The "jokes" thread
 

it's time to laught a bit..here it goes...

1.Q:What do you call 2 blondesin the front seat of a car?
A: Dual air bags!

2.Q:What should you do if a blonde throws a hand-granade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back!

3.Little boys at school wonder what's a penis..At home Billy asks dad:
Dad (unzips fly):This is a penis..as a matter of fact it's a perfect penis
Next day at school Billy(unzips):This is a penis..and if it were 3 inches shorter,it'd be perfect!

4.Q:What's the definition of a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever!

5.2 brunettes and a blonde are sitting at the bar,checking out the guys.
Brunette:See that guy over there with one eye?
Blonde: (covering her left eye with her hand):Where?

:P :P

PS:No offence to all the blond ladies here!

NO Offence taken Siana, I'm a strawberryblonde..HA!:rolleyes:

Anyhoo, I have a blond joke...

"How can you tell that a blonde has been useing her vibrater?"

Her two front teeth are chipped.....:P

What's the difference between a blonde and a 747? Not everyone has been in a 747??:rolleyes:

How does a blonde turn on a light after sex? She opens up the car door..:P

How does a blonde part her hair? By doing the splits..:eek:

Why did the blonde jump out of the airplane?
She thought her pads had wings.

One day a blonde was going to disney land, when she got there, there was a sign that said disney land left, so she went home.

Why was a blonde pleased with herself when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in 8 months?
Because the box said 3 to 6 years

Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house


A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"



A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.
"Yes," says the blonde.

"Are their lights on?"

The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."


Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself!


:D

lol

Pollack goes into whorehouse
"I wanna get fucked"
"Slip $50 under the door"
He waits...and waits...,then yells:
"Hey!I said I wanna get fucked!"
Voice behind the door:"Again?"

Wow! This thread turning into pure porno...:eek: :P :eek:

sorry,i didn't have that intention

If a blonde and a brunette both jumped off a building at the same time,who would land first?
The Brunette.The blonde would have to stop and ask 4 directions!

well here are some brunette jokes!!! ;)




What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.

Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
So brunettes can remember them.

What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
Invisible.

What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
Brown-bagging it.

Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

What are the worst 3 words you can hear when you're making love??
Honey,I'm home!

What's the first thing a blonde hears in the morning?
See ya!

:angel: :angel: :P :lol:

:D Those made up for da blonde ones Marlsy!! Too funny!!! Hehehehe!!!:P :lol: :lol: :lol: :jam:

;)