Oh no, you've found out my real occupation! :yikes:


Well fine! I'll have it! Give it back! LOL.

Oh yeah, the accent is such a turn on ... ;)

Eeew ... although she is very beautiful ... but eeeeew! LOL ... hmm who else can join me larry and jeff! Hmmm ..... i'll have to think about that one! :eek:

No wonder you talk about handcuffs so much! :roll:

Its not the result but the thought that counts! LOL The trophy may suck but I'm touched! hehehe

Oh the country is filled with outback joe's! :laugh:

charlize is hot and in a classy way.....maybe i'll get that girl that is in swim fan. helena christissen i think her name is.....LOL

Shhh, this is just between you and me! :laugh:

Well that's the main thing! :p Lol ...

LOL .... oh no wait, that was me! Woo hoo, you've realised that I'm your lady! LMAO :cool:

Hmm, this thread seems to be dying, we need a new topic!

okay i won't tell anyone i promise! no-one will probably enter this thread anyway! :p


so the cardboard one broke....can i get a gold-plated one now? LOL

it was? you do know that character seduces a dude (who has a long-term girlfriend) in a swimming pool and then tries to wreck his life after he rejects her! ;) no? LOL so if that was you;

1) damn you're smokin! :laugh:
2)please don't kill me! :laugh:

this thread doesn't really seem to serve a purpose now considering MSN is such a better way to talk about whatever crap we feel like! LOL
new topic? had anything in mind.......?

okay i've brought back this thread cause i got an idea.....:)

The names, characters and places in this story are completely real. Any resemblance to any name, person, character or place is totally deliberate and based on real people. The writers of this story totally ripped off other people's lives (with a hint of exaggeration) and produced this pile of steaming crap.

In the beginning God created.......no thats not it

Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a giant........no thats not it

Oh I know.....
4 years after this trip Michael made a terrible decision and proposed and even worse Hayley accepted! A couple of years later they fell pregnant and the world would face little Michael and Hayley's walking around. Oh the horror......

We join the story as Hayley is giving birth......

Hayley: Ah Michael hold my hand it really hurts
Michael: You're not going to hit me are ya?
Hayley: Why would I hit ya?
Michael: Hmmmm well when it really starts hurting.....no low blows!
Doctor: Okay Hayley I'm just going to be inspecting the birth canal and make sure there is a clear passage for the little tacker
Hayley: *uncomfortably* Okay sure doc
Michael: Hey!!! You get out of your head away from there Doc! She's mine....you find your own woman!
Hayley: *embarassed* Michael he's making sure Kyan has a safe passage through!
Michael: *embarassed* Oh.....but I thought we agreed the child would be named Bob!
Hayley: No child of mine is going to be called Bob....its a hideous name!
Michael: hehe I know I was just fooling.....
Hayley: Hey no joking around....I'm in pain here...careful or I'll give you a low blow! *laughs*

Doctor: Okay Hayley the contractions will be coming thick and fast now, just breathe and everything will be fine.
Hayley: Fine!? Fine!!! Soon a baby's head will be coming out from that little hole! Does that sound fine to you?
Michael: Hayley please don't talk to him like that, he's doing his best!
Hayley: Don't you start with me!!!
Doctor: Its okay.....this is perfectly normal! She's a lot better than most actually.
Michael: *whispers* I'ld hate to see the worst....
Hayley: *Hits Michael and gives him a corkie in the thigh* I heard that!
Michael: Aaaaagghhh! That hurt!
Hayley: Good! Now you can be in pain like me!

Doctor: Okay Hayley now I need you to spread your legs to give the baby some room as it comes out.
Michael: *Hayley doesn't move* Hayley didn't you hear what he said?
Hayley: Yeah I heard what he said.....I did spread my legs and look what you did to me you heartless bastard!
Michael: *goes quiet*
Doctor: Its okay Michael.....she doesn't mean anything she saids right now. After this she'll be normal again.
Michael: *whispers* This is normal.....
Hayley: *hits Michael again* I heard that too!
Michael: Damn! You're like a school-teacher....you hear everything!
Hayley: *evil laugh*

Doctor: Okay there is going to be a bit of blood. Michael do you want to wait outside?
Michael: No worries doc......I'm staying here!
Doctor: Okay
Doctor: Push....breathe....push push push.....congralations a healthy baby boy!
Michael: Ugh look at all the blood! *faints*
*10 minutes later* Ah where am I?
Doctor: You're in a hospital, you saw a bit of blood and you fainted!
Hayley: *laughs hysterically at Michael*
Michael: *embarassed* Its not funny.......
Hayley: Yeah it is! *laughs again*
Doctor: Everything is fine Michael.....both boys are fine!
Michael: Both? You mean more than one? *faints again*
Hayley: Again?
About 20 minutes passes
Doctor: They're both beautiful boys and the second has being named Brody
Michael: With a y?
Hayley: Of course otherwise its a girl's name....
Michael: But.....but I like it with ie.....
Hayley: Hey I was the one in pain there doing all the work so its y!
Michael: Fine!
The End......

X has once again SAVED THE DAY.
Who knows what threads would have been BRUTALY MURDERED with these text messages! Luckley the Xterminator was able to qurenteen the virus and save all of creedfeed!

Story No: 4455432 Michael and Hayley Play Tennis

The last time we joined Michael and Hayley it was a few year's in the future. But we neglected a very important event that occured in Australia.....*dramatic music* they played tennis.

Hayley: I'm bored, Michael any ideas?
Michael: *Naughty face* *laughs*
Hayley: *loud laugh* I'm being serious!
Michael: *laughs* Yeah so was I! *winks*
Hayley: Come on think with your head for once on this trip!
Michael: *looks down* I am! *hysterical laughter*
Michael: I've got an idea....lets take advantage of that big, green and empty tennis court! *eyes light up*
Hayley: *fake smile* Hmmmm Hmmmm.....yeah I guess hmmmmm.....
Hayley: I've got a better idea, I brought all this Spongebob over, lets watch a couple of episodes.
Michael: Oh come on lets do something active! I spent 3 hours shopping with you yesterday, just a quick game of tennis! *sad puppy face*
Hayley: Na lets watch Spongebob, if you do that I'll even let you cuddle up with me!

Michael: No! That is bribery! I will not let myself be manipulated. Damn......yes I will.....
Hayley: Excellent! *laughs* Okay..okay just a quick game of tennis cause I see how much you want to play.
Hayley and Michael walk down to the tennis court when they see another guy and girl come to use the same court. They strike up a compromise they play doubles with Michael and Hayley on opposing teams. The other two players shall be known throughout the rest of the story as "Pretty boy" and "Hot Girl".

Michael: Hey Victoria you hold the racquet with the handle there, the skinny bit!
Hot Girl: Oh *blushes severely* I'm sorry!
Michael: *Smiles* Its alright! *saids to self* Oh man I'm in trouble, that guy looks preddy athletic. I better hog the court here...or just hit it really hard at Hayley. *evil laugh* Just kidding.....LOL
Hayley serves to Hot Girl and the ball lands in the back of the head of "Pretty boy".
Hayley: Oh I'm so sorry! *blushes* They change ends where Hayley's team wins the first game to lead 1-0.
Michael: *whispers to Hayley* You know Hayley you probably wouldn't of hit Patrick in the back of the head if you were looking at the ball instead of checking out his ass as he was bending over.
Hayley: *sticks out tongue* Party pooper...you think I play this game cause I like hitting the ball over a net? This is an awesome perve! *laughs*
Michael: *laughs* Yes it is, that Natasha is smoking......
Hayley: Hey what about me?
Michael: Oh you're good as well! *laughs* *winks* So if I was on your team would be checking out my ass?
Hayley: Sure! Why not? *hysterical laughter*

Hayley's team is leading 5-2 in the first set when Michael's team starts coming back and gets back to 5-4 and the game is getting tense. Hayley is now looking at the ball when serving and finds she has a good and powerful serve. She miss-hits one serve and sends one ball towering into Michael's nuts! He hobbles over in pain and they all run around to see if he's okay. He's balls have ballooned to the size of watermelons and he is in aching pain.
Hot Girl: Michael are you okay? Is there anything I can do?
Michael: Oh Natasha, it really hurts I think I need to mouth to mouth! *manages slight laugh*
Hayley: I'm so sorry! *sad face* Michael I'll get some ice...*gets ice* Now can you let us check you out and put some ice there?
Michael: No way! I'm not showing everyone my nakedness particulary in this situation!
Hayley: Okay..okay take ya back to the hotel room and you can put it on yourself.
They do that and they swear to never EVER again play tennis EVER again.

Oh this is great :D

LMFAO ... :laugh: :laugh: Even in our funny stories you can't keep your mind out of the gutter! ;) LOL.

LOL!!!!!! :D

Ouuuucccchhhhh ...... hehehee ;)

LOL ... that's histerical LOL

LOL. That was fantastic, LOL. :D So are you sure you won't be needing any help, even in our hotel room? LMFAO ;)

Even reading back on some of these stories still have me in fits of laughter!! :D

LOL i'm glad someone enjoys my incredibly cheesy sense of humour! :D

your response to me getting hit in the nuts is ouch followed by hehehehehe? aren't you supposed to be feeling sorry for me considering YOU caused it? ;)
well you can help me back at the hotel room if you really want! :naughty: :laugh:
so we are going to find a hotel with a tennis court but i shall wear protection for my nether regions! hahahaha ;)

Well I guess that means I'm just as cheesy as you are! LOL ;)

Feeling sorry for you? Pffffft, I laugh when you're in pain buddy! Cry me a river! LOL ;)

I can? I think my hands will be able to get rid of that pain better than that ice pack ... :naughty: LMAO
Do we havveeeee to get a hotel with a tennis court? I suck at tennis! :crying: LOL

i guess so! :p as long as you don't listen to cheesy music its all good! lol


*justin timberlake walks on stage* cry me a river....i stole this move off michael jackson when he was still black....cry me a river...i stole this move off usher...ah how do i sing this high i must only be 12! LOL


i hope so....you talk up your skills but all i see so far is talk! ;) well we don't have to but i would like one if possible. i can't go 9-10 days without picking up a racquet. well i guess it doesn't matter, plenty of other stuff to do. i could teach you....we could do that thing where we both hold the racquet and we swing our hips...and well you know the rest! :laugh: nah its alright spa and pool are essentials and sauna and a tennis court are optionals.