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-   -   As the moon shatters (http://www.creedfeed.com/community/showthread.php?t=9922)

uncertaindrumer 11-10-2005 11:52 AM

As the moon shatters
 
Yeah so this piece=me+tenminutes+write it down no matter how nonsensical it is. Turned out well, or at least I think so.

The questions are all the same
Different words are used
Rhyming is gone, harmony out
A large mess of contradicting noise

Animal voices screeching
In the area off-limits
Time again, time again
No one left to listen

But then: One understands what I say
One doesn’t turn around
Looks in my eyes, looks at my face
Doesn’t hide the verum-i*

You give me a reason to write
Behind is a life that was written for me
A reflection of what I wanted to be
I never thought you could even exist

Hit me like water on rocks
A melting pot of all that is good
Nothing left to question
When my mind is next to yours

Arm around the shoulders
Or thought provoking words
Juxtaposition of two ideas
A way of life... which just works out

Hearkening back to days ago
Years it might as well be
Reminiscing as the moon shatters
A little is left for you and I

Freedom to say it, even if I can’t play it
With anything resembling a key
A to Z, or A to G, pick your poison
Or pick me

*latin word for truth. Not sure why I threw the latin in there. Just seemed to fit.

Rocketqueen 11-10-2005 12:05 PM

cool that was latin i love you smart ones at the feed outstanding loved the entire thing A to Z was awsome to throw in too interesting :)

Ana4Stapp 11-10-2005 03:45 PM

Great lyrics, uncertain!

Like specially that part:

You give me a reason to write
Behind is a life that was written for me
A reflection of what I wanted to be
I never thought you could even exist

Hit me like water on rocks
A melting pot of all that is good
Nothing left to question
When my mind is next to yours
;)

Rocketqueen 11-10-2005 10:45 PM

a melting pot of all thats good nothing left to question when my mind is next to yours... thats the part i liked as well :)

MrSeeker 11-11-2005 01:38 AM

Meh. I just can't get into it.

It seems to be just words. I see no feeling behind it. Sorry.

Creed7352 11-11-2005 02:02 AM

seems like more of a poem to me too...nice work though.

uncertaindrumer 11-11-2005 08:56 AM

It is a poem. I think it is one of my best. I manage to avoid cliches and stupid rhymes. I also keep a theme throughout but is not to blunt and obvious. I think I finally got a couple of decent metaphors into this one.

Dang writing good poems/songs is hard...

Rocketqueen 11-11-2005 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSeeker
Meh. I just can't get into it.

It seems to be just words. I see no feeling behind it. Sorry.

:)

Rocketqueen 11-11-2005 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Creed7352
seems like more of a poem to me too...nice work though.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I love Your Avi

Anna1011 11-12-2005 07:18 AM

i liked this one better than the last one you posted :)

uncertaindrumer 11-12-2005 11:53 AM

This one is better. lol

Creed7352 11-15-2005 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uncertaindrumer
It is a poem. I think it is one of my best. I manage to avoid cliches and stupid rhymes. I also keep a theme throughout but is not to blunt and obvious. I think I finally got a couple of decent metaphors into this one.

Dang writing good poems/songs is hard...


ah, my bad..i thought you had said it was a song.

and yes, writing good poems/songs is hard.


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