This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess to other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship faster than your man been away for a day or two. Its also a great time to get that spring cleaning done. Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing for you to do when he returns home is to peform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.

Q.My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A.Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape this and give it to your husband as a special birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, give your husband oral sex and cook him a nice meal.

Q.My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A. You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek senstivity training. Foreplay to men is very boring and time-consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand and without demands for foreplay. What this means is you do not love your husband as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex and cooking him a nice meal.

Q.My husband always goes rolls to sleep after having an orgasm and never gives me one or stays awake and talks whilst cuddling me.
A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you should cook him a nice meal.